*Written by Rob Rimes.

Introduction:

I don’t hate Mitt Romney but I am certainly not a fan, which should be obvious at this point. I do hate the goddamned media for giving him an unfair advantage over the other candidates but truthfully, that isn’t his fault. Romney isn’t the absolute worst presidential choice out there, which many of my colleagues and readers may disagree with vehemently, but he is still a progressive statist bastard that is hellbent on controlling the lives of all of us in an effort to keep the giant wheel of the establishment machine rolling. I have been nasty to the guy many times in my countless diatribes about the 2012 election but my distaste and malcontent has been for a very good reason. Point being, I know that Romney can’t save this country and I feel that this is painstakingly obvious even though I find myself completely befuddled over the fanfare and support that this guy gets, not just form the media – their support is understandable, but from the conservative voting public who are all pretty much in unison behind this guy’s idea of smaller government, less taxes and squashing the budding police state. This guy will not solve any of those problems. In fact, he will only magnify them and dig our giant pit of legislative bullshit deeper and deeper. Hell, the pit is practically bottomless at this point but electing Mitt Romney will only solidify that fact even further.

I’m certainly not saying that Obama is a better choice out of the two. Realistically, I don’t think there is much difference between one or the other. This is a prime example of there being just one big government party with two wings: one that wears blue shirts with donkeys on them and one that wears red shirts with elephants on them. The worst part about this is that most “conservatives” are following Romney, as well as Gingrich and Santorum, believing in the hypocritical rhetoric that they’ve got a small government guy on their side who will fight for them. Realistically, those who support these guys are ignorant in economics and foreign policy. It is incredibly unfortunate but as Ron Paul said in a recent debate, “Conservatives have lost their way.”

Now I can’t completely cover every negative thing on Romney’s record, as there is a lot, but I am going to talk about a few points. In the end, it is really your decision as to where you want to put your vote but you really need to think this through and ask yourself where you want to be in four years. Do you want to be climbing out of the hole or do you want to be yelling at the guys that are still digging and digging?

Smaller Government:

The first thing worth getting into is definitely the issue of Mitt claiming that he’ll work towards making government smaller. Mitt Romney, who has preached for this over the course of all these debates, has a really shitty record of practicing what he’s been preaching. In reality, Mitt has been feeding into the desires of the voter base and has been stringing them along with his version of the popular rhetoric of the day. The sad thing is that many of the people who support this douchenugget are taking all this bullshit at face value and not looking at reality. Truthfully, maybe Romney actually believes his empty words and his supporters might not be adept enough to see through the Orwellian doublespeak. Let me rundown his track record of big government bullshit by ripping the fucking band-aid off: exposing the man’s economic sores.

I could write a whole damn article about the monstrosity that is Romneycare but I won’t bore you or myself with the details that have already been recycled a million times and beaten into the ground with Thor’s hammer by every critic for several years now. I’m over the Romneycare issue personally. I don’t like it, I think it’s shit, it was the blueprint for what became Obamacare but it was done at the state level, not the federal level and most Bay Staters still approve of it, so that is their economic cross to bear.

One thing that many Romney supporters don’t know or just choose to ignore is the fact that he significantly raised taxes in Massachusetts while he was governor. While preaching fiscal conservatism and pimping himself out as friendly to business, Governor Romney increased the tax bill on businesses by $300 million! He and his cronies also approved hundreds of millions of dollars worth of higher fees and fines on businesses in just four years! Many business owners were incredibly dissatisfied with Romney as governor. Essentially, corporate taxes under Romney almost doubled in just his one term.

I guess the tax hikes were necessary though, as Romney drastically increased spending in Massachusetts. In 2006, Ol’ Mittens increased spending in just that year by 7.6 percent. In 2007, he increased spending again, this time all the way up to 10.2 percent. During just his four years in office, he increased state spending by a total of 20.7 percent! That’s a lot of debt thrown on the taxpayer but at least those hefty tax hikes on corporations absorbed some of the burden. Maybe this tax burden accounts for the fact that Mitt Romney managed the 47th ranked state, out of 50, in the realm of job creation. That brings me to my next point.

