*Written by Rob Rimes.
Well kids, I just finished up an article about Mitt Romney and his “47 percent” comments and how the liberal media was reacting to it. Not too long after that debacle, the conservative media released a tape of Barack Obama talking about how he is for “redistribution” of wealth. The fucked up thing is that this mysterious tape was from 1998! Yes, this tape’s recorded conversation happened 14 years ago! Well, since I pontificated on Romney’s recently revealed controversial comments, it wouldn’t be fair for me to not mention Obama’s. So what did President Obama say that got conservatives in a tizzy? Here’s the quote:
I think the trick is figuring out how do we structure government systems that pool resources and hence facilitate some redistribution because I actually believe in redistribution, at least at a certain level to make sure that everybody’s got a shot. How do we pool resources at the same time as we decentralize delivery systems in ways that both foster competition, can work in the marketplace, and can foster innovation at the local level and can be tailored to particular communities.
Okay, I get it. I see what he’s saying here. Am I offended by it? No, absolutely not. In fact, I don’t see how this is any different than the things we have all heard him say since he started campaigning for president back in 2007 or so. Don’t you remember back in 2008 when he told Joe the Plumber that we need to “spread the wealth around”? How is that any different than “I actually believe in redistribution”? Isn’t that the same fucking thing? Well yes it is, other than the fact that this newly revealed quote is over a decade old! Fucking hell, I was saying stupid shit like that too back in the late 90′s. Does the fact that I was a socialist shitcock in 1998 prove anything about my agenda in 2012? Certainly not!
Now I am not saying that Obama has changed, I don’t know what’s in the guy’s heart but neither does Mitt Romney, Fox News, Rush Limbaugh or anyone else for that matter. This whole issue is moot, it’s a bullshit distraction and it’s a sad attempt by the righties to throw something negative out there to divert attention away from Romney’s ill-spoken “47 percent” comment. I mean, they really had to go back that far to get a comment from Obama that is already on par with the shit he has been saying all along? Not that the left is much better but it is shit like this that makes those on the right look like goddamned buffoons! From the standpoint of someone outside of both parties, I just shake my head in disgust over these bullshit games that they are playing. Can we talk about the real issues? No? I didn’t think so.
So to distract from the “47 percent” distraction, we are given this distraction. The political game is just distraction after distraction where the real issues get brushed to the side and we end up dealing with an unending array of “he said this, he said that” nonsense. That’s all the Republican and Democratic National Conventions were for. Both events should be renamed the “Fuck That Other Guy Convention” because once you look at this for what it truly is, that’s all you can get out of it. There’s no substance or anything of merit that any of these people say and even if the rhetoric sounds good, when they aren’t bashing each other, their actions will just be awful. And since their actions and their track records have already been awful, they’ve evaded dealing with it by throwing up smoke and mirrors. Neither of these guys are running a solid campaign, instead they are running cheap pay-as-you-go beginner-level night classes at the local magicians’ academy.
When everything, and I mean everything, is either negative or a distraction, what are you left with? There is no positive message for the future, other than their pandering soulless bullshit, because neither of these cockgoblins are accepting their accountability for their past mistakes, let alone admitting that they made any and what they may have learned from those failures. Because really, what have either of these guys learned? Obama gave himself a letter grade of “incomplete”, which actually counts as failing in all the schools I’ve been too. Romney? Well, Romney still makes excuses for RomneyCare and refuses to just come out and admit that it was a mistake that opened a horrendous can of worms that has fucked the entire nation. Hell, Romney should condemn RomneyCare, say that he learned that he was wrong and that his new knowledge on the subject is the reason as to why he is so dedicated to unravel the ObamaCare tyranny quilt. But no, Romney wants to “Repeal & Replace”, remember? None of us should forget this point because it could bite us in the ass really fucking hard!
Now Romney wasn’t heavy on the attack ads, as Obama has been, and conservatives, as well as myself, have wanted Romney to step up but ultimately, there is a right way of doing it and a wrong way. Romney cant do it the right way however. He can’t throw out the real facts that paint Obama as a tyrannical dickbag because doing so would cause him to have to admit that those things are wrong. Why can’t he admit that they’re wrong? Well, many of the issues he could pin on Barry could be pinned on him as well: health care, welfare, warfare, spending, etc. There is such a thing as throwing shit at each other but you never want to be scooping the shit from the same pile and honestly, there is really just one shit pile to dig into in this race.
And that is why we have this need for smoke and mirrors. Neither candidate can run on their real record and they know this and even though they can bash the shit out of each other, they are both guilty of the same tyrannies and both suffering from the same sort of madness. Nothing is sadder than seeing Romney sit there like an idiot while he takes the attacks that he’s taken but at the same time, a lot of it is justified and at least he is fighting back now, even if it is poorly and pettily and a bit too late. Unfortunately, Romney’s attempts at retribution remind me of this kid I knew. His girlfriend cheated on him – in front of him. So what did he do? He went to her house when she wasn’t home and cut the screen outside her kitchen window. That my friends, is Mitt Romney.
So let’s continue to watch these nitwit ninnies slap fight with each other, as both tell “white lies” about their own records. Of course, this is when they aren’t too busy playing excrement dodgeball with each other. The debates are just around the corner now, so we can all be assured that the temperature is going to rise and the smoke and mirrors will be out in full magical effect. I only hope that ex-Republican Gary Johnson can wedge himself into these debates like the bitter ex-magician that tells the audience how to do all the lame tricks: destroying the illusion for generations to come.
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