It’s been a little while since I’ve added to TheSwash.com’s illustrious “Breakfast Hall of Fame”. With six awesome items making it in within the first two rounds, I figured that that just wasn’t enough breakfast food to titillate my senses. I need to add a bit more to the menu. This thing needs to be beefed up. Those ignorant to breakfast and all its greatness need to be provided with more choices. I will be the provider of those choices, I will be your guide, I will give you the keys to the multiverse of breakfast foods! So without further ado, I give you, the public, the third round of TheSwash’s “Breakfast Hall of Fame”!
EGGS BENEDICT: Quite literally the Holy Grail of breakfast food, it is often said that this was what Jesus himself ate on most mornings before making shelves and tables. The combination of the poached egg, ham (or Canadian bacon), English muffin and Hollandaise sauce is what gave Christ the power to perform miracles, never mind that God DNA that was inside him. This is one of my top go-to items for breakfast. It can be prepared in various different ways. I once had a variation that was made with potato pancakes instead of English muffins and it was glorious. Perkins makes a pretty killer eggs benedict and it is the best thing on their menu. If you want to hold it down Messiah style with your God complex, than this is definitely the breakfast food for you.
BREAKFAST SAUSAGE: Breakfast sausage can come in several different ways. There are links, patties, crumbled varieties and even more types than that. Hell, it is the main ingredient in sausage gravy. I don’t have much of a preference over links or patties but I tend to go the patty route when given a choice. Bacon is superior because it is much more versatile but just as a breakfast side, sausage may take the cake. The most important food group ever is meat and when it comes to breakfast, this may be your best choice for a quick fix of dead animal on your plate.
CORNED BEEF HASH: Readers of this blog should already know that I am a HUGE fan of corned beef hash. In fact, I wrote a lengthy blog titled, “Corned Beef Hash: a swashbuckler’s protein shake” which can be found here. It was one of my greatest blogs because it was about one of the greatest, if not THE greatest, food item to ever exist. Corned beef hash has magical properties and was once used by witchdoctors in Brazil to heal the wounds of their gods. It’s ridiculously tasty and can even be used to build huts and pretty solid helmets. It is a multi-purpose breakfast tool and completely under-appreciated and underutilized by most common folk. If you haven’t done the dance of death with corned beef hash, then you have never passed the true trials into adulthood and your tribe has failed you.
So here are three more items now in the Breakfast Hall of Fame here at TheSwash. Add these to your list of things to try if you have not tried them. The power that these three breakfast items can give you will help you conquer your enemies and dance on their stupid faces!
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