Romney has been touting his job creation success while working at Bain Capital. He proudly boasts about creating corporations like Staples, Sports Authority and Steel Dynamics, all of which have created hundreds of thousands of jobs. However, as governor, unemployment was a real problem in Massachusetts. Sure, he did great in the private sector and as Romney himself has said, “Jobs are created in the private sector.” However, all of his job creation skills didn’t translate to success when he reached office. So what makes the public think that this job magician’s magic wand will suddenly work this time? Yes he is a self-professed business master but he couldn’t tap into that while running Massachusetts so essentially his trial run at it was a failure. On the issue of Romney’s job creation woes, Boston Herald business reporter Bret Arends wrote:

During the four years Mitt Romney was governor of Massachusetts, it had the second worst jobs record of any state in America…it wasn’t a regional issue. The rest of New England created nearly 200,000 jobs.

The question no one ever seems to ask Governor Romney is how many jobs were destroyed in an effort to build his monstrous corporations. Now I am not attacking him for building giant successful businesses, as that is the nature of the beast – good or bad. I am just trying to point out how skewed these sorts of statistical claims are because if you created say 300,000 jobs but your new businesses eliminated the jobs of say 250,000 people whose businesses you closed down through competition, well then you’ve only really created 50,000 jobs. This is a simple ballpark example but it should show you how some statistical claims can be made when you only tell one side of the story. Hell, government has been using these sorts of statistical tactics for years when releasing inaccurate numbers to sway public opinion for a candidate, a bill or whatever else they have needed public approval on.

Another issue that shows how non-small government this ass clown is, is the TARP bailouts. Mittens hates when people bring the subject up and has gone as far as lying and completely denying that he ever supported it but there is tons and tons of evidence that says otherwise. In fact, Romney was incredibly passionate about poorly run banks getting a massive taxpayer funded bonus for sucking at business. On CNN, a few years back during the bailouts, Romney said:

I think there is a need for economic stimulus. Americans have lost about $11 trillion dollars in net worth. That translates into about $400 billion dollars a year less spending that they’ll be doing, and that’s net of additional government programs like Medicaid and unemployment insurance. And government can help make that up in a very difficult time. And that’s one of the reasons why I think a stimulus program is needed.

Sounds like small government to me! So why would he be so pro-big bank? Well, let’s look at his top campaign contributors from a recent list. His top contributor is Goldman Sachs who gave $354,700. Next up is Credit Suisse Group at $195,250 and Morgan Stanley at $185,800. Every other contributor in the six figures is also in the banking industry. You’ve got HIG Capital, Barclays, Kirkland & Ellis, Bank of America, PricewaterhouseCoopers, EMC Corp. & JPMorgan Chase. His top ten contributors are all fucking banks! Occupying Wall Street should start on Mitt’s front lawn! This shows a sharp contrast from Ron Paul whose top three campaign contributors are the Air Force, the Army and the Navy. Paul’s biggest contributor is also a lot less than six figures. So who really understands the plight of the average person? Romney is so far up on the Wall Street crony capitalist ladder than he can’t remember how to get down – not that he wants to.

People that call Barack Obama the Wall Street president haven’t seen anything yet. On campaign contributions from the big banks, Obama has made significantly less than Romney. Goldman Sachs gave Obama $49,124, Morgan Stanley coughed up $28,225, Bank of America gave $46,699, JPMorgan Chase came in at $38,038 and Citigroup was at $36,887. You do the math but it is obvious who the bailed out banking industry supports.

Another thing worth noting is that Romney has gotten more money from lobbyists than all other Republican candidates combined. I guess you need all that special interest money to work towards smaller government. Damn it! That Mitt Romney doublethink is taking over my brain!

The fact of the matter is, love it or hate it, Mitt Romney has a proven track record of being nothing less than one of the heads on the big government hydra. He is an economic nightmare but because people take him at his word and don’t look at his record, he can continue to dupe the masses into thinking that he’s on their side.

Mitt Romney will say anything to get elected.

Continued in Part II: Foreign Entanglements..

*Taken from the Washington Post.

The Dover Air Force Base mortuary for years disposed of some dead troops’ body parts by burning them and dumping the ashes in a Virginia landfill, a practice that officials have since abandoned in favor of burying the remains at sea.

