I don’t understand why people are seemingly so against gay rights. Who gives a fuck? If two dudes or two fine ladies are in love and they want to get married and get the same breaks that straight people (or breeders) get, than why do you straight conservative jackoffs care? Ah.. yes.. there is that whole religious thing that you guys always latch onto like fear turtles. God thinks gays are heathens and they have no right to commit sins in front of your non-sinner eyes. I get it. Yawn.
How is marriage defined? I mean, how is it really defined? Who is to say which definition is right? We all have different gods, different leaders and completely different viewpoints on a plethora of subjects. Why can one group say that the other is wrong as long as that group doesn’t infringe upon the rights of anyone else in the other group? Now, if you are turning to your religious beliefs and declaring that seeing evil vile homoerotic sin in front of you is a violation of your rights due to your beliefs, well then maybe you’re a hypocrite. Maybe you are infringing upon someone else’s rights just as much as you feel that they are infringing upon yours. Newsflash: some people are offended by your hardcore religious bullshit. If we all have to sit around and please the religious right all the time and live within their rules and constraints, isn’t that infringing upon the rights of those of us who are not a part of the religious right? If someone cannot do something because someone else is offended, then that is an infringement of rights. Someone call the sensitivity police!
As a libertarian, I often times find myself siding with the right more than the left on a lot of issues. Well, this is an area where my political ideology is much more left than what my conservative friends would probably like to see. So to all my liberal homies who I have offended in the past, this blog’s for you.
Anyhoo, now the whole “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” thing is coming back up. Just get rid of it. Gay dudes and lasses shouldn’t have to be hush hush because a few soldiers are homophobic? That’s crap as far as I am concerned. I’m offended by most straight people and how they act publicly when in relationships but I ain’t going to whine about it and expect special treatment. Now, the one argument that most homophobic soldiers throw out there is that they are uncomfortable sharing barracks with queers. Well, maybe the queers are uncomfortable sharing barracks with you breeders. C’mon man, you’re badass soldiers. If the gay dude gets frisky, just use your warrior skills and defend your junk. You can go toe-to-toe with Al Qaeda but you can’t handle the sexual advances of your bunkmate? And really, how often would this happen? Probably not often. The things soldiers worry about is funny in comparison to what they really have to face on the job. For the record, I have been advanced on by many gay men and just telling them I’m not interested might not have been enough but it got me a lot of free alcoholic beverages while they tried to unsuccessfully seduce me into gaiety.
This whole anti-gay idiocy is just a product of archaic religious tradition and common homophobia amongst miseducated and paranoid Americans. You know, if you are that afraid of gays, you might just be one. Just sayin’.
Anyway, this country has that whole “separation of church and state” thing going on, which was pretty much established by my homeboy, Thomas Jefferson. I’m in favor of the separation, maybe that makes me a total heathen but I’m fine with that. God and I are in a weird place in our relationship and frankly, he doesn’t concern me and I may have come to the conclusion recently that he is just an overactive and very opinionated imaginary friend. The jury’s still out but yeah, I’m leaning towards imaginary friend.
So if we are in a country where church and state are separate, then why does the religious right have to push their ideas and beliefs on us? I respect what they believe but I don’t need it shoved down my dickhole like a catheter. However, out of that respect, they should respect how I feel and how many others feel about their beliefs. Otherwise, they are just like Muslims screaming for tolerance all while trying to push Sharia Law and the intolerance it brings. We aren’t always going to agree but we have to live together and just because your God, or really just your man servant to God, says that gay = evil doesn’t mean that we all have to adapt our lives to your point-of-view. Who says you’re right? I say I’m right. And frankly, we can debate who is right and wrong for a lifetime, which just makes my point that much more clearer and solid.
So with the marriage thing, who said it needs to be between a man or woman? Who said that it needs to be with just two people? Why not three or four or five or all Mormon-like and shit with a dozen bitches grilling burgers and handing you Stella Artois? Shit, that’s my ideal scenario. I need to holler at Mitt Romney about getting down with some Mormon bitches. If you live in Utah and want to share a big burly sex machine with a dozen or so of your other Utahan sisters, let a brother know. I’ll relocate you to Florida, the weather is nice, I’ve got a sweet Toyaota Corolla named CougarBear and an above average penis.
When it comes down to getting your freak on, the straight way or the gay way, just do you. Fuck the religious rhetoric and be loyal to yourself. Maybe my words and advice will send you to Hell with me but at least there’s a bar and lots of tight holes in Satan’s playground. Shit, when it comes to monogamy, that whole concept is only a few hundred years old anyway. So man on man butt-vaulting and lady on lady carpet munching aren’t new; they’ve been around as long as religion and maybe even a bit longer. C’mon, you can’t tell me that the cavemen weren’t fucking every hole they could fit in? It was like a Neanderthaloid Attica back in the day people.