*Written by Rob Rimes.

Recently, in a memoir he published, a former Navy SEAL came forward claiming that he decked and knocked down former Navy SEAL, former professional wrestler, former Governor of Minnesota and television host Jesse Ventura. Chris Kyle, the SEAL who claims he did this, is a decorated sniper who has been awarded an almost uncountable number of medals. Now while I would hate to discredit someone of that stature, certain things about his story don’t add up and since Fox News is just about the only mainstream media source that is even talking about the issue, one can’t not question this situation. Plus, the incident took place over five years ago and it is just now being brought public? Sorry but that is incredibly fishy.

Another thing worth noting is that the book that Kyle wrote ‘American Sniper’ has been published by Harper Collins which is owned by Rupert Murdoch’s News Corporation, who also own Fox News. Now also taking into account that Bill O’Reilly has been vehemently opposed to Jesse Ventura for years and the former Governor has had plenty of spats with O’Reilly and his Fox News colleagues makes him a prime target for Fox News’ top ratings getter. It also probably doesn’t help Ventura that O’Reilly has never really been objective or fair and balanced, as he claims that he is. Hell, the O’Reilly Factor’s slogan “The spin stops here” is a blatant lie. O’Reilly often times refers to himself as a “journalist” even though he is a commentator. O’Reilly is either a horrible liar, as anyone with a single brain cell can see through this charade, or he just doesn’t know the difference between a journalist or a commentator. Another reason why O’Reilly may be coming at Ventura with guns blazing is because the former Governor has been very vocal about his support for Ron Paul, which is someone else that Fox News is trying to smear and brush under the rug, as if he were non-existant. In any event, this whole situation smells about as rotten as sack full of sweaty yeast infected orangutan vaginas, so I had to do some investigating of my own, since Bill O’Reilly the “journalist” apparently doesn’t have that magical ability.

Before I get into my investigating, let’s get into O’Reilly’s lackluster attempt. Now while taking Chris Kyle’s story at face value, O’Reilly and almost every other Fox News show promoted this guy and his book and pushed his tale as factual without actually checking on the story for themselves. This obviously outraged Ventura, who went on the Alex Jones Radio Show and said that this event never happened. Ventura said that he never disrespected a deceased Navy SEAL as Kyle claimed and that he never even met Kyle and therefore was never punched by the guy. Ventura went on to name the restaurant where the incident supposedly took place and said that the owner was a friend of his and people were free to call the guy and ask him if the story was indeed true. So what did O’Reilly do after Ventura brought all this up?

Well, O’Reilly didn’t call the bar owner. In fact what he did do was quote two eye-witnesses, who weren’t even actually interviewed, who claimed they saw the whole thing. The catch was that both of these witnesses were buddies of Chris Kyle and therefore, obviously had some biased input, as they don’t want to tarnish their homeboy’s credibility while he’s trying to pimp his book. O’Reilly before the show where he quoted these eye-witnesses was promoting the segment like he had the smoking gun and was going to expose Ventura. Billy O claimed that he had evidence to support his made up conclusion and when all was said and done, this evidence was placed at the very end of his show in the “Dumbest Things of the Week” segment. Okay, so is he admitting his evidence is dumb? Or is he trying to make a joke out of all this to absolve himself of any backlash after carelessly opening a can of bullshit worms? Also in this segment was a story about a Colorado high school senior who wanted to use a topless photo for her yearbook picture. As you can see, O’Reilly was now filing this story, that he made such a big serious deal about the week prior, into the trash bin.

So why did O’Reilly waste his audience’s time with these bullshit witnesses that he promoted heavily leading up to the show? Then again, anyone who watches this douchenugget is wasting their time regardless. Anyway, why didn’t O’Reilly take Ventura’s advice and call the owner of the bar and get him to make an official statement? Maybe Ol’ Billy Boy didn’t want to have someone come in and ruin this story. Maybe if he asked the owner for his account it would’ve ruined this pointless smear of an American hero who deserves the same amount of respect that Chris Kyle is getting from his News Corp. brothers. Well, being the pot-stirring jackass that I am, I couldn’t let justice not be served so I made a couple phone calls.

Last week I called the restaurant in question and asked to speak to the owner. When I called, he wasn’t in but I did get some information from the manager who picked up the phone. The manager said that he didn’t specifically remember if the event happened or not, as it took place over five years ago. The manager told me to try again to see if I could talk to the owner, who he claimed was hard to pin down.

I called the next day and had no luck and then called a third time and was cued in to something noteworthy. I was told by one of the managers that they were getting a lot of calls about the incident from other people. I asked if any major news organizations had contacted them like Fox and they said “no”. Aha! So O’Reilly didn’t even bother! Anyway, the guy on the phone told me that the owner wasn’t there but that he didn’t want to talk about it anyway and I agreed to not call back out of respect for their wishes not to be bothered. I was told however that even if it happened so long ago, an incident like that wouldn’t have been forgotten and that it would still be the talk of the bar, which it isn’t. In his own way, this was the manager’s confirmation that this story was most likely a fabrication. It’s really for you to decide but the point is, journalists, bloggers and concerned citizens working outside of the mainstream media circle have been trying to get to the bottom of this while the media giants didn’t even make a phone call to check and cover their own asses.

In fact, after O’Reilly quoted the bullshit witness testimonies, he brought on Greg Gutfeld and Arthel Neville to talk about it. Gutfeld tried to poke fun at Ventura being a 9/11 Truther because that’s all that he could do to try and discredit someone of Ventura’s stature, which is a much higher stature than Chris Kyle in my book. Neville added, “I tend to believe the Navy SEAL in this story.” She was referring to Kyle of course, as the three amigos didn’t mention or just simply forgot that Ventura too was a Navy SEAL. However, by her reasoning, both Kyle and Ventura would be telling the truth! That’s that good ol’ Fox News journalism for ya! I guess the fact that Ventura is a former SEAL and a former governor means nothing to these establishment cockpuppets. What’s sad is that I always liked and respected Gutfeld but ever since he became a co-host of ‘The Five’ he has been firmly assimilated into the mainstream media’s culture of bullshit. When on the television, Gutfeld always came off as the smartest and wittiest guy in the room but once getting himself out of that 3 a.m. time slot, he’s quickly regressed into being your run-of-the-mill mainstream shamster.

