The Era of Civility

*Written by Rob Rimes.

Lately, talk show hosts, politicians and know-it-all politificionados have been in an uproar over the political rhetoric that is used against one another. These pimps of political correctness and sensitivity are boo-hoo-hooing over the fact that anything that can somehow be related to combat, guns or war simply has no place in political rhetoric. What these tear-soaked turd munchers fail to realize is that we’re a pretty toned down society compared to where we once were. That doesn’t matter to them though because they don’t really study history, they just blow unjustified and inaccurate claims out of their tired lame rosy asses. They are calling for an “era of civility” just like in the days of yesteryear. It’s time to man up and face reality kiddies!

Introduction:

The Giffords shooting brought all of this out into the forefront. Every libtard maroon from the Beltway to Dagobah was in a bitch and rant session about how evil Sarah Palin was for having crosshairs on her website, even though liberal campaign king Bob Beckel admitted to inventing the crosshairs imagery for “targeting” districts back in the 1990′s. Of course the liberal websites that used that symbolism are not under fire because it is the conservative side of the line that is evil. Never mind that the fucking kid was a psycho shitbag that didn’t even have a real political ideology that made a lick of sense. But the conservatives are to blame because liberals are perfect. I’m a libertarian by the way, but libsnots lump us in with the conservatives because they don’t pay attention to anything other than making unicorns with their own poop.

Anyway, my rhetoric here is salty, I hope I’m not “shooting” myself in the foot already. I wouldn’t want to prematurely go to “war” with anyone who may have me in their “sights” before I can fully “hit” my point with the accuracy of a “sharpshooter”. I don’t want to get involved in a “crossfire” debate or anything over my rhetoric. I’m trying to tone it down here without “taking shots” at anyone specific, as I don’t want that to be interpreted into my calling for violence against a specific “target”. I think I’m failing at this already. Maybe I should “reload” and start over. Shit, I can’t get away from it!

Point is, this talk of how people should talk is fucking retarded. I’m not talking Leo DiCaprio in ‘Gilbert Grape’ retarded, I’m talking all out completely redonkulous people that listen to Black Eyed Peas retarded! Get the fuck over it homies and move on! Stop pointing the finger at everyone other than the dude that did the evil deed. Jared Loughner is responsible for the shooting not Sarah fucking Palin and Glenn assclown Beck! Muthafuckas is always looking for someone to blame besides the one who is to blame.

Now apart from my four paragraph rant, I want to show these libsicles why we are much more civilized than previous eras in this country. We aren’t on a path towards destruction in regards to our language, symbolism and expression. If anything, we’ve come a hell of a long fucking way than where we were in the days of our Founding Fathers. You think those cats were civil? Well then you must be smoking angeldust and rubbing heroin on your gums. Let me tell you about a crazy muthafucka named Aaron Burr, who was one of our many Founding Fathers.

The Burr-Hamilton Duel:

Aaron Burr was insane. He was also the vice president under Thomas Jefferson back in the day. It is assumed by the political left of today that everything was cool, calm and kosher back in those times. Violent rhetoric couldn’t even be conceived in the era of our Founding Fathers. They were men of class, prestige and respect. Their debates and discussions were cordial affairs. Well, the people who are under that assumption must have never heard of the Burr-Hamilton Duel.

In 1804, while Aaron Burr was acting Vice President and Alexander Hamilton, another prominent Founding Father, was Secretary of the Treasury, the two got into a heated debate which led to a violent and life threatening duel. The duel had been born out of years of bitterness between the two and finally came to a head: leaving Alexander Hamilton mortally wounded. In this case, the “Bad” took out the “Good” while the “Ugly” relished in the unnecessary bloodshed.

Aaron Burr didn’t get away with this though, as he was indicted for murder in both New York and New Jersey. The cases were thrown out however but his actions were career suicide. With Hamilton’s blood on his hands, Burr left politics and went into a self-imposed exile until he died over 30 years later.

Now imagine if this happened today? Imagine if John Boehner and Barack Obama pulled out their pistols and shot it out in front of the Capitol Building! Then again, D.C. is full of pacifist pussies and guns aren’t allowed. The point is, this would never happen. We are much more civilized today, despite the left’s claims that we are on the verge of violence. Fuck the boogeyman! Anyway, if you are just brushing off the Burr-Hamilton Duel as an isolated incident, you are dead fucking wrong.

Alexander Hamilton was pretty badass and not really a bitch, even if you perceive him to be after just reading about his defeat at the hands of Aaron Burr. In fact, Hamilton was in over ten duels prior to the one that took his life in 1804. Hamilton had politically fueled duels with William Gordon, Aedanus Burke, James Nicholson, James Monroe (the 5th President) as well as multiple duels with John Francis Mercer. Hamilton even had a handicapped 2-on-1 duel with Ebenezer Purdy and 4th Vice President George Clinton (not the dude from Parliament Funkadelic).