The Dover mortuary, which is the main point of entry for America’s war dead, sent remains to the landfill from 2003 until 2008, according to Air Force officials. The manner of disposal was typically withheld from the relatives of fallen service members. The disclosure comes in the aftermath of several federal investigations into mishandling of remains at the mortuary.

Air Force officials acknowledged the practice Wednesday in response to inquiries from The Washington Post. They said the procedure was limited to portions of body parts that were unable to be identified at first or were later recovered from the battlefield, and which family members had indicated could be disposed of by the military.

Lt. Gen. Darrell G. Jones, the Air Force’s deputy chief for personnel, said the body parts were first cremated, then incinerated, and then taken to a landfill by a military contractor. He could not explain why both cremation and incineration were necessary, but likened the process to disposing of medical waste.

CONTINUED..

*Taken from the Huffington Post.

The military deleted a passage about unidentified flying objects from a 2008 Air Force personnel manual just days after The Huffington Post asked Pentagon officials about the purpose of the UFO section.

Before the recent revisions, the document — Air Force Instruction 10-206 — advised pilots, radar operators and other Air Force personnel on what to do when they encountered any unknown airborne objects. Now in the 2011 version, the reference to UFOs — which simply means “unidentified flying objects,” not necessarily spaceships with little green men — has been eliminated.

What makes this so intriguing is that the U.S. government officially stopped investigating UFOs in 1969 with the termination of the Air Force’s Project Blue Book.

CONTINUED..

My Two Cents: Do I need to point out the obvious? End Two Cents.

*Taken from US News.

First lady Michelle Obama’s family trip to South Africa and Botswana in June cost taxpayers well over $424,000, according to new accounting based on Air Force manifests obtained by Judicial Watch, a taxpayer watchdog group.

The use of Air Force aircraft alone for the June 21-27 trip cost $424,142, said the group, and that doesn’t include the food, lodging, and ground transportation for the 21 family and staff members.

Judicial Watch said it based the jet costs on the Pentagon’s hourly rates for the C-32A aircraft used for the trip. The documents don’t give exact cost calculations, which is typical for presidential and first family trips.

CONTINUED..

Ron Paul may be the greatest American since the days of real men and our Founding Fathers. There isn’t much the guy says that a real patriot cannot disagree with. In fact, at the moment, I cannot think of anything. He wants real freedom and strives to expose tyranny on a daily basis. He is the spiritual advisor and leader to those of us who want to end the tyrannical Federal Reserve. He helped contribute to the mass awakening of the people in this country and he is the best candidate we have for president as far as I am concerned. Granted, Gary Johnson and Herman Cain are a very close second.

Via TheSwash.com

*Taken from KTNV. Video at link.

We’re learning more on why the U.S. Air Force raided a local gun store Friday. They say it wasn’t guns they were looking for.

An official from the Air Force is speaking to Action News about that raid. New information clarifies that this may have been an inside job, and the penalties could turn out to be very severe.

It was an afternoon that rocked businesses near Dean Martin and Flamingo. Local and federal law enforcement agencies swarmed in and served search warrants on Citadel Gun and Safe.

CONTINUED..

*Taken from AP.

The Air Force said Wednesday it is discharging a hero of the so-called birther movement who refused to report to duty in Germany for a few days earlier this month because he doubts President Barack Obama’s citizenship.

Staff Sgt. Daryn Moran expects to be discharged within the next week. Although the 41-year-old Nebraska man refused to report to duty and had called for Obama’s arrest in statements on websites, several other things contributed to his discharge, including his opposition to Obama’s decision to allow gays to serve openly in the military.

Moran, who has served nine years in the Air Force, drew the attention of the birther movement when he shared his views on Obama’s citizenship on websites of groups that believe Obama was not born in the U.S. and therefore is not eligible to serve as president or commander in chief.

CONTINUED..

*Written by Rob Rimes.

1. Introduction:

So, just like with the last GOP primary debate of the 2012 presidential election cycle, I figured I would share my thoughts, my rants and my ravings about the latest debate last night. I am a bit fired up over a situation regarding how Ron Paul was treated after the election but I will write a separate article about that immediately following this one. On a side note, Bill O’Reilly wants you to go to his website because he promises the “best election coverage”. Bullshit! Fuck Bill O’Reilly! TheSwash.com is the greatest site for election coverage and pure unadulterated truth! That fucking hack doesn’t even know what Keynesian economics is! No really, he doesn’t (see for yourself here).