The purpose of this is not to say who is telling the truth or who isn’t, it is to show how the mainstream media takes potential bullshit at face value and disregards evidence in an effort to sell a story, that could be complete fabricated garbage. Fox News, as was confirmed, did nothing to really try and find a resolution to this story. Hell, they couldn’t even get an intern to pick up a phone and make a call? I made three calls and I run several websites with no real staff to speak of and I have a full-time job on top of that! If there is anything to learn from this, it is that you should question the trash that these ass clown talking heads try to shove down your throat. I wish we could trust the news coming from the top but this is just another account of why they are just lying bastards more interested in trash television than truth.

Former Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura tells the Alex Jones Show that the hoax story about Navy SEAL Chris Kyle punching him in a bar, an incident which never happened, may be part of an establishment backlash against Ventura for supporting presidential candidate Ron Paul.

The controversy began last week when US Navy SEAL Chris Kyle appeared on numerous television shows, primarily to brag about how many Iraqis he had killed as a sniper and to promote his new book.

Kyle claims that he met Ventura in a bar in Coronado in 2006 while Ventura was in town to speak to a new class of SEAL graduates at nearby Naval Amphibious Base Coronado. Also present were family members holding a wake for Michael Mansoor, one of the first SEALs killed in Iraq. Kyle claims Ventura began loudly objecting to the war in Iraq before calling the troops “murderers” and saying “we deserved to lose a few guys”.

Kyle then claims he punched Ventura, knocked him to the floor, and quickly fled the scene.

Ventura explained that if the story happened as Kyle described it then, “he’s confessing to the crime of assault.”

“I want to to clear his name because he’s confessing to assaulting me, and it didn’t happen,” Ventura told the Alex Jones Show, adding “I can unequivocally tell you I’ve never been punched in Coronado, California.”

Ventura explained that the owner of the bar in question, McP’s Irish Pub & Grill, was a close friend of his and that anyone was free to call him up and confirm that the alleged incident never took place.

“If a former Governor within the SEAL community had been knocked down and hit and assaulted, it would have traveled through the SEAL community like wildfire,” said Ventura, pointing out how “absurd” it was for the incident only to come to light almost six years later.

Ventura also emphasized how, “you’re never at McP’s alone, you’re there with your team mates, your classmates….there’ll be at least five or six guys with you, I would sure like to hear of a witness that saw this event because it never happened.”

“He never hit me, I don’t even know who he is,” said Ventura, adding that if the incident had occurred the way Kyle described, there would be a police report, which there isn’t.

Ventura said that he had only ever been treated with honor and dignity at every SEAl community event he had attended, adding, “I don’t know why this young gentleman wants to plead that he committed a crime against me, but I can unequivocally plead for his innocence because the event never happened.”

Ventura stressed that although he has never supported the war in Iraq, he has “all the sympathy in the world for the soldiers having been one,” labeling it a “direct insult” by Kyle to question his patriotism and claim that he would verbally attack family members of a slain soldier at a wake.

CONTINUED at Prison Planet. Written by Paul Joseph Watson. Video at link.

Appearing on Alex Jones’ nationally syndicated radio show today, the former governor of Minnesota and best selling author, Jesse Ventura, emphatically declared his support for Ron Paul’s presidential run.

“Ron Paul has Governor Jesse Ventura’s endorsement without a doubt,” he said. “It’s not even close. Because I want a new president that is going to change the direction of this country. I want a new president that is going to follow the Constitution. I want a new president that is going to believe in states’ rights. I want somebody that will shock the status quo.”

Jesse said Ron Paul is the only candidate that will put an end to the establishment’s wars and foreign adventures.

“It’s a simple as this,” he said. “If people truly are looking for an attempt at change in this country – changing who are and what we will be in the future – then there is only one candidate, and that is congressman Ron Paul. He’s the only candidate that wants to audit the Federal Reserve… he is the only candidate that wants to talk rather than wage war, so I think this will truly be an agenda for the United States of America, an agenda to determine what we stand for. Do we stand for being the most aggressive, war-mongering country in the world who is all set to go to war with Iran, too, or are we going to be a country that stands for peace?”

Jesse said that there has not been a president since John F. Kennedy who worked for peace and opposed the endless war policies of the ruling elite. Ron Paul is the first candidate since Kennedy to oppose the perpetual war agenda, he explained.

He criticized the corporate media for its effort to portray Paul’s foreign policy philosophy as “scary” and said the exact opposite it true – the foreign policy of the establishment and its handpicked candidates is scary. “All we do is go to war – one after another after another – and I’m one of the people being a veteran who says stop it, that’s enough of this,” Ventura said.

If America wants a change in direction, Jesse said, the only choice for president in 2012 is Ron Paul. “He is then only one who says we ought to talk before we shoot.”

Ventura cited as an example the response of the United States to Iran’s announcement that if may block the Strait of Hormuz if the United States and the EU impose a crippling embargo – essentially an act of war – on the country. The U.S. has vowed to respond if Iran blocks the strategic waterway.

He compared the latest actions of the U.S. to an earlier embargo – the oil embargo imposed on Japan by the United States that ultimately resulted in the attack on Pearl Harbor and the start of the Second World War.

Source: Infowars.

*Taken from Prison Planet. Written by Paul Joseph Watson.

Former Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura today slammed the media for lying in their suggestion that his effort to seek Mexican citizenship meant he was giving up his U.S. citizenship, calling the smear an attempt to portray him as unpatriotic.

Ventura set the record straight during an appearance on the Alex Jones Show, saying he had been misquoted on “wanting to give up my U.S. citizenship, I never once stated that,” adding that he was merely seeking dual citizenship because he and his wife lived half the year in Mexico anyway.

