Mr. Obama, boy oh boy have you let down the country with your complete apathy in handling this oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. I’m not sure why they call it an oil spill though, as it isn’t spilling, it’s more or less an underwater volcano spewing oil instead of magma. Maybe they should call it an “oilcano”? Anyway, that’s beside the point.
El Presidente, the man not the beer, has seemingly been a ghost the last several weeks, apart from his homo erotic public sex romp with Mexican president, Felipe “El Hefe” Calderón. Obama-san has actually been nearly invisible from the media since last June or July, when he last held a public press conference. Obama hasn’t had a single REAL press conference since then. What was promised to be the “most transparent administration in history” has really just presented itself as the biggest club of elite dickbags to ever set up shop on American soil.
Why does Obama fear the press? Maybe it’s because he is all about doing what is best for his large socialist agenda and not what is best for the people. God forbid he has to answer for the sins he’s committing so blatantly. Maybe his lies are so obvious that he can no longer devise big enough lies to cover up his inexperienced and radical follies. Well, at least Barry O has the liberal media on his side. At least they are still blind sheep: pimping his agenda and fluffing his staff with the vigorous rigor of an 18 year-old “gay-for-pay” porn star in the making.
Wait.. what do you mean that the liberal media is turning on their Jedi Master? I thought Obama Wan Kenobi was their only hope? Well folks, the tables could be turning.
Due to Obama’s shitty handling of the worst ecological disaster in U.S. history, it seems that liberals are now in an uproar too (well, except for that ass clown Bob Beckel). Liberal mouthpiece, Chris Matthews just had liberal madman James “Gollum” Carville on his show and some other chick that I can’t remember. Anyway, they were seemingly hellapissed that Obama isn’t doing dick about the oilcano. They seemed more dumbfounded than anything though, as their liberal vernaculars couldn’t process the fact that their Donkey Jesus isn’t really a card carrying member of the Green Church. Speaking of which, where the fuck is Pope Gore in all this?!?!
The MSNBC screen stealers weren’t the only people pissed and/or confused. ABC has had a few choice words for the president, albeit carefully selected ones. James Carville also came out on CNN’s Anderson Cooper 360 to speak his mind. To quote Carville, “I think they actually believe that BP has some kind of a good motivation here. They’re naive! BP is trying to save money, save everything they can… They won’t tell us anything, and oddly enough, the government seems to be going along with it! Somebody has got to, like shake them and say, ‘These people don’t wish you well! They’re going to take you down!’”
None of this bodes well for the presidential election of 2012. Unless, of course, Obama takes credit for some third party miracle. Although, I doubt that a miracle will happen and we’ll probably have oil spewing out for years to come. Instead of leaving the Florida Gulf Coast, I am going to stay and invent pollution tourism. “Come on down to Florida! Bring the kids! Teach them about what pollution can do to the wildlife, the oceans and beautiful coastlines due to carelessness! It’ll be the educational trip of a lifetime!” Dude, I’m so gonna bank! “Free oil covered turtles for everyone! Take our submersible vehicle, the Nautilus, underwater and snap some shots of you and the kids in front of the oilcano! Just beware of the new breed of mutant man-eating manatees that patrol the area now!”
Good job Obizzle! Apathy is the way to go! Preying on the politically apathetic is what won you the American throne isn’t it? You should be quite familiar with apathy in all it’s forms now.
In the end, wishful thinking is nice but it’s only a matter of time before this liberal shitfit passes over and they start worshipping their Lord and Savior again. It’s just a test of their faith; they’ll pull through and revert back to their mindless idol worship. Gotta love’m, watching hardcore liberals is like watching a retard get high on his own tub farts.