Andrew Jackson and His Pistol:

The 7th POTUS Andrew Jackson was a master of the duel. Hell, he had several and was nearly destroyed in a few. His first highly-publicized duel was against Waightsill Avery, who had insulted him in the courtroom. The two were rival lawyers during a case in North Carolina back in 1788. When they met, the two both shot and missed. They agreed to shake hands and found mutual respect with one another. On that day, tragedy was avoided.

Fifteen years later, Jackson got into it with Tennessee governor John Sevier. Sevier attempted to block Jackson’s attempt at becoming a general in the Tennessee militia. How did Jackson deal with this bullshit bitch tactic? Well, he didn’t draw his gun. Instead, he went public with proof that Sevier had been forging land warrants. Sevier bumrushed the court and drew his cutlass: challenging Jackson to the death. Jackson, acknowledging that the time and place was inappropriate, named Virginia as the location for their eventual duel. Sevier agreed.

The two met before that however in the western Tennessee Indian country. Jackson, brandishing a pistol, confronted John Sevier. The two exchanged violent words, threats and shared a plethora of colorful expletives. Both men calmed down and holstered their weapons. However, Jackson being the pot-stirring swashbuckler that he was, continued to rib Sevier. John Sevier went ape shit and drew his cutlass: ready to cut a piece off of Action Jackson.

Jackson, wasting no time, drew his pistol, as it was quicker and more efficient than a sword. Sevier hightailed it and hid behind a tree. Sevier’s son James then pulled his weapon on Jackson, causing Jackson’s companion Dr. Thomas Vandyke to pull his weapon on James. The four men were heated but were locked in a stalemate. In the end, all men put away their weapons and went their separate ways, promising to meet at a later date. In this case, the duel never happened.

Jackson’s next feud was with Charles Dickinson (not the pussy foot writer). Dickinson and his friend Thomas Swann, both lawyers, accused Jackson of cheating them after a wager at a horse race. Swann confronted Jackson in a tavern in Nashville and was completely embarrassed after Jackson beat him senseless with a cane.

Dickinson, outraged over what happened to his friend, challenged Jackson to a duel that would take place in Kentucky. Dickinson fired first, and was shocked to see Jackson barely flinch when hit. Jackson fired back, striking Dickinson in the abdomen. Dickinson collapsed and died the next day. Jackson went on to be President of the United States with Dickinson’s bullet lodged in his chest, right near his heart!

Politicians facing Jackson throughout his career cited his dueling past as a factor in deeming him unfit to hold office. Jackson’s bad ass reputation preceded him and created a magnificent aura that still shines centuries later. Jackson gave birth to the term BAMF. For those ignorant to what BAMF means, it means Bad Ass Mother Fucker.

The Violent Thwacking of Senator Charles Sumner:

Jackson wasn’t the only politician to cane the shit out of someone. South Carolina Congressman Preston Brooks busted some serious ass when he splintered his cane upside Massachusetts Senator Charles Sumner’s head.

You see, Sumner gave a speech three days prior where he took some stiff shots at Brooks’ relative Senator Andrew Butler. Butler was not around to hear the remarks and therefore couldn’t defend himself and properly counter Sumner’s vicious verbal attack. Sumner compared Butler to Don Quixote for embracing slavery. He also made fun of Butler’s physical handicap.

Outraged, Preston Brooks intended to have a duel with Charles Sumner. After talking it over with Congressman Laurence M. Keitt, Brooks decided against it as a duel was for gentlemen of equal social standing and he perceived Sumner to be beneath him. He considered Sumner to be at the level of a mad drunkard due to his use of coarse rhetoric during his attack on Butler.

Brooks then confronted Sumner on the Senate floor and said, “Mr. Sumner, I have read your speech twice over carefully. It is a libel on South Carolina, and Mr. Butler, who is a relative of mine.” As Sumner attempted to get to his feet, Brooks went gangsta on his ass and beat him hard with his thick gutta-percha walking cane! Sumner was trapped under a heavy desk that was bolted to the floor and Brooks continued to beat him like an ignorant hoe. The violent strikes eventually broke the desk into pieces. Sumner got up and tried to get away but was blinded by blood in his eyes. Brooks kept on attacking and Sumner collapsed, lapsing into unconsciousness. This didn’t stop Brooks! He continued to beat the comatose Sumner until his cane shattered! Once the cane broke, Brooks calmly left the Senate chamber.

Several other senators attempted to stop the beating and save Sumner but they were held back by Congressman Keitt who was brandishing a pistol while yelling, “Let them be!” Keitt’s involvement ended his career. He was censured for his actions.

Sumner couldn’t serve his district for three years as it took him that long to recover from the attack. Once returning to duty though, he became known as one of the most radical Republicans during the Civil War and Reconstruction eras.