As far as the debate itself goes, this was by far the best one yet, minus the exclusion of Gary Johnson once again! Anyway, Fox News puts on a much better show than CNN and last night was no different. After being subjected to John King’s weird noises and horrible pop culture laced questions last round, this debate was refreshing. The best part of all was that the candidates FINALLY stopped playing nice and started taking some serious jabs at each other. The three biggest battles of the night were Bachmann v. Pawlenty, Paul v. Santorum and Gingrich v. Fox News (his employer).

In any event, the debate was much better than watching the alternative last night. All my friends were more interested in the first NFL preseason games than watching the GOP contenders fight for the top spot in a war against our current president and a culture of corruption that has given us an economy comprised of a bipolar stock market and a downgraded credit rating. But yeah, in America that shit isn’t important because a bunch of whiney overpaid prima donnas in tights and pads were playing a game that doesn’t even count for the fucking record books. People wonder why we are so fucked.

So fuck all that and let me break down the debate itself because that is what is truly important here.

2. Hour 1:

The debate immediately starts off with a question for Fox News’ second front-runner Michelle Bachmann. Her answer is typical as she is fishing for cheap pops from the crowd to start the night. Her short answer was laced with colorful regurgitated rhetoric like, “Let’s make Barack Obama a one term president!” Yay! Sorry lady, I like some of what you say but overly used catchphrases are only effective in sitcoms and comic books. Now I am not beating up on Bachmann here, she held her own for sure and did really well, especially against the attacks of Tim “Vanilla Beans” Pawlenty. I’ll get into the big battles of the night deeper into this article.

Fox News then immediately went to their handpicked primary front-runner Mitt Romney. Not only did Fox show that they were focused on pimping out Bachmann and Romney but they gave Mittens three fucking questions in a row! Three! Um.. homies, there are eight people on that stage. You should probably stop sucking Mitt’s balls out of the gate and give some time to the other candidates.

One thing I’ve noticed during this game of favoritism is that Romney and Bachmann are both placed at the very center of the stage. I’m not lobbying to be the new host of ‘Conspiracy Theory’ but I do find that a little odd with the way things have gone thus far in the debate. Moving on.

Fox News finally gets with it and moves around to ask some other candidates some questions. After the first round of uneventful answers and introductions the two guys in the lead where I sit are Ron Paul and Herman Cain. I just like what they had to say to start the night because they say things that fucking resonate. While I came to this assessment I also realized that Newt Gingrich still looks like Chucky, Rick Santorum looks like a racquetball player from a Speed Stick commercial, Jon Huntsman looks like a dapper Barney Fife and Tim Pawlenty likes to offer free services like cooking and cutting grass.

Speaking of which, T.Paw asked the audience in the arena and at home, “Where are all of Obama’s plans to fix stuff?” He said that there was nothing on his website and that the current POTUS isn’t offering any real solutions. He says that if anyone can tell him where Obama’s solutions are that he’ll either cook them dinner or cut their grass. M’kay dude, they’re in Karl Marx’s “Communist Manifesto”. Question answered! Now get working on some Chilean sea bass because I’m hungry.

The next big thing to happen was the moderator trying to stir the pot between T.Paw and Bachmann. T.Paw was asked about a negative statement he made about Bachmann but he immediately dodged the bullet, playing it safe as he always does, and flipped the script to bash Obama. There were a few cheap pops but the crowd wasn’t really pleased with the spineless swerve. Bachmann responded by running down T.Paw’s track record as governor and essentially slapped him around like a two dollar hoe. This created a mini shit storm between the two where T.Paw finally started taking shots and Bachmann just swatted him like a little fly again and again. Many pundits after the debate felt that this was bad for Bachmann, as she seemed to be stooping to a lower level, but I loved her fire and cojones. She ain’t taking no lip from some Vanilla Bean shitcock.