In the aftermath of his press conference on Friday, some reports announced that Ventura was “abandoning his citizenship” and running away to Mexico in response to a judge tossing out his case against TSA groping in airports.

CONTINUED..

*Taken from AP.

A federal judge has dismissed a lawsuit by former Minnesota Gov. Jesse Ventura in which he sought to challenge the use of full-body scans and pat-downs at airport checkpoints.

Ventura sued the Department of Homeland Security and the Transportation Security Administration in January alleging that the scans and pat-downs violated his right to be free from unreasonable searches and seizure.

U.S. District Judge Susan Richard Nelson ruled Thursday that the court lacked jurisdiction.

Ventura claimed that the titanium hip implanted in him in 2008 sets off metal detectors and that agents previously used hand-held wands to scan his body. He says he was subjected to a body pat-down after an airport metal detector went off last November.

Ventura’s attorney says Ventura will comment Friday outside the St. Paul federal courthouse.

*Taken from Infowars. Written by Paul Joseph Watson.

Government front group Demos, an integral part of the British establishment which was founded by Marxists, is terrified that children are using the Internet to question what they are taught in school, and has vowed to abolish any such critical thinking to reinforce the education system’s role as a tool of indoctrination.

A BBC News report reflects Demos’ panic at “conspiracy theories” (ie any critical thought that questions the official consensus) being brought into the classroom.

It’s a delicious irony that we’ve highlighted many times before and it underpins the entire education system. While complaining that children are not engaging in “critical thinking,” Demos, a government front group, is abolishing any notion of critical thinking by telling students that they should only believe what the government and the mainstream media tells them is true – the same establishment that has been caught proliferating lies time and time again.

CONTINUED..

*Taken from Prison Planet.

Former Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura has sensationally called for Ron Paul to quit the Republican Party in order to form a Paul-Ventura libertarian ticket that can take on the establishment candidates in the race for the White House in 2012.

“Ron Paul can win, all you’ve got to do is activate and get the silent voters out to vote,” Ventura told the Alex Jones Show, adding that a Ron Paul-Ventura Libertarian ticket would create “incredible excitement”.

“Ron Paul needs to quit the Republican Party, get the nomination for the Libertarian Party,” said Ventura, adding that he would consider being in a Ron Paul cabinet if the Congressman won.

“I would be his best choice because I would be a great insurance policy,” joked Ventura, noting that nothing would happen to Ron Paul because it would mean he would be in power and would cause the establishment even greater problems than the Congressman.

CONTINUED..

*Written by Rob Rimes.

1. Introduction:

Is this an unwarranted  smear piece? I know that it may be perceived that way and it is completely justifiable to accuse it as such but I am only stating facts here. The point is, the facts are that bad. Granted my opinion and a bit of name calling will saturate this critique of the GOP’s frontrunner to run against Obama in 2012 but at the end of the day, Rick Perry is still a lying scumbag fuck that needs to be exposed for his lies, his deceit and his apparent lack of humanity. This guy is a vile tyrant and it is no surprise that he is the establishment’s handpicked successor to Barack Obama: almost guaranteed to take the American throne.

Fox News has been sucking this guy’s cock so fucking hard that it is almost sickening to watch. If Perry had foreskin he doesn’t anymore because every time my channel-surfing finger has stopped on Fox News, no matter what time of day, the topic has been Rick fucking Perry. It has gotten so bad that I heard that Fox News is changing its name to the Rick Perry Network. I mean, let’s call a spade a spade because that’s basically what the channel has become.

This Perry love started well before he officially entered the presidential race but it has been insanely magnified the last week since he announced his candidacy. The problem is that all this attention to this election cycle’s “golden boy” takes away time and coverage from the other candidates. The stone cold truth is that they don’t want you to concern yourself with any of the others now that this redneck dragon has pounced on the scene reeking of Aquanet. Hell, they’re already promoting the war of words between Perry and Obama to the point that it looks like he already won the damn primary. Well he hasn’t but apparently Fox News doesn’t care. Their mind is made up and because of that, it just shows how irresponsible they are and that they completely lack any journalistic integrity. The only thing “fair and balanced” over their is the lack of time being given to the other candidates now (well except for Ron Paul and Gary Johnson who are both being ignored).

Rick Perry is not only a horrible candidate to lead this country, he is also a very bad man. Pundits keep saying he is the next George W. Bush, as if that’s a good thing! Some of them are even claiming that he is Reaganesque. Those claiming that are complete fucking morons that just shoot a bunch of shit out of their ass and have no idea what the fuck they are talking about. Rick Perry is definitely not Reagan and he is much worse than Bush II: Back in the Habit. Rick Perry at his core is nothing more and nothing less than terminal fucking cancer eating away at liberty. As harsh as that sounds, after just the next section of this article, you will see why.

2. The Vicious Vaccinator:

It looks like I’m going to hit you with the worst thing first. Why beat around the bush and waste time saving this for the main event on the card? This is the one thing that definitely needs to be brought out in the open for the masses outside of Texas to see. This isn’t something you will hear about on Fox News; well that’s not counting Michelle Malkin, who was the only person with balls big enough to come out this past week and express her distaste for Rick Perry because of this very reason. Thank god it was live because she probably would’ve been edited out otherwise. Of course the host she was talking to just brushed it off like a little bit of dirt on the shoulder.

Nothing Rick Perry has ever done is as inhumane and purely evil as what he did to little girls in Texas. To put it simply, Rick Perry forced young girls in Texas to get vaccinated whether their parents were cool with it or not. Rick Perry used his power to press this medical tyranny on the innocent children of his constituents! Did Perry get away with it? Fuck no! Luckily for the people of Texas the state lawmakers put a stop to Rick Perry’s emperor-like executive order but it doesn’t excuse the fact that Perry was dead set on employing tactics that were reminiscent of Adolf Hitler. For the record, unlike other opinionated commentators and political writers, I don’t throw Nazi comparisons around lightly. This may actually be the first time because typically, I hate when people do it.

