The Diseased Naysayers

*Written by Rob Rimes.

I swear, I just can’t get away from writing about the Republican primary. It’s as if it has fucking possessed me and left me ignorant of all other current events and newsworthy tidbits that could use the benefit of my unique critique. I should really be looking into and writing about the whole SOPA tyranny that is going on right now. Whatever, I’m focused on these goddamned Iowa caucuses, as they are just a few days away and they are, as I’ve said in several pieces I’ve written, an extremely pivotal stop on the campaign trail. Besides, all these bourbon fueled rants the last few days have been pretty brief.

Now I’ve spent my last few articles breaking down the establishment’s attempts at discrediting Ron Paul as well as planting the seeds that the Iowa caucuses might be compromised if Paul were to win. Well, I figured I would have to also write about the end results of these tactics, that being the effect this is having on the brains of the morons who take everything these heinous talking heads say to heart. You know, the people who can only form their opinion after Bill O’Reilly, Rush Limbaugh or some other intellectually lazy windbag has expressed their faux distaste over whatever it is that will help drive up their ratings if they rant about it.

I was sitting in a local Irish pub, not even an hour ago, enjoying some Irish whiskey, a tall pint of Boddington’s Pub Ale as well as one of the greatest bacon cheeseburgers a man can buy in southwest Florida. Unfortunately, my excursion into utter ecstasy was thwarted by five know-it-all bastards in Brooks Brothers jackets wearing “Vote GOP” pins on their lapels. You know the type, just your typical Republican fat cat whales that make stereotypes hard to ignore and hold the entire party back because they always remind people that this breed of neocon beast will always be pulling the strings regardless of what seems to be influencing the political climate at the moment.

Now these idiots aren’t the sort of GOPers that actually call shots and live up to the hype of looking like they are some sort of campaign boss for some sort of Richard Nixon wannabe pretending he’s Ronald Reagan trying to run for a state congressional seat. No, these are the guys that want to be those guys. These guys know jack shit about politics, other than what has been vomited in their direction so many times that some sort of idea about something has seeped into their jellyfish brains simply because of repetition. These are the worst kind of establishment sycophants and unfortunately there are more of them than people that are actually independent thinkers. This is why the super-pundits can get away with spreading around so much bullshit because there are too many people that are unable to see through it and think for themselves. We’re in a shit load of fucking trouble when people are so goddamned daft that they can be so easily duped by some spastic assclown simply for the fact that they are on the television or the radio spewing their laughable madness.

So anyway, these jackturds at the bar were sitting there, watching Megyn Kelly on Fox News talk about the caucuses. Megyn didn’t say anything that would’ve set these douches off but out of nowhere, one of these slimes started going off about Ron Paul. Now this guy was pretty much yelling at the top of his lungs at anyone that was within earshot and maybe even just a little further. He was slamming Paul and really, just restating what his heroes have been spitting at him again and again throughout the election, especially the last week or so. After his ten minute tirade of bullshit against Paul he then shouted this statement: “The only people that can save us now are Donald Trump and Newt Gingrich!”

The better part of me wanted to just sit there and not say anything, then there is that other part of me, that very opinionated infantile part, that feels that if you are bludgeoning everyone in the room over the head with your asshole argument then you deserve to be castrated and slapped across the face with your mangled nuts. I chose the infantile approach and let this douchebag have it. The other four shitbags that were cheering this moron on, immediately shut the fuck up and just stared down at their drinks: fucking chumps.

I explained to the guy, albeit in a very calm calculated way, how he was wrong about Paul. The guy got incredibly hostile and basically insulted me and called me a “racist” and a “bigot” for supporting Paul. This same guy referred to Herman Cain as a “know-nothing nigger” five minutes earlier. In retrospect, it is this guy’s bigotry that probably really set me off more than than his general idiocy in regards to Ron Paul, foreign policy and economics. Truth be told, I really hate even typing the n-word but as shocking as it may have been for you to read it, imagine how shocking it was to hear shouted out in a bar full of patrons just trying to enjoy their lunch. So yeah, I’m the racist one in the conversation.

The guy went on to call me a “fucking idiot” and a “moron” and insulted me over and over without any type of real discussion on the issue at hand. This asshole could not defend himself against my logical and reasonable argument, backed by facts and knowledge. All he could do is throw a tantrum and go ape shit, further making himself look like a madman. It got to the point when his troupe of joiners had looks of mortified terror colorfully painted across their faces. The asshole lost his audience but all that did was anger him more. In fact, two of his four homies threw cash on the bar and walked out. Hopefully they have the wherewithal to recognize this guy’s idiocy and maybe, just maybe, they might have heard some of my argument and been swayed towards reality. Probably not though, I think they were just scared of the raised voices and heated rhetoric. Cockroaches run when you light up the room.

Before things got even crazier, the cook came out from the back, walked over and told the guy that he had to leave immediately. He told him that there would be no racist remarks and shouting in his bar. The guy resisted and the large Irishman clamped down on the bastard’s arm and neck, dragging him outside like a child about to be spanked. The bartender walked over to me, gave me some props and poured me a Guinness. I drank the beverage, paid for my burger and booze and left the bar.

Like a story with a perfect ending, I pulled out of the parking lot and noticed an accident just up the street. As I approached slowly, due to everyone in front of me breaking their necks trying to see some sort of carnage only to be disappointed, I noticed that there was a guy hunched over the trunk of a police car being handcuffed. When the cops pulled the guy up, it was the damn bigoted bastard who was yelling in the bar! I don’t know if he caused the accident and got unruly with the cops or whomever but he was being taken to jail. We made eye contact as I was passing in my car and the dipshit flipped out and started spitting on the window of the squad car from the inside. I’m sure, seeing as that he had four beverages within the previous hour, he probably got a DUI. At the end of the day, at least this piece of crap is off the streets.. for tonight anyway.

Now I am not saying that this guy sums up everyone that listens to the mainstream anti-mainstream media and takes all their words to heart but he is definitely not the first prick of this sort I have come across. Hell, they’ve been coming out of the woodwork the last few weeks and frankly, I’m tired of these uninformed snakes that are so sure that they “get it” when they are so far from reality that they might as well be riding unicorns and smoking pixie dust out of goblin skulls. I’ve actually done that once but it was brought on by an overindulgence of psilocybin and some really old quaaludes. It also didn’t help that I was rubbing oven cleaner on my gums.

This wasn’t written to discredit anyone with a different opinion than my own, in fact I love a nice healthy debate – especially ones where I learn something and can see something from a different view. This definitely wasn’t that sort of debate. Hell, it wasn’t a debate. With this, I just wanted to share my personal experience in dealing with a militant shithead because as I’ve said, they are everywhere right now. The worst part about this guy is that he kept referring to himself as a “constitutional conservative”. I have come to learn that that description of one’s self has been co-opted by doublethinking dimwitted cretins who actually believe that the Constitution somehow supports the ideas and principles that they moronically and wholeheartedly believe in.

Get away from groups and people telling you how you are supposed to think, stop being too busy to read a book and most importantly start thinking for yourself based off of the knowledge you gain through your travels, not the “knowledge” spoon-fed to you by these wicked trolls that benefit the most from the country being in shambles.

Wake up America.. or don’t. Either way it is probably too late.