I do have to point out the lowest blow of the Bachmann-Pawlenty exchange though. It was definitely when T.Paw put the blame of the failed Democrat-led Congress on Bachmann’s shoulders. He essentially painted the picture that the debt crisis, Obamacare and everything else Skeletor Pelosi’s House did was somehow Bachmann’s sin to bear. Needless to say, everyone in the arena and at home saw through that bullshit. What little respect I had for Pawlenty was gone after that. The gloves were definitely off at this point and as hard as some of that rhetoric was to swallow, this sparked a change in attitude for the debate that brought out some of the candidates true colors. As far as Bachmann and Pawlenty go, I never knew Canadians could turn up the heat so much.

Chris Wallace, one of the Fox News moderators then turns the attention to Newt Gingrich and really sets off the former Speaker of the House. Wallace essentially asks Newt how he can swim when he lost the major players on his campaign staff, that his campaign has amassed a million dollars in debt and that the public perceives his campaign as a “mess”. Newt tells Wallace to stop with the “gotcha questions” and then gives him a serious earful that leaves the Fox News Sunday host nervously trying to defend his question. I’ve never seen Chris Wallace bow down like that, he’s usually able to get in there with the best of them. Newt wasn’t having any of it and for as much shit as I have talked about Newt for years, I had no choice but to respect him after the exchange with Wallace. Newt also laid the smackdown on Bret Baier and anyone else that asked him other “gotcha questions”. Newt showed that he has leadership qualities and that he wasn’t going to backtrack like a little bitch ala Pawlenty. Newt Gingrich put a smile on my face for the first time last night. Gingrich’s best line to the “gotcha” serving moderators was:

I’d love to see the rest of tonight’s debate asking us about what we would do to lead an America whose president has failed to lead, instead of playing Mickey Mouse games!

Chris Wallace then moves on to Jon Huntsman and keeps up the “gotcha questions”. He mentions that Huntsman was Obama’s Ambassador to China, that he claimed Obama’s stimulus package wasn’t big enough, that as governor he supported cap & trade and that he supports civil unions between same sex couples. Wallace then asks Huntsman if he is running for president under the wrong party banner. Huntsman doesn’t have a real answer, he just talks about his service to his country and how proud he is being the only person who perceives himself as awesome. His self-love fest is met with dead silence and absolutely no applause.

Shortly after that, Huntsman is asked about illegal immigration and goes on a rant about securing the border. Yeah dude, I want to build a spaceship out of pistachio ice cream. Nothing wrong with being a dreamer homie. All I will say about Huntsman is that he is the dumbest superhero ever! Ketchup manipulation is a lame power!

Herman Cain is then asked about questionable statements he has made in the past. His response to that is a mystery to me. Not to knock the guy, I was just distracted by how smooth and col he was. He’s twice as raw as Big Daddy Kane and as eloquent as the world’s greatest poet laureates. Cain has a way with words that most of the other candidates don’t. Essentially, Herman Cain made the silly media’s questions look like they were being asked by Dum Dums: my favorite flavor is coconut pineapple.

We then go through a rather boring phase where Ron Paul is nowhere to be seen. I am assuming he’s in the bathroom. Mitt Romney then talks about punishing businesses that hire illegals. That leads to everyone then randomly talking about moats and alligators. Lastly, Newt Gingrich proposes that we throw a bunch of Homeland Security people on the Mexican border.

Ooh.. Ron Paul is back in the mix on the illegal immigration issue and he makes some solid points. One point is that he doesn’t believe that the burden of being the immigration police shouldn’t be on the shoulders of businessmen. He then mentions that if a church feeds and helps illegals, we don’t blame the church but if a business owner does, we blame the businessman. Dr. Paul hits the nail on the head as far as I’m concerned. He then flips the script on the establishment Republicans on the stage and the panel when he asks why we are more concerned with controlling borders overseas and not our own. This leads to Ron Paul pleading to the American people that it is time to bring our troops home.

After bouncing around between candidates a bit, round two of the Bachmann-Pawlenty bout kicks off. When Bachmann is confronted about questionable decisions and votes in her past, she explains that she has learned from those mistakes and that moving forward, she is sticking to her platform. While every candidate preaches this, Bachmann seems incredibly sincere and even though I am a huge skeptic when it comes to political rhetoric, for some reason I do believe her. Pawlenty jabs and jabs but comes out of this round looking like a fucking toolshed. Michele Bachmann has the ability to bring out T.Paw’s inner weasel.

