Anybody But Obama!: The Death of the Tea Party

*Written by Rob Rimes.

Anybody but Obama! That has been the mantra shouted out by Republicans and Tea Partiers all over America for quite some time now. The reality pill that no one on the right is willing to swallow that I myself took a double dose of a few years ago is that the two groups are really just one in the same. Sure, the Tea Party talks a big game and I really wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt.. no, I really did. However, this 2012 election cycle on top of their complete lack of real vigilance after their hollow midterm victory in 2010 has just gone on to prove my worst fears about these “non-partisan” big talking “fiscal” conservative hacks.

So as I type this while sitting at the bar in my favorite local Irish pub, I must reflect on the incident that inspired this article. You see, it was just this past Saturday that my local chapter of the Tea Party decided to hold an event in an effort to celebrate Tax Day. By “celebrate”, I mean bitching and moaning about crazy spending and government waste while trying to sound like true fiscal warriors out to chop off the heads of our big government leviathan. Now I didn’t attend this Tea Party and truth be told, I haven’t gone to one in well over a year because I just don’t see the point in trying to parade around with those who are primarily hypocrites and blind to the fact that their actions have a stark contrast to their rhetoric. Honestly, I’d rather spend my afternoon eating ribs and going to a bar to work on my writing in an effort to really bring forth some change in this country or at least give some ammunition to the hundreds of thousands who read my words regularly. I did witness the latest installment of the angry Anti-Obamanoids however and I can’t not share what I saw and my thoughts on it and the whole Tea Party movement in general at this point.

I tried to blow passed them but I couldn’t help but slow down my car and gawk at the ludicrous display, as I rolled by the event on my way to the local barbecue joint. My how the mighty have fallen in just a short short time. The saddest part, and I can only speak about my local chapter, is it looks like the numbers of participants has dwindled from where it was just two years ago. It was kind of sad actually. In what is a pivotal election year, participation at this rally was nowhere near the magnitude of the monstrous rallies that were spread across America leading up to the 2010 midterm elections. It’s like two-thirds of the Tea Partiers were satisfied enough with the Republicans taking back the House of Representatives that this much bigger election doesn’t even matter. This lack of participation has been apparent in the fact that the number of people voting has been down quite consistently across all the primaries from just four years ago when Obama bitchslapped McCain and his Alaskan parrot.

Then again, maybe those two-thirds that seem to be missing are of a much smarter stock and have decided to abandon the hopeless Tea Party crusade as I have. Maybe, just maybe, they see the forest for the trees and understand that this “Anybody but Obama!” mantra is complete and utter bullshit! Yes, Obama is shit as president and this isn’t in any way being written in defense of him but to think that anyone could just walk onto the job and do better is fucking moronic and completely careless. It just goes to show how clueless a lot of these damn dolts are. The fact that the roadside was decorated with Mitt Romney signs further proves my point.

You see, even just a few months ago, these Tea Party people – while screaming, “Anybody but Obama!” – were adamantly opposed to Mitt Romney. These tea-sippin’ geniuses clung onto every other candidate that wasn’t Romney in an effort to get someone to the top of the heap. Then again, for the most part, the vast majority of the Tea Partiers didn’t give Ron Paul a real shot at the top. Everyone else got their day though: Rick Perry, Michele Bachmann, Herman Cain, Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum. Hell, even Jon Huntsman gained some key delegates early in the voting process. However, during this long and arduous game of pass the hot potato, no one gave it to the only guy who actually practices what these hypocritical hobbits preach. Again, as I’ve pointed this out countless times, Dr. Paul gave birth to the Tea Party but the group that exists now is just the Tea Party In Name Only. So I guess “Anybody but Obama!” doesn’t include the only guy who could statistically beat Obama. This is why Republicans continue to fail and why the Tea Party is deader than shit.

These people don’t want a real solution to the things that they bitch and complain about. What they want is for a Republican victory over the Democratic led progressive machine. I guess the fact that the guy that all these anti-Obamanoids are now rallying around is also a progressive doesn’t really seem to matter. You see, these people are the establishment and they are a part of the problem. Their goal is soulless and their aim is bullshit. Now that the smoke is starting to clear, these people are lining up behind Mitt Romney, the guy they all talked shit about for years. The same guy who provided the model for Obamacare in Romneycare. You know, Obamacare – the issue that got these people so up in arms just 24 months ago!