When looking a little deeper at this incredibly insane incident, one is left even further aghast by the facts that the media has brushed this under the rug and completely ignored it. You see, the vaccine was Gardasil which has been known to make some people very sick and has even been the cause of death for a few. In his defense, Perry did allow parents the option to opt out. Of course that was difficult and came with a mountain of forms but at least he was open to the concept of allowing parents to attempt to save their daughters from potential death! What a humanitarian!

It’s funny considering that Rick Perry is so vocally opposed to the individual mandate in Obamacare but yet, he was apparently cool with doing this and the ONLY thing that stopped him was dozens of other lawmakers?! Then again in 1993 he did refer to Hillarycare as “most commendable”. Oh yeah, he wrote that after becoming a Republican. If you didn’t know, he was once a Democrat that worked for Al Gore on his 1988 presidential campaign. So where does he stand on all this shit really?

When it comes down to it, why would this follicly formidable fucksack even take a chance on these young girls’ lives? Well, that is because the drug company behind the vaccinations was Merck. You see, Merck and Perry are really tight butt buddies. In fact, Merck contributed heavily to Perry’s gubernatorial campaign and even had in their employ Perry’s ex-Chief of Staff Mike Toomey. This is proof enough for me that Rick Perry is easily bought and just as fucking corrupt as anyone in the Beltway.

The fact that this is not a gigantic dark smear on his campaign is absolutely fucking irresponsible by the mainstream media. The fact that this hasn’t completely ruined the man is mind boggling! The fact that this act wasn’t career suicide is so fucking twisted that it just doesn’t even make any sort of logical sense. The media went ape shit wasting countless months on Obama’s goddamned birth certificate issue but THIS isn’t fucking news?!?! The fact that it isn’t is proof that Fox or any other media outlet that ignores it has the journalistic integrity of Weekly World News.

If you question this, don’t take my word for it, research it yourself. Because as far as I am concerned, after knowing this, anyone who would vote for Perry or just go on ignoring this incident is just as guilty as he is. How could you vote for and support this power hungry megalomaniac almost murderer?

3. The Crown Prince of Porn:

Not only did Rick Perry want to force your daughters to take harmful vaccines but he also wanted to profit off of them in the porn industry. Having invested a significant amount of money into a company that has produced such titles as “Teens Never Say No”, “Teens with Tits”, “Bisexual Barebacking” and “Big Tit Brotha Lovers” shows that Mr. Conservative Rick Perry is a real winner and an icon of morality that deserves our admiration. Now I truly understand why Sean Hannity wants to roll around in barrels of this guy’s cum.

Now I’m not bashing pornography in general; I watch it, I like it and if that is your source of income then do your thing! However I am against a guy who is supposedly this morally superior god-fearing conservative that is really just a hypocrite making serious cheese off of what many consider a morally questionable industry. Granted, this isn’t as bad as forcing needles into the arms of children but it is still worth pointing out.

You see, way back in 1995, Mr. Perry invested in the company Movie Gallery, which is a rather large video rental chain that I am sure most of you have heard of. I used to rent movies there all the time and on my way out I’d grab a box of Nestlé Sno-Caps and a 1L bottle of Dr. Pepper. Movie Gallery was the fucking shit and I always liked them over Blockbuster. One of the main reasons was because their rental fees were really goddamned cheap. The reason for this was because they made a shit ton of money being the largest distributor of pornography in America at that time. Selling porn made so much money that they could price their regular rentals lower than the competition. It always helps to have a second stream of income, doesn’t it?

While Rick Perry was making serious money off of his secret stash of smut, he was parading around with some of the same Christian groups that were out trying to stop and boycott companies like Movie Gallery for pimping this stuff out. What side was Perry on? On a side note: one of these “Christian” groups is now considered “terrorists” by the way. But hey, Slick Rick had a responsibility to make the voters happy, especially the religious right but he also had to make some money. In the end however, his true colors shined bright! Cha-ching!

Now Governor Perry would go on to pass laws that would protect companies like Movie Gallery from lawsuits after they were allegedly caught violating the law by illegally distributing porn across state lines. He even went on to refer to the lawsuit against Movie Gallery as “frivolous”. I guess when it came down to it, fattening his bottom line was more important than representing the people who voted him in power. Seems like a trend between Movie Gallery and Merck. I’m sure cash and kickbacks are a prime motivator for Rick Perry. Is that the type of guy you want leading this country?

Also, I don’t have an issue with porn. In fact, I worked in the industry briefly as a bodyguard. However, I know that a lot of you voting for Perry are true Christian conservatives and I know that this probably doesn’t sit well with you. Perry, contrary to what the glowing box in your living room tells you, is not a true conservative out to protect your rights and support the things you stand for. Realistically, Perry isn’t going to support anything any of us stand for unless there’s a lucrative incentive.

4. The Anti-Capitalist Capitalist:

Rick Perry and his billion-dollar propaganda department on cable television have most of you believing that he is a free market guy. These mindless pundits are pimping out his pro-capitalist panache with unrivaled enthusiasm. The truth is, it’s all bullshit. Perry is not this great free market wizard that the talking heads on the red channel want you to believe. In fact, his record is more like the so-called progressive heroes that you see on the blue channel. As far as economics go, Perry is pretty much a big pile of dog shit. I’m about to give you a fuckload of reasons why.

To start, Rick Perry loves those motherfucking taxes. In fact, since he took office back in 2000, he has not cut taxes at all. On the other hand, this “fiscal dynamo” has supported several tax hikes, as well as new state business taxes, a business property tax, a cigarette tax, a fireworks tax and a toll road tax. Back in the day, as a Democrat, he supported a 5.7 billion dollar tax hike, the largest in Texas history!

What about cutting spending? Nope! The only thing this turkey cut was the concept of fiscal responsibility from his platform. When Perry took office after George W. Bush, state spending was at 49 billion dollars. Right now under Perry, spending is at 92.5 billion dollars. Well, at least he didn’t double it.. yet. Although Rick Perry has nearly tripled the state debt, as in 2000 it was at 13.4 billion dollars compared to today’s 37.3 billion dollars! The debt to GDP ratio is 22.9 percent, which equates to $10,645 per citizen. Now compare that to the 18.7 percent/$9,932 per citizen in the economically ravaged California. Dude’s a fucking rockstar of crap! I mean the debt in Texas under Perry has grown faster than the federal debt under George W. Bush and Barack Obama! Now that’s a fucking accomplishment!