During the second round of the Bachmann-Pawlenty main event, Santorum starts whining that no one is paying attention to him. He is quickly blown off and ignored again. He uses that free time to post an ad for his exercise bike on Craigslist.

The subject of the new unconstitutional Super Congress is brought up. Newt Gingrich hates the idea, as do I. Being a former Speaker of the House, there are very few people that could understand the lunacy of this idea as much as Mr. Gingrich. He goes into a great explanation of how idiotic and asinine the idea is. Newt is winning some points, as far as I see it. He’s doing pretty damn good for a guy that lost most of his posse a few months back.

T.Paw then gets back in the fray and is asked about his “Obomneycare” comment from months back that he originally caved on when in front of Romney the last debate. T.Paw then tries to take it to Mitt, feeling the testosterone from the Bachmann battle but Vanilla Bean is just too nice. It’s like he’s afraid he’ll lose a friend if he says too much. Is that a leadership quality?

This naturally flows into asking Romney about health care and his Romneycare plan versus the Obamacare plan. Of course Mittens tells us that they were different and avoids really having to break it down. He claims that he will repeal Obamacare and that it really comes down to states rights via the 10th Amendment. Romney goes on a 10th Amendment rant which is great because the 10th Amendment is fucking dope! However, hypocrisy is on the horizon as later on in the night, Romney flip-flops on the ultimate awesomeness of the 10th Amendment.

Ron Paul steps in and educates the establishment dicks on health care and it’s relation to corporatism and how that is the root of the real problem. It’s not like they are even paying attention or getting it. I mean he’s fucking nuts, right? Free market solutions to health care are just crazy. Oh wait.. the crowd roars with cheers and thunderous applause.

Rick Santorum opens his mouth and shit literally falls out. No, for real! He doesn’t “get” the Constitution and starts getting all religious and shit. This is why he won’t even come close to winning this election. He disses Ron Paul’s stance as he tries to justify his unconstitutional ideals by referencing America’s biggest tyrant of a POTUS Abraham Lincoln. Then, acting quickly, like the mainstream midgets they are, Fox News cuts to a commercial break leaving Ron Paul without the opportunity to respond to Santorum’s call for “moral enterprise”.

3. Hour 2:

We come back from commercial break and hey! Where’s Michele Bachmann? Oh, there she is strolling back on stage late. Women are never punctual! I hope this isn’t a sign of how she will run things as president. My inside source informed me that she was tearing up a dope ass crescent roll! No worries Bachmann, I can’t walk by one without having to throw down on it either.

So immediately Bret Baier decides to waste time by asking every single candidate how they feel about a potential candidate that isn’t even there, Rick Perry. Why even ask that? Well, Rick Perry is Fox News’ dream candidate, even more so than Romney. They’ve been pimping him out for months now and there isn’t a single day that goes by where someone at Fox News doesn’t give us a Rick Perry update. Fuck that douche! Ron Paul and Herman Cain ain’t worried ’bout no Rick Perry and Huntsman took a nice jab at him.

Now they name drop Sarah Palin to waste time getting the candidates take on another hypothetical. Michele Bachmann gets goofily excited and talks about how they are best friends and trade My Little Pony accessories. Newt Gingrich reminds us of another hypothetical in Rudy Giuliani. He then talks up Perry. C’mon Newtie Bootie, you were doing well thus far!

For the next segment the moderators take us into the War on Terror and foreign threats to the United States. T.Paw tries to get some cheap pops spewing the same tired rhetoric. I almost sensed that he was going to drop the word “evildoers” but lucky for us he held it back. Romney proved that he has no idea how the War on Terror works or what is really going on. He says that the people want freedom. M’kay, if that’s the case let’s get the fuck out of there and let them be free! Oh, but the Taliban will waltz right in eight seconds later. Whether that’s true or not, does that justify anymore dead soldiers? Well, most of you voting for most of these candidates seem to think so.

Newt Gingrich gets irritated with yet another “gotcha question”. He then says some stuff but I got up to get a glass of bourbon and a quesadilla. He sounded like he was bringing the fire again, which I like. Homeboy is not going to roll over and die like everyone thought he would.

