*Written by Rob Rimes.
Yesss! This absurd presidential race has finally come close to an official end! Newt Gingrich, like Rick Santorum two weeks prior, has dropped out of the race. It couldn’t have come at a better time for the man who looks like the 60-something version of Chucky the killer Good Guy doll. Considering that Mitt Romney swept five out of five states last night, Newt knew his days were numbered and decided that it was best to step out of the Romney steamroller’s way and to stop embarrassing himself. Don’t get me wrong, I like Newt as a personality and he brought some real fire to this long-winded and nearly endless contest. He was a good contender for the establishment neocons who pretty much dominate the Republican Party and whether you love him or hate him, he would’ve really been a thorn in Obama’s side if they had gotten the chance to debate. Granted, Gingrich like his neocon counterparts wouldn’t be that far off from Obama on most issues but their bouts would have been entertaining nonetheless and there most assuredly would’ve been a lot of low blows, illegal headbutts and busted faces. That’s a dream match us boxing fans won’t get to see.
Now with the man named after a slimy amphibious lizard creature out of the way, this is truly a two-man race now. Dr. Ron Paul still refuses to go away quietly and thank fuck for that. Frankly, Dr. Paul is going to now soak up all the delegates Mitt Romney has missed on his quest for the American throne. Can Paul win? Not at this point but his strategy of delegate collecting is working. I was doubtful about it but he outlasted everyone but the dominate frontrunner and now has the opportunity to excel further in an effort to take his message of liberty to an even higher level.
Unfortunately for Ron Paul, I don’t think that the media gives a shit (surprise! surprise!) and the people just aren’t listening. The Tea Party isn’t really partying anymore and even if they still gave two shits, they’re brains have been replaced with neocon-flavored slushy. The anti-Romney non-party-affiliated Tea Party is now unified behind the Republican Party candidate. Personally, I am fine with that though, us true Dr. Paul supporters saw that ship sinking as soon as Sarah Palin showed up to the party and spiked the tea. I’ve already tackled most of these points however and it should be apparent to everyone that the Tea Party has pretty much always been the Republicans’ grassroots machine even though it claimed vehemently that it wasn’t. What’s that old saying? Oh yes, “The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was to convince the world he didn’t exist.” Well, the greatest trick the Tea Party ever pulled was to convince its members that they weren’t establishment Republican sheep. It doesn’t matter though, they don’t care either way whether they’ve been fully exposed or not. Honestly, even if they were down with the rhetoric they espoused, they still weren’t hardcore enough for me. As far as I am concerned, fuck’m all – bring the anarchy! Why wait for the shit to really hit the fan, let’s tear shit up now and get to rebuilding. It’s time to tear this elephant-sized band-aid the fuck off!
Sorry, I’m just completely fucking disgusted and tired of waiting for America’s slow death.
So this is where we are at. He have Romney and Obama going head-to-head with Paul and Johnson somewhere off to the side trying to remind us all why we are completely fucked. Romney’s wins in Connecticut, Delaware, New York, Pennsylvania and Rhode Island were just five more bitter nails in the coffin that is sealing away liberty, freedom and prosperity. Mr. Romney and Mr. Obama are just standing there with shovels waiting to start burying the American Dream under six feet of worm-filled dirt. If that doesn’t anger you and make you wake up to the fact that we are going to lose big this year, then you are one of the bumbling fools that handed them the shovels to begin with.
Now Newt Gingrich, who was one of the half dozen or so anti-Romney candidates that really isn’t all that different from Ol’ Mittens, has now come out and endorsed the man who was his rival over the last ten-to-twelve months. Newtie Booty told the GOP faithful that it is time for the party to unite and stand strong behind Mitt Romney so that “Anybody but Obama” can take the White House in November. I love how all the establishment candidates who were the Tea Party’s antithesis to the other establishment candidate are all out supporting him now. Well, all of them other than Rick Santorum who is still swimming in a sea of his own infantile tears and anal juice because he just can’t stop licking his baby bitch wounds. That man couldn’t fade into obscurity any faster. Hopefully he never returns to the fold and I can one day laugh when VH1 features him on an episode of the future show “I Love the 10′s”.
Back to Newt. He’s gone, the world is better off and now he can sign whatever big contract he wants to star on whatever large mainstream media outlet that will compete for his services. He’s too charismatic and sharp to just disappear and I’m sure we will see the man on our screens for years to come. Honestly, I am fine with that. I don’t agree with him on a great many things but I don’t find him offensive or stupid, as I find most of the other GOPers who have already fallen like a herd of fainting goats. I honestly wish Newt the best and I like him being in the public eye. I once really disliked the man but he was a great debater and if there is any truth to how he feels about the Federal Reserve, he can’t be all awful, right?
Then again, there are a hell of a lot more negatives than positives with this guy, so fuck everything I just said. Fuck Newt, fuck Romney and fuck the establishment for once again turning their backs on the one guy who could get us out of this mess and actually beat President Obama. It’s been a long race thus far but we’re finally on the last leg of this marathon.
Now we’re left with Godzilla versus King Kong. Whoever destroys America first is the winner!
1 Comment
Perfect ending