Rick Perry also supported TARP because obviously he’s a real intelligent guy. He also authored a piece of legislation that tripled the amount of money that state legislators make. He received a bunch of farm subsidies. He signed into law the Texas Emissions Reduction Plan which is just climate change bullshit. He supported Lance Armstrong’s 3 billion dollar medical research center, which was obviously paid for with Texans’ tax dollars. He secured a 300 million dollar business handout slush fund, which was just corporate welfare for his friends and colleagues. 20 million of that went to Countrywide Financial which ended up going bankrupt anyway. He also supported Rudy Giuliani last election, who was the frontrunner in 2008 but eventually fell flat on his face.

When it comes to jobs and unemployment, Rick Perry isn’t as badass and effective as he and all the pundits claim. In fact, there are 23 states that have a lower unemployment rate than Texas and this is taking into account the huge Texas oil boom. Also, weekly wages increased about 5 percent in the United States from 2007 to 2011. In Texas however, they only raised by 0.6 percent. Texas also has the largest percentage of workers in the country making minimum wage. In fact, in 2007 221,000 Texans were making minimum wage or less. In 2011 that number has skyrocketed to 550,000! That’s more than double in just four years!

Rick Perry is a blatant liar about his economic credentials or he is just completely delusional, as is anyone who defends him after knowing the facts. Then again, you shouldn’t be selling this douche to the nation without knowing what the actual facts are. To do so is completely irresponsible and doesn’t fix a goddamned thing. In essence, those pushing Perry down our throats are contributing to the dismantling of liberty and the stupidification of America. Fuck you people.

5. The Illegal Immigration Ignorer:

Personally, I am not all that bothered by the huge debate over illegal immigration in this country. I feel that anyone who wants to come here for the right reasons and make a living and truly contribute to bettering America is more than welcome. Yes, I am aware that more often than not, this isn’t the case with many of the illegal immigrants flocking into our country now. However, the problem isn’t the immigration issue itself, it is the issue of the welfare state that creates this atmosphere of freeloading and entitlement. You can read more on my thoughts on the subject in the article “Conservatives & Aliens”. What I am bringing to the light here is Rick Perry’s hypocrisy on the whole issue.

Perry is a big fucking talker and when it comes to the immigration issue he is all gung ho at trying to convince his constituents that the borders need to be secured and that our national security is threatened with the border being wide-open. He’s doing everything he can or so he says. Essentially, Rick Perry is pandering to that large base of Texas voters who want more immigration enforcement.

The truth is that Rick Perry is doing nothing to prevent illegal immigrants from coming into Texas. In fact, illegal immigrants in Texas have added 17.7 billion dollars a year to the state gross product while benefiting from in-state tuition at public universities on top of other entitlements. While this was going on, it was the local governments and the hospitals that shared the burden in caring for this sect of the population. When fellow Republican Tom Tancredo from Colorado was pressuring other GOP leaders to stand firm on undocumented immigration, Rick Perry called him a “racist”.

In 2001, Rick Perry visited Mexico where he promoted his new law that granted the children of undocumented workers the ability to milk the system for a free ride to college. Under Perry, Texas became the first state to implement such a law. He went on to tell the people there, “The message is simple educacion es el futuro, y si se puede.” That translates to “Education is the future, and yes we can.” He borrowed that last line from Cesar Chavez a socialist and a legendary source of inspiration for union thugs everywhere.

In addition to forcing the taxpayer to pay for the education of immigrant children, Rick Perry also forced them to pay for several services such as drug treatment, mental health care, care for special needs children as well as many more freebies. He also keeps tapping into the taxpayer pot to buy cameras and other devices to attempt to “secure” the border but even with all that he just continues to ask the federal government for help. That just translates to dipping into the taxpayer pot of non-Texans for a Texan problem.

To a lot of conservatives, the issue of securing the border and combating undocumented immigration is one of the most important. To Rick Perry it is obviously a joke and his hypocrisy on the issue is very apparent. To conservatives reading this, you need to be aware where he stands on this issue. Then again, I don’t really think he even knows where he stands on it. Maybe he is just trying to please the huge number of hispanics in the state who have helped to get him elected for three terms.

6. The Bionic Bilderberger:

If you are even aware of what the Bilderberg Group is, the fact that Rick Perry is a member of this elite squad of globalist shitcocks should raise some red flags. For those who don’t know, the Bilderberg Group is an organization comprised of the world’s elite that meets annually to discuss the state and the fate of the world. The group meets in secret and the media is left in the dark about what goes on in these meetings. If the work going on at these meetings is noble, then why is it shrouded in mystery? Why does the organization go to such drastic lengths to beef up security and keep the attendees list out of public view? What is it that the leaders of our nations, the most powerful bankers and even the top media executives don’t want us to know?

I know a lot of you may be rolling your eyes at this conspiracy theory “nonsense” but all you have to do is dig a little bit and you’ll uncover the fact that these meetings do happen, these people do shape the world based off of what happens behind these closed doors and almost nearly every single president and various cabinet members in modern history have attended at least one Bilderberg meeting. It was reported that Rick Perry attended in 2007 (see here).

Since that meeting, Rick Perry has pushed forward with the building of the NAFTA superhighway that is being constructed right through the heart of Texas. This gargantuan road is going to eventually stretch from Mexico all the way up to Canada, intersecting the United States. This project is just the start of the globalist plan to create a North American Union between the U.S., Canada and Mexico. Yeah, this is pretty heavy stuff and some of you may be scoffing at the idea but as I’ve stated before, all you’ve got to do is dig a little and the data that supports this is readily available for you to scrutinize and ignore further.