As I sit back down with my 100 proof beverage and my cheesy Mexican treat, Huntsman is taking about how a cyberattack is an act of war. Shit man, hackers going ape shit means we have to blow some people up? Shit’s gonna get messy! I’m sure they are referring to Iran and China and shit but LulzSec and Anonymous are blowin’ up right now!

Now we get to some good shit, as Chris Wallace tries his “gotcha” tactics with Ron Paul in bringing up that he stated that Iran has the right to build nuclear weapons to defend themselves in a world where so many other countries have their own nukes. Ron Paul mentions that even the CIA has come out and said that there isn’t any real evidence that Iran is working on building nukes. He then uses the Cold War as an example while informing us that he served in the Air Force during the height of the Soviet threat. In regards to this he says:

We were standing up against the Soviets. They had like 30,000 nuclear weapons with intercontinental missiles. Just think of the agitation and the worry about a country that might get a nuclear weapon some day. And just think of how many nuclear weapons surround Iran. The Chinese are there. The Indians are there. The Pakistanis are there. The Israelis are there. The United States is there. All these countries … why wouldn’t it be natural if they might want a weapon? Internationally, they might be given more respect. Why should we write people off? In the Fifties, we at least talked to them. At least our leaders and Reagan talked to the Soviets. What’s so terribly bad about this? And countries you put sanctions on you are more likely to fight them. I say a  policy of peace is free trade, stay out of their internal business, don’t get involved in these wars and just bring our troops home.

The crowd pops like a motherfucker! Of course this was probably over the heads of most people on that stage and the moderators. In fact, Chris Wallace had to question Ron Paul on what he had just heard because in his mind, Dr. Paul must be crazy and he needed clarification. Ron Paul continued with:

Why would it be so strange if the Soviets and Chinese have nuclear weapons? We tolerated the Soviets, we didn’t attack them and they were a much greater danger. They were the greatest danger to us in our whole history. But you don’t go to war against them.

Rick Santorum is apparently offended by Paul’s statements because Santorum is a whiney hoe. He then interrupts a question for Herman Cain to respond to Ron Paul. Of course he flat out lies and claims that the Iranians have killed more Americans than the Iraqis and Afghanis in both Iraq and Afghanistan. As a part of his bullshit lie, he states that we’ve been at war with Iran since 1979. Um.. no we haven’t. So Ron Paul has to quickly remind this fucktard weasel that our history with Iran goes all the way back to 1953 when we intervened and assisted a coup in Iran which eventually backfired and created the problems we have today. Santorum is a fucking moron and even with his blatant lies, he couldn’t trump the master of foreign policy, who is also the biggest anti-war voice on stage. And why does Santorum call them Erranians? Learn how to talk you simple fuck.

Michele Bachmann who is the Tea Party darling and libertarian leaning shows her true colors when she perpetuates the War on Terror hysteria that the Republicans always use. Just when you think she’s going to cross the Rubicon over to the shores of reality, she puts her foot in her mouth. Too bad for her.

All these candidates except for Paul subscribe to the theory that if we are carrying the big stick, no one else can. If you can’t see how that is the opposite of freedom and liberty than I can’t help you.

Wallace then refers to a comment made by Santorum where he said that Eric Holder must be “smoking mushrooms”. Okay dude, you really are a simple fuck Santorum! You don’t smoke fucking mushrooms! Man, I should just chill out and go drink a big glass of marijuana.

Now the moderator from the Examiner keeps saying “mooslims”. They’re not fucking cows, they’re people dummy! Then he presses Herman Cain on how he always has something to say about other religions, like Mormonism and Islam. He diplomatically explains that he wants to understand how Mormonism fits with Christianity. With Islam he states that he is against Sharia Law as the Constitution is the law of the land and we can’t strip it away in an effort to be sensitive or politically correct. Kudos sir, kudos.

Michele Bachmann then finds herself to be the victim of the strangest question of the night when the Examiner moderator asks her if she would be “submissive” to her husband. After thirty seconds of boos from the crowd and awkward silence from Bachmann she states that she respects and loves her husband. This moment was fucking weird but it gave Bachmann a window to mention her 127 kids.