As for Brooks, his home state South Carolina sent him dozens of brand new canes inscribed with the words “Good job.” The Richmond Enquirer published these words after the attack:

We consider the act good in conception, better in execution, and best of all in consequences. These vulgar abolitionists in the Senate must be lashed into submission.

Imagine if that happened between Harry Reid and Mitch McConnell today. It wouldn’t. Yet the mainstream media wants you to think we’re entering the most violent era in political history. It’s all balderdash!

Other Violent Political Conflicts in the Pre-Civil War Era:

The many duels of Hamilton and Jackson as well as the infamous thwacking were not the only times that violence through rhetoric appeared in American political history. So I am going to run through some other incidents as well.

In 1788, officials tried to jail Anti-Federalists protestors who were parading around with effigies of America’s top Federalists. Close by, 8 men died in what was described as, “a battle between advocates and opponents of the Constitution.” Following this the heated rhetoric escalated and added fuel to the fire of already existing animosities between the two groups. While tempers flared and both sides called for civil war, they were able to prevent any further bloodshed.

In 1790, George Washington, the father of our country, used what some would deem as violent rhetoric when in his first annual address to Congress he stated, “To be prepared for war is one of the most effectual means of preserving peace.” Imagine if Bush II: The Secret of the Ooze had said those very words. Well he kind of did in his own weird fashion with a few Bushisms sprinkled in and the liberal media went ape-fucking-shit!

In 1811, stemming from the American Revolution there was a Haitian uprising in the Louisiana Territory, particularly in New Orleans. Haitian relations with the French in Louisiana created a wide rift between the two parties and a very bloody revolt was born; it was called the German Coast Uprising. The influence of American culture and the nation’s newfound independence led the slaves to take up arms against their French oppressors. Armed with just garden tools, more than 80 of the slaves were killed while only 2 French solders met their demise.

In 1816, Parson Weems, most famously known for writing the apocryphal George Washington legend about the cherry tree, published a pamphlet: “The Devil in Petticoats, Or God’s Revenge Against Husband Killing”. Being an author of political folklore and alternate history, Wemms’ violent work was quite a departure from the norm. The pamphlet’s violent rhetoric started as soon as it opened. The first lines read:

Oh mercy! What! Old Edgefield again! Another murder in Old Edgefield!…Well, the Lord have mercy upon Old Edgefield! For sure it must be Pandemonium itself, a very district of Devils!

That certainly was a departure from his works about George Washington, Ben Franklin, General Francis Marion and William Penn. In his violent horror story about Old Edgefield, a woman takes an axe to her husband’s head. Imagine if Ann Coulter wrote that. Actually, never mind, that could make me want to read her books now.

In 1829, William Lloyd Garrison delivered a speech called the Address to Colonized Society. In it he was very vocal against slavery in America. In that lengthy speech he uttered these infamous lines:

I am ashamed of my country. I am sick of our unmeaning declamation in praise of liberty and equality; of our hypocritical cant about the inalienable [sic] rights of man. I could not for my right hand, stand up before European assembly, and exult that I am an American citizen, and denounce the usurpations of a kingly government as wicked and unjust; or, should I make the attempt, the recollection of my country’s barbarity and despotism would blister my lips, and cover my cheeks with burning blushes of shame.

It’s that part about “burning blushes of shame” that inspired John Brown to act. Brown took the fire in Garrison’s speech and turned it into a literal fire. When he met Frederick Douglas in 1847, Brown reached a major turning point in his life. With the friendship he gained from Douglas and the inspiration he found in Garrison’s speech, Brown went to Kansas with his five sons to defend the anti-slavery town of Lawrence. This incident was known as the Pottawatomie Massacre due to the death of five settlers. Brown then fought against slavery in Missouri for over a year and then went east to build an anti-slavery army.

On October 16th, 1859, John Brown declared war against the United States of America! Brown and his anti-slavery army raided a Federal arsenal in Harpers Ferry, Virginia. During the raid he was easily defeated by the U.S. Army and Robert E. Lee. John Brown was later hung for treason.

As we approach the Civil War era, I’m not even going to get into specifics. I mean, if you don’t know about all the violent rhetoric and bloodshed that took place between the North and South, then you my friend are an uneducated and buffoonish dipshit.

Other Violent Political Conflicts in the Post-Civil War Era:

The Civil War wasn’t the end of violent political rhetoric in America. In the late 1800′s, western expansion apexed with mass violence against Native Americans. The cause of this violent purge against the American Indians was due to the rhetoric of the time which preached nationalism, expansion and superiority over all others. America’s imperialistic actions were born out of the political rhetoric of the day. With military leaders and the public pushing for expansion, this may have been the biggest act of violence committed in America.