Basically the NAU is our version of the EU or the European Union. Well, we’ve all now seen how well that idea worked out and do we really want to go that route? I’m sure Perry is all for it however if his economic record is any indicator. Then again, the same people pushing for this and the NAFTA superhighway are the same bankers involved in the Bilderberg Group and they have also contributed heavily to Perry’s third campaign for governor as well as his current campaign for president. Also, the companies behind the superhighway have become big supporters of Perry’s as well but really, those companies and the elite are made up of a lot of the same people. Again, do some digging if you question the validity of any of this.

Rick Perry has turned over Texas roads to the foreign company Cintra Concesiones de Infraestructuras de Transport. In doing so, Perry has stated that he was attempting to save Texans from additional taxation as well as finding a solution that didn’t involve him having to go to “the asphalt fairies” in Washington D.C. for help. Yet he can turn the construction and management of our infrastructure over to a foreign entity? And doesn’t he keep turning to the federal government for border security? I’m confused.

When Rick Perry was pressed about his involvement with the Bilderberg Group in a radio interview he simply said, “I found it to be an interesting group of people. I have yet to find out why they want to keep it a secret. I haven’t been invited back and that was 5 years ago, so I guess I didn’t impress them.” Governor Perry is full of shit and just because he hasn’t been back, if that is even true considering the level of secrecy within the group, it doesn’t mean that they aren’t still pulling some strings. The NAFTA superhighway is a huge string and so is the possibility of the NAU.

I find it kind of funny that Perry was ready to kick the TSA out of Texas but ultimately caved. Could that have been pressure from the mysterious elite? I also find it funny that immediately after the 2011 Bilderberg meeting Rick Perry’s name was suddenly being tossed around by the mainstream media as a potential presidential candidate. Odd that it was Fox News doing the propagandist promo work considering that their owner is none other than Rupert Murdoch, who is a major player in the Bilderberg Group as well as someone who just went through a major scandal with his British newspaper News of the World.

At least this last Bilderberg meeting actually had some press coverage. Media outlets outside the mainstream grasp have started paying attention and reporting on the event. It even made it on the Drudge Report. I guess crazy nutty conspiracy theorists like Alex Jones aren’t so crazy after all, now that major media outlets are starting to shine some light on these secretive annual events. But believe whatever the hell you want. Those of you in the know about this can understand why Rick Perry would be disastrous as our president. His interests aren’t the same as the interests of the American people.

7. Conclusion:

Rick Perry is certainly not a conservative and he certainly doesn’t fit the ideals of what the Tea Party represents. If you are a libertarian like me, he’s pretty much the fucking devil. This guy on the ballot would make me vote for Barack Obama, that is how bad I truly believe he is. It is time to wake up and see the forest for the trees and to stop believing all this manufactured hype presented to us by Fox News and other conservative media outlets that support this guy. Fuck, these damn media outlets are forcing this guy down our throats to the point that we’re all left gagging like porn starlets in the Governor’s self-produced film catalog.

As I stated, I can see where this article will be perceived as a blatant smear campaign against this scumbag but all I really did here was try to inform those of you who only get their information from the mainstream media. Many of the issues I discussed here have been kept out of public view and will continue to not be mentioned unless some brave soul on television is willing to put their career on the line to throw the establishment’s golden boy under the bus. Even then, the clueless plebeians, like O’Reilly and Hannity watchers, will just ignore it because unfortunately, most people don’t want to be informed. Ignorance is bliss and the cookies taste better when you don’t know that the chocolate chips are just rat feces.

Besides, when the media treats even the most plausible conspiracy theory as some nutty scheme dreamed up by some inbred maroon sipping battery acid in a shed, people run away from the idea and shun all others who may entertain it because they don’t want to be associated with the tinfoil hat wearing whackos. When one even mentions that the Gulf of Tonkin incident that started the Vietnam war was staged by our government, people go apeshit and call the person saying it a nutjob. It doesn’t matter that the government came out and admitted it later. This is why the Perry supporters write off anybody trying to educate them on the reality of their messiah. They just refuse to believe it because in doing so, their whole world is turned upside down; it’d be fucking anarchy! Their minds couldn’t handle the brave new world that they’d be forced to accept. Maybe it’s time to introduce a little chaos, it would definitely do this country some fucking good.

Where I sit, I just don’t have the time or the wherewithal to deal with those who keep themselves ignorant on purpose. I’ve said my peace, so you can either ignore it and call me names or you can pass the information on. Rick Perry will be the next President of the United States unless we do something about it. If he wins, I’m not going to even bother saying, “I told you so”. I’m just going to laugh when the country falls to shit and you’re still blaming everyone else for your problems. If you haven’t woken up by today, then you’re already too late. Tomorrow is what we make it today and right now, tomorrow looks like the American nightmare.

*Written by Rob Rimes.

1. Introduction:

So, just like with the last GOP primary debate of the 2012 presidential election cycle, I figured I would share my thoughts, my rants and my ravings about the latest debate last night. I am a bit fired up over a situation regarding how Ron Paul was treated after the election but I will write a separate article about that immediately following this one. On a side note, Bill O’Reilly wants you to go to his website because he promises the “best election coverage”. Bullshit! Fuck Bill O’Reilly! TheSwash.com is the greatest site for election coverage and pure unadulterated truth! That fucking hack doesn’t even know what Keynesian economics is! No really, he doesn’t (see for yourself here).

As far as the debate itself goes, this was by far the best one yet, minus the exclusion of Gary Johnson once again! Anyway, Fox News puts on a much better show than CNN and last night was no different. After being subjected to John King’s weird noises and horrible pop culture laced questions last round, this debate was refreshing. The best part of all was that the candidates FINALLY stopped playing nice and started taking some serious jabs at each other. The three biggest battles of the night were Bachmann v. Pawlenty, Paul v. Santorum and Gingrich v. Fox News (his employer).