So why do they now support this guy? Because the Tea Party has been co-opted and taken over by sheep and shepherds who don’t understand that they are really just sheep as well. These people, who are typically glued to the O’Reilly Factor and Rush Limbaugh day-to-fucking-day, don’t have the aptitude for politics that they believe they do. They’re malleable idiots being shaped and formed by the pontificating jackturds who speak to them from the other side of a speaker or screen where the words they utter are manufactured by a sinister agenda fueled by corporatist pigs and an unrelenting all-too-powerful two party system. This isn’t conspiracy theorist lunacy, it is facts – plain and simple. To deny it only solidifies your ignorance. To not question everything and educate yourself just shows that you give way too much trust over to people you do not know who only have their own best interests at heart. And this just really goes back to my earlier comment about the Tea Party’s complete lack of real vigilance.

If the Tea Party was as vigilant as they claimed they were and if they stood for the principles plastered across their signs, they’d have already put several of their heroes’ feet to the fire. I don’t have to look much further than my own state of Florida to give examples of Tea Party sweethearts who have proven to be nothing more than progressive neocon establishment bitches. Marco Rubio, a senator from Florida who many Tea Partiers want to run alongside Romney, has been fiscally irresponsible, supported unconstitutional war, tried to limit the freedom of speech, supported pro-police state legislation across the board and committed many other heinous acts that should completely disqualify him from being a Tea Party superstar. Allen West, a Florida congressman, has also voted almost consistently in-line with Rubio while sitting on the House side of Congress. Then there’s Michele Bachmann, who is just a complete mess and a retched dingbat, as well as Herman Cain who proved that giving deals on pizza toppings doesn’t make you knowledgeable enough to become president. The long list of Tea Party politicians that stormed the steps of Congress two years ago have gone on to perpetuate the madness they ran against while still gaining the approval of the intellectually lazy Tea Party majority.

As I drove by the event this past Saturday, I did notice a few young people holding up a giant Ron Paul banner. Those kids get my respect and at least there are a few sane people left in a sea of bad apples. While their valiant effort was dwarfed by the overabundance of Romney propaganda, they did look like the only people there who were actually enjoying themselves. Then again, the ex-soccer moms and their obedient husbands, whose kids are now adults and moved out of the house, did show a wee bit of energy waving their “Anybody but Obama!” signs from the comfort of their overpriced and overly-stylized lawn chairs. They probably don’t want to overexert themselves like the three youngsters with the Ron Paul banner however, as their senior entitlements may soon run dry. Who’s fault is that really?

I understand that there are people, some who I am still friends with, that feel it is necessary to play this Tea Party game. The truth is, it’s a waste of time. The real movement is dead and has been dead for quite awhile. Even if it could magically be brought back to its early glory, it would still be associated with the Tea Party name and just like the words “liberal” and “conservative” before it, the name “Tea Party” has been so bastardized and abused that there is no coming back from the shitty abyss it has sunk to. Fuck these giant corporately co-opted groups. It’s time for people to be self-educated, self-starting, self-thinking individuals again and let the bullshit die. Find your own path and don’t be swayed and if you come across those who share your principles and your beliefs, embrace them. Just stay truly vigilant and don’t let them piss all over the dream and leave it a urine-soaked carcass not even worthy of being kicked around for sport. At least the Occupy Wall Street movement had the sense to tell corporate sponsorship to fuck off. With that, they get more respect from me than the Tea Party, who has continually compromised their principles and values because one really doesn’t have those things when they are just adopted from what some billionaire pundit has dictated to his obedient flock.

If you people were really worried about the state of this country, you’d do something about it. Something real, something that actually mattered! However, that starts with getting off of your asses and doing your own self-educating. And yes, I’m talking to all you people with stacks of books with the names Beck, O’Reilly, Limbaugh, Levin, Savage, Coulter, Ingraham and Hannity scrawled across their spines. Maybe it’s time to trade those in for books with the names Mises, Rothbard, Hazlitt, Hayek, Friedman, Sowell, Rockwell and Paul on them. What’s the worst that could happen? You might actually learn something, gain my respect and be a lot less of a fucking tool.