A few months back I gave you the blog “Five conservative chicks I’d gladly procreate with” (found here). For whatever reason, that is one of my most popular blogs. I’m not sure if it is because of my boasting about my DNA or because the top search terms that draw people to TheSwash are “SE Cupp”, “Diana Falzone Hot”, “Kimberly Guilfoyle” and “Carrie Keagan Breasts”. “Rape” is also a top search result but that takes you here. Anyway, I’m going to once again boast about my superior DNA and present an offer to five more women (in no particular order) who have DNA that is almost as superior as mine. Who are these beautiful and highly impressive lasses? Well my lovelies, read on. However, as stated last blog, I do not really want kids, this is all just for fun. However, I would be willing to sell my superior seed for the right price. We’re talking at least upper eight figures folks. But just imagine being the woman who gets to raise the greatest specimen the world has ever seen, after myself. The bidding starts at noon tomorrow!
The following ladies are not listed in any particular order, they are just my overall top five after my original top five but all are really interchangeable when I think about it.
Megyn Kelly: Ever since Megyn Kelly destroyed liberal idiot Kirsten Powers a few months back, I have been pretty much in love with her. Granted, she was always beautiful and caught my eye but she was not yet worthy enough to make such a list. Once the slaughter of Mrs. Powers was seen by the world, I was sold on the greatness of Megyn Kelly. Seeing her on Fox almost every time I turn the channel on, is a big plus for me, my eyes and my peepee. She’s super hot, super intelligent and has a way with words that can kill the talking points of the world’s best liberal thinkers. Liberal thinker.. heh.. that’s an oxymoron.
Dana Perino: Every time Dana Perino graces my screen, all the sound in the world is overpowered by the sound of Gary Wright’s “Dream Weaver” blaring in my head. The few times a week when she is on Fox & Friends in the early morning before I get ready for work, guarantees that I will have a fantastic and beautiful day. She is the cutest and most adorable woman I have ever seen give or take a few dozen others. I don’t know what she says half the time and that’s not Mrs. Perino’s fault, I just can’t hear her over “Dream Weaver”. Some of my friends have said that she has the most loveliest voice in the whole world and I can’t not believe them. Kudos to you Dana, good luck with your bid.
Andrea Tantaros: This gorgeous lady wasn’t on my radar until recently. Today, she jumped up on my radar screen like never before when she confronted Kelly Bingel on Fox News, who was using her tired liberal “blah blah blah” against conservatives. Andrea served up some serious heat and sent that liberal asstard packing. Ms. Tantaros is sexy, sweet and smart enough to topple the largest liberal towers of lies, deceit and bullshit. She’s quickly climbing up to the top of the mountain of conservative commentators vying for the brass ring of stardom. I think that she’ll be around for a long time and has one of the brightest futures out of all the young up and comers.
Mary Katharine Ham: MKH, as I like to call her, or the Hammer, is one of the sweetest looking lasses on television. She’s the type of chick I’d like to go out for a beer with while watching some college football and eating a fried appetizer sampler at the local sports bar hole-in-the-wall dive. Her segments with Juan Williams are some of the best on the O’Reilly Factor and I look forward to them when they are on the show. She’s well-informed, knows her shizzle and can step up to the plate like the best of them when called upon. MKH, I rarely throw the “M” word around but, if I were going to spend the rest of my life with one person, you’d be a hell of a candidate. It’d be hard for me to deprive the other ladies out there from exploring my greatness, but you may be one of the few who could tame the beast.
Bristol Palin: My oh my, Bristol is my hero. She had a kid out of wedlock before she was an adult and she keeps on giving second chances to that douchebag named after a denim jean company. Bristol honey, forget that loser. I’ve got the seed you need to give birth to the greatest child since myself. Imagine the political powerhouse our two strings of DNA could create! When I first heard that Bristol’s mom was the running mate of Meghan McCain’s dad, my imagination went wild. I had a hard time blocking out the make out sessions in my head, that were most likely going down between Bristol and Meghan on those giant tour busses while their parents were out campaigning. Man, I wish I could’ve been there for that. Call me up Bristol. I’d like to be the meat and cheese in a Bristol/Meghan sandwich. I think I love you. Crap, I take that back! I don’t know the meaning of the word!