In any event, the debate was much better than watching the alternative last night. All my friends were more interested in the first NFL preseason games than watching the GOP contenders fight for the top spot in a war against our current president and a culture of corruption that has given us an economy comprised of a bipolar stock market and a downgraded credit rating. But yeah, in America that shit isn’t important because a bunch of whiney overpaid prima donnas in tights and pads were playing a game that doesn’t even count for the fucking record books. People wonder why we are so fucked.

So fuck all that and let me break down the debate itself because that is what is truly important here.

2. Hour 1:

The debate immediately starts off with a question for Fox News’ second front-runner Michelle Bachmann. Her answer is typical as she is fishing for cheap pops from the crowd to start the night. Her short answer was laced with colorful regurgitated rhetoric like, “Let’s make Barack Obama a one term president!” Yay! Sorry lady, I like some of what you say but overly used catchphrases are only effective in sitcoms and comic books. Now I am not beating up on Bachmann here, she held her own for sure and did really well, especially against the attacks of Tim “Vanilla Beans” Pawlenty. I’ll get into the big battles of the night deeper into this article.

Fox News then immediately went to their handpicked primary front-runner Mitt Romney. Not only did Fox show that they were focused on pimping out Bachmann and Romney but they gave Mittens three fucking questions in a row! Three! Um.. homies, there are eight people on that stage. You should probably stop sucking Mitt’s balls out of the gate and give some time to the other candidates.

One thing I’ve noticed during this game of favoritism is that Romney and Bachmann are both placed at the very center of the stage. I’m not lobbying to be the new host of ‘Conspiracy Theory’ but I do find that a little odd with the way things have gone thus far in the debate. Moving on.

Fox News finally gets with it and moves around to ask some other candidates some questions. After the first round of uneventful answers and introductions the two guys in the lead where I sit are Ron Paul and Herman Cain. I just like what they had to say to start the night because they say things that fucking resonate. While I came to this assessment I also realized that Newt Gingrich still looks like Chucky, Rick Santorum looks like a racquetball player from a Speed Stick commercial, Jon Huntsman looks like a dapper Barney Fife and Tim Pawlenty likes to offer free services like cooking and cutting grass.

Speaking of which, T.Paw asked the audience in the arena and at home, “Where are all of Obama’s plans to fix stuff?” He said that there was nothing on his website and that the current POTUS isn’t offering any real solutions. He says that if anyone can tell him where Obama’s solutions are that he’ll either cook them dinner or cut their grass. M’kay dude, they’re in Karl Marx’s “Communist Manifesto”. Question answered! Now get working on some Chilean sea bass because I’m hungry.

The next big thing to happen was the moderator trying to stir the pot between T.Paw and Bachmann. T.Paw was asked about a negative statement he made about Bachmann but he immediately dodged the bullet, playing it safe as he always does, and flipped the script to bash Obama. There were a few cheap pops but the crowd wasn’t really pleased with the spineless swerve. Bachmann responded by running down T.Paw’s track record as governor and essentially slapped him around like a two dollar hoe. This created a mini shit storm between the two where T.Paw finally started taking shots and Bachmann just swatted him like a little fly again and again. Many pundits after the debate felt that this was bad for Bachmann, as she seemed to be stooping to a lower level, but I loved her fire and cojones. She ain’t taking no lip from some Vanilla Bean shitcock.

I do have to point out the lowest blow of the Bachmann-Pawlenty exchange though. It was definitely when T.Paw put the blame of the failed Democrat-led Congress on Bachmann’s shoulders. He essentially painted the picture that the debt crisis, Obamacare and everything else Skeletor Pelosi’s House did was somehow Bachmann’s sin to bear. Needless to say, everyone in the arena and at home saw through that bullshit. What little respect I had for Pawlenty was gone after that. The gloves were definitely off at this point and as hard as some of that rhetoric was to swallow, this sparked a change in attitude for the debate that brought out some of the candidates true colors. As far as Bachmann and Pawlenty go, I never knew Canadians could turn up the heat so much.

Chris Wallace, one of the Fox News moderators then turns the attention to Newt Gingrich and really sets off the former Speaker of the House. Wallace essentially asks Newt how he can swim when he lost the major players on his campaign staff, that his campaign has amassed a million dollars in debt and that the public perceives his campaign as a “mess”. Newt tells Wallace to stop with the “gotcha questions” and then gives him a serious earful that leaves the Fox News Sunday host nervously trying to defend his question. I’ve never seen Chris Wallace bow down like that, he’s usually able to get in there with the best of them. Newt wasn’t having any of it and for as much shit as I have talked about Newt for years, I had no choice but to respect him after the exchange with Wallace. Newt also laid the smackdown on Bret Baier and anyone else that asked him other “gotcha questions”. Newt showed that he has leadership qualities and that he wasn’t going to backtrack like a little bitch ala Pawlenty. Newt Gingrich put a smile on my face for the first time last night. Gingrich’s best line to the “gotcha” serving moderators was:

I’d love to see the rest of tonight’s debate asking us about what we would do to lead an America whose president has failed to lead, instead of playing Mickey Mouse games!

Chris Wallace then moves on to Jon Huntsman and keeps up the “gotcha questions”. He mentions that Huntsman was Obama’s Ambassador to China, that he claimed Obama’s stimulus package wasn’t big enough, that as governor he supported cap & trade and that he supports civil unions between same sex couples. Wallace then asks Huntsman if he is running for president under the wrong party banner. Huntsman doesn’t have a real answer, he just talks about his service to his country and how proud he is being the only person who perceives himself as awesome. His self-love fest is met with dead silence and absolutely no applause.

Shortly after that, Huntsman is asked about illegal immigration and goes on a rant about securing the border. Yeah dude, I want to build a spaceship out of pistachio ice cream. Nothing wrong with being a dreamer homie. All I will say about Huntsman is that he is the dumbest superhero ever! Ketchup manipulation is a lame power!

Herman Cain is then asked about questionable statements he has made in the past. His response to that is a mystery to me. Not to knock the guy, I was just distracted by how smooth and col he was. He’s twice as raw as Big Daddy Kane and as eloquent as the world’s greatest poet laureates. Cain has a way with words that most of the other candidates don’t. Essentially, Herman Cain made the silly media’s questions look like they were being asked by Dum Dums: my favorite flavor is coconut pineapple.