Now remember when I warned you that 10th Amendment champ Mitt Romney was going to fly the hypocrisy flag earlier in this article? Well, that flag was flying high when the subject of gay marriage came up. We see through you ass clown! Now you think that this issue should be decided at the federal level? Really? Here goes another establishment dickbag trying to justify the stripping of OUR constitutional rights so he can force us to live within the rules of HIS religious faith. Typical. Fucking. Republican.

Huntsman then lets us know that he supports civil unions between gays and lesbians. He then immediately tries to trump Bachmann when he mentions his huge legion of children. After that, Ron Paul pimps out the 10th Amendment like Romney should’ve and he then warns about the actions people like Romney would like to implement. That being the action of forcing everyone to comply with their belief system and their “morals”.

Of course bitch ass whiner Santorum is disgusted and tries to drown us in more of his deluded self-righteous holier-than-thou bullshit. He brags about how he came to Iowa and got rid of three justices who supported gay marriage. Rick Santorum saved the state from man-on-man buttsex. Guys like Santorum are usually the first to sign up for amateur night at the drag show. He hates gays because he hates the part of himself that he can’t show the world. Santorum is a walking fucking tragedy. He should also put down Racquetball Weekly and read some Murray Rothbard.

Pawlenty then gets the abortion question and he states that he would punish abortion doctors but not patients seeking abortions. Yeah man, that makes perfect fucking sense. T.Paw is referred to as “the most pro-life candidate”. I think they fucked up reading their notes and they meant to say “the most pro-lame candidate”. Vanilla Bean is nowhere near as whacked as Santorum but he’s drowning in this race very quickly.

Pawlenty’s lameness is then followed by more lameness when Romney and Huntsman just give us empty insincere filler for several minutes. Off screen, Santorum is having trouble changing his tampon while he’s covered in tears.

Bachmann then gets a chance to express why she voted against the Boehner bill to raise the debt limit. Ron Paul and Herman Cain obviously get where she’s coming from as she explains why raising the debt ceiling is madness. She cites the downgraded credit rating by Standard & Poor’s as proof that she made the right decision. Cain admits that he was also against it.

Next up, Newt declares his love for having a central bank. What the fuck dude?! You were doing so goddamned well and you really just fucked up in my book. Where the hell is Andrew Jackson’s ghost to cook this turkey?! Oh wait! Ron Paul serves up some heat and educates Gingrich on why the Federal Reserve needs to be destroyed. We all know that Newt ain’t listening though.

Oh fuck! Santorum is still there? He’s against the gold standard and then takes more cheap shots at Ron Paul. Santorum is feasting on sour bitch grapes. Man the fuck up and stop being a little bitch dude! This guy looks like absolute shit at this point. People pulling for Santorum in this election need to check their ass. He’s against the gold standard?! Really?!

The debate concludes with a short exchange about education where Huntsman and Cain say that they are against No Child Left Behind. After that we are subjected to the generic closing comments we always get. Luckily we weren’t bombarded with URLs this time. Maybe they held back because Pawlenty and Santorum’s campaign managers thought it would be a waste of money to renew the domains for another year.

4. Conclusion:

This was the best debate so far in the 2012 presidential election cycle. Some people shined, a few sunk. Sure I am biased towards Ron Paul but he was under fire a lot and he continually brought it hard against all comers and made all of his points clearly. Bachmann did really well in my opinion. Gingrich didn’t make me a believer but he did win a lot of points overall. Herman Cain was good but he needs to turn it up a few notches. However, I was pleased that he wasn’t repeating his catchphrases over and over or counting down his solution talking points numerically. Because of that, Cain’s performance was an improvement over the last debate. The other four candidates can suck a dick, especially that jackass fucksack Santorum.

So without further ado, as this article’s title asks, “Who won the debate?” I do have to give you an answer. Well, after watching this damn thing three times and after taking a fuckload of notes, I gave each candidate a letter grade. Here they are from best to worst:

Grading Scale:
Grade A: Ron Paul
Grade B+: Michele Bachmann
Grade B: Newt Gingrich
Grade B-: Herman Cain
Grade C: Mitt Romney
Grade D+: John Hunstsman
Grade D:Tim Pawlenty
Grade F: Rick Santorum
Grade I: Gary Johnson