In 1883, the violent racial rhetoric of the Democratic Party, whose slogan was “This is a white man’s government!”, caused violence in Danville, Virginia and surrounding areas. The Democrats “drew the white line” and due to the combination of racial rhetoric and racial violence, they were able to regain control of the Virginia state legislature from the Republicans.

In 1886, a rally in support of striking workers became violent in Chicago. This incident was called the Haymarket Massacre. During the demonstration, an unknown person threw a dynamite bomb at police officers which created mass chaos. The bomb blast as well as the police firing on the crowd took the lives of many civilians. 8 police officers also died, mostly due to friendly fire. The cause of the event is still debated today but one cannot turn away from the fact that the divide between the two conflicting parties was full of immense anger and distrust. The deeply polarized views of both sides of the conflict, the working class and the business owners, were the catalyst of this controversial event. 8 anarchists were arrested and tried for murder after the event.

In 1919, violence once again was born from rhetoric in Cleveland, Ohio. One person was killed, 40 were injured and 125 were arrested at a “Red May Day” demonstration. Communists, socialists, Bolsheviks and anarchists united in what was a violent blemish on Cleveland’s history. The demonstration was against A. Mitchell Palmer who was the United States Attorney General. Palmer, at that time, had been leading a sweep against aliens that forced the deportation of what he called the “undesirables”. I’m sure their violent bullshit helped their case.

In 1946, violent racial rhetoric was the cause of the deaths of George and Mae Murray Dorsey as well as Roger and Dorothy Malcom in Monroe, Georgia. The racially charged Jim Crow South was incredibly rife with racial hatred, especially in its politics. That year the gubernatorial race, which saw Democratic candidate Eugene Talmadge get elected for the 4th time (although he died before assuming office again), stirred up racial controversy at unprecedented levels. Talmadge’s “racist rhetoric” and ”fiery oratory”, as described by Georgia State Rep. Tyrone Brooks, was on display in Monroe, Georgia, as he stopped there on his campaign tour, shortly before the murders and just after a fight where a black sharecropper had stabbed and injured a white farmer. His “fiery” rhetoric added to an already tense situation.

In the 1960′s, violent rhetoric was running rampant, probably more so than in any other decade in American history. The assassination of Malcolm X was fueled by heated racial rhetoric after Malcolm himself left the Nation of Islam after becoming disenchanted and uncomfortable with their racially charged message. Martin Luther King Jr.’s assassination was also caused by violent racial rhetoric. President John F. Kennedy, whose assassination has become clouded with endless conspiracy theories, was also killed due to the supposed rhetoric that affected Lee Harvey Oswald (if you believe the official reports, which I don’t by the way). Senator Robert F. Kennedy was also assassinated in the 1960′s. His death was at the hands of Sirhan Sirhan, who had written journals explaining that he had to murder RFK because of his support of Israel. Sirhan Sirhan, being a Palestinian may or may not have been inspired by the political rhetoric of the time but even to this day, many people still believe that Israel belongs to the Palestinians and heated debates quickly turn into violence over the subject.

Conclusion:

The point is, I could go on and on with endless examples. History is full of violent incidents that were inspired by the political rhetoric of their day. It’s easy to look at the circumstances around an incident and to quickly point the finger of blame at some x-factor that may have contributed or not. However, in doing this you are just absolving the person who committed the crime from the crime. This makes you a fucking moron and an asshole. Blaming the rhetoric is absolutely beyond a shadow of a doubt insane and fucking ludicrous! That’s like blaming Ice-T for inspiring a serial cop killer. Oh wait.. bad example, you fucknuts did blame Ice-T for that very thing. Well then it’s like blaming Marilyn Manson for Columbine. Fuck me, I forgot that you did that too! Damn, the mainstream media is always looking to blame someone other than the criminal. Man, do we live in a sad ass country or what?

So with the vast majority of you mainstream media morons calling for a return to “civility”, I have to ask what exactly you mean by “return”. You want to champion in a new era of civility like the supposed days of old where political rhetoric wasn’t so heated that our society was free of violence and psychos. News flash dumbsacks, a time like that has never fucking existed! We’ve been a nation of polarized ideals and heated rhetoric ever since we kicked the British the fuck out! Actually, I’m sure we were this way even before then. Shit, the House of Burgesses got mad heated back in the day!

It’s time to stop trying to be politically correct pussies and come back to reality. Reality isn’t fucking civil. The great thing about this country is we can debate, we can argue and we can shout out our philosophy. I wouldn’t want it any other way. We’ve got to stop acting like little bitches who think that we should tone it down because some psycho shitbag will go on a rampage. Truth is, no matter what happens and what is said, psycho shitbags will eventually go on rampages. They are psycho shitbags, not responsible and reasonable people! I guess common sense is in short supply these days. Man up motherfuckers and stop sippin’ that bitch juice.