I have to admit, I needed to sleep off the effects of that ludicrous display last night. I was pretty pissed off and justifiably so while writing my instant critique of the Iowa caucuses. Yes, I am still incredibly irate over the fact that Mitt Romney won and Rick Santorum came in second: just 8 votes behind Mitt. Ron Paul did come in third and realistically, no matter what the mainstream morons try to tell you, his efforts paid off and were still a big success. The fact of the matter is, Ron Paul was a winner simply for the fact that he more than doubled his vote tally from 2008 and he captured an equal number if delegates as Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum. Also, out of all the candidates, he gave the best speech by far after the caucuses wrapped up and if it didn’t fire people up, they have no soul.

Now looking at the big picture, the results of this event may sway and influence many people but in the end, Rick Santorum is going to fall. He is a mess of a human being and on social issues alone he is practically a goddamned Nazi. Yes, that is an extreme example but considering he wants to blow up every country that is dissatisfied with us and wants to shove gays in gas chambers, I don’t think it is too far of a stretch. As I said in my piece last night, I’m going to have to write an article on the guy very soon. Before I do that though, I’d just like to point out that he has been labeled the “most corrupt member of Congress” by several different watchdog groups throughout the years. There’s a lot more to this dickbag but I’ll save the guts for a later article.

As far as this asshat’s near victory last night went, it only propelled him to the top for right now. In fact, he doesn’t have the financial stability to make it anywhere else but Iowa, as he spent all of his money there. Considering he is polling near the bottom in New Hampshire, which is where the next big pivotal event is, could put his campaign in serious jeopardy. Sure, Ricky boy may be able to ride the wave of his recent success but Romney owns New Hampshire and Ron Paul is not too far behind him. Besides, he has no money left to stay in this fight unless he is able to magically pull a couple million out of his browneye.

Oddly enough, I actually got an e-mail from Rick Santorum’s campaign this morning asking for a donation. I scanned my genitals and e-mailed it to them. Unfortunately, I got a “cannot reply to this address” notification from the tricky bastards. It’s probably for the best. Last thing I need is gay ass Rick Santorum showing up at my condo for a game of naked Twister.

To further add to this weasel’s economic woes, a friend of mine who works on the inside and who has tipped me off to a few things here and there and been accurate, told me that Santorum is over $500,000 in the hole on his campaign in Iowa alone! If that’s the case, this guy is fucked like a fish out of water with a hungry cat looking down at it. One can only hope that this dickhead’s misfortune continues and that people aren’t dumb enough to throw money at him. Then again, 25 percent of Iowans were dumb enough to vote for him. Iowa is fucking weird!

At the other end of the spectrum, crackhead loon Michele Bachmann is finally out of the race! After giving a speech last night that sounded like she was going to keep on moving forward, someone must have gotten in her ear and convinced her to pull the plug. It’s about time this whackjob gets the hell out of this race and stops showering every second of TV time she gets with lame ass catchphrases that we were all tired of hearing her regurgitate over two years ago. This woman’s campaign couldn’t have ended any better and hopefully she can now fade away. That probably won’t happen however, as Fox News likes shoving her down our throat and because of that will probably bring her on to give her “expert” analysis on the rest of the election. Why do they always consider losers to be the experts on these news shows? Like what the fuck else can she or Herman Cain add to any of this insanity?

In another bit of potential good news, it looks as if Rick Perry is close to pulling out of the race as well. Today he went back to Texas to “reassess” his campaign. Unfortunately, he did tweet that he was going to be heading to South Carolina, which is another pivotal stop that is coming up shortly. If he does make it to that state, he will probably fall even further and then disappear from the race. Romney and Gingrich will be tough to beat in South Carolina and Ron Paul will most assuredly garner more support than Rick Perry.

Now while people are counting Newt as pretty much being out of the race at this point, that really isn’t the case. As I’ve just stated, he could walk into South Carolina and own it. If he can take that state and finish strong in a few others, he may get back to the top of the mountain. He is definitely in a “make it or break it” leg of the race and the next few weeks will certainly determine his fate. Then again, that could be said for any of these candidates right now. We are in the most exciting time of this race!

The one guy who may be the smartest man in the campaign is Jon Huntsman. Even though he isn’t in the spotlight and he sits out certain events, he is conserving his money and his efforts for a more calculated attack. With everyone being overexposed and climbing high and then falling, the door for Jon Huntsman to sneak in and surprise us all is about to open up and the timing could not be any better. If this guy plays his cards right over the next couple of weeks, he could take the race by storm. The odds don’t seem in his favor but if Santorum crashes and burns, as he probably will, and Gingrich fizzles, if he doesn’t play his hand well, Huntsman could potentially be in a top three field with Ron Paul and Mitt Romney. Apart from Romney being a big bag of crap with a nice haircut, I would actually like to see this lineup. With the field narrowed and Huntsman under the spotlight, he may be just moderate enough and Anti-Romney enough to really shake this race up. Huntsman really is the “x-factor” in the Republican primary right now.

No matter how any of this pans out, it sure as shit will be really fucking interesting. In the end, I hope that Paul is victorious but if he isn’t, there is still Gary Johnson, who should be in a much better position to take it to both parties come November.

Bring on New Hampshire bitches!