We then go through a rather boring phase where Ron Paul is nowhere to be seen. I am assuming he’s in the bathroom. Mitt Romney then talks about punishing businesses that hire illegals. That leads to everyone then randomly talking about moats and alligators. Lastly, Newt Gingrich proposes that we throw a bunch of Homeland Security people on the Mexican border.

Ooh.. Ron Paul is back in the mix on the illegal immigration issue and he makes some solid points. One point is that he doesn’t believe that the burden of being the immigration police shouldn’t be on the shoulders of businessmen. He then mentions that if a church feeds and helps illegals, we don’t blame the church but if a business owner does, we blame the businessman. Dr. Paul hits the nail on the head as far as I’m concerned. He then flips the script on the establishment Republicans on the stage and the panel when he asks why we are more concerned with controlling borders overseas and not our own. This leads to Ron Paul pleading to the American people that it is time to bring our troops home.

After bouncing around between candidates a bit, round two of the Bachmann-Pawlenty bout kicks off. When Bachmann is confronted about questionable decisions and votes in her past, she explains that she has learned from those mistakes and that moving forward, she is sticking to her platform. While every candidate preaches this, Bachmann seems incredibly sincere and even though I am a huge skeptic when it comes to political rhetoric, for some reason I do believe her. Pawlenty jabs and jabs but comes out of this round looking like a fucking toolshed. Michele Bachmann has the ability to bring out T.Paw’s inner weasel.

During the second round of the Bachmann-Pawlenty main event, Santorum starts whining that no one is paying attention to him. He is quickly blown off and ignored again. He uses that free time to post an ad for his exercise bike on Craigslist.

The subject of the new unconstitutional Super Congress is brought up. Newt Gingrich hates the idea, as do I. Being a former Speaker of the House, there are very few people that could understand the lunacy of this idea as much as Mr. Gingrich. He goes into a great explanation of how idiotic and asinine the idea is. Newt is winning some points, as far as I see it. He’s doing pretty damn good for a guy that lost most of his posse a few months back.

T.Paw then gets back in the fray and is asked about his “Obomneycare” comment from months back that he originally caved on when in front of Romney the last debate. T.Paw then tries to take it to Mitt, feeling the testosterone from the Bachmann battle but Vanilla Bean is just too nice. It’s like he’s afraid he’ll lose a friend if he says too much. Is that a leadership quality?

This naturally flows into asking Romney about health care and his Romneycare plan versus the Obamacare plan. Of course Mittens tells us that they were different and avoids really having to break it down. He claims that he will repeal Obamacare and that it really comes down to states rights via the 10th Amendment. Romney goes on a 10th Amendment rant which is great because the 10th Amendment is fucking dope! However, hypocrisy is on the horizon as later on in the night, Romney flip-flops on the ultimate awesomeness of the 10th Amendment.

Ron Paul steps in and educates the establishment dicks on health care and it’s relation to corporatism and how that is the root of the real problem. It’s not like they are even paying attention or getting it. I mean he’s fucking nuts, right? Free market solutions to health care are just crazy. Oh wait.. the crowd roars with cheers and thunderous applause.

Rick Santorum opens his mouth and shit literally falls out. No, for real! He doesn’t “get” the Constitution and starts getting all religious and shit. This is why he won’t even come close to winning this election. He disses Ron Paul’s stance as he tries to justify his unconstitutional ideals by referencing America’s biggest tyrant of a POTUS Abraham Lincoln. Then, acting quickly, like the mainstream midgets they are, Fox News cuts to a commercial break leaving Ron Paul without the opportunity to respond to Santorum’s call for “moral enterprise”.

3. Hour 2:

We come back from commercial break and hey! Where’s Michele Bachmann? Oh, there she is strolling back on stage late. Women are never punctual! I hope this isn’t a sign of how she will run things as president. My inside source informed me that she was tearing up a dope ass crescent roll! No worries Bachmann, I can’t walk by one without having to throw down on it either.

So immediately Bret Baier decides to waste time by asking every single candidate how they feel about a potential candidate that isn’t even there, Rick Perry. Why even ask that? Well, Rick Perry is Fox News’ dream candidate, even more so than Romney. They’ve been pimping him out for months now and there isn’t a single day that goes by where someone at Fox News doesn’t give us a Rick Perry update. Fuck that douche! Ron Paul and Herman Cain ain’t worried ’bout no Rick Perry and Huntsman took a nice jab at him.

Now they name drop Sarah Palin to waste time getting the candidates take on another hypothetical. Michele Bachmann gets goofily excited and talks about how they are best friends and trade My Little Pony accessories. Newt Gingrich reminds us of another hypothetical in Rudy Giuliani. He then talks up Perry. C’mon Newtie Bootie, you were doing well thus far!

For the next segment the moderators take us into the War on Terror and foreign threats to the United States. T.Paw tries to get some cheap pops spewing the same tired rhetoric. I almost sensed that he was going to drop the word “evildoers” but lucky for us he held it back. Romney proved that he has no idea how the War on Terror works or what is really going on. He says that the people want freedom. M’kay, if that’s the case let’s get the fuck out of there and let them be free! Oh, but the Taliban will waltz right in eight seconds later. Whether that’s true or not, does that justify anymore dead soldiers? Well, most of you voting for most of these candidates seem to think so.

Newt Gingrich gets irritated with yet another “gotcha question”. He then says some stuff but I got up to get a glass of bourbon and a quesadilla. He sounded like he was bringing the fire again, which I like. Homeboy is not going to roll over and die like everyone thought he would.

As I sit back down with my 100 proof beverage and my cheesy Mexican treat, Huntsman is taking about how a cyberattack is an act of war. Shit man, hackers going ape shit means we have to blow some people up? Shit’s gonna get messy! I’m sure they are referring to Iran and China and shit but LulzSec and Anonymous are blowin’ up right now!

Now we get to some good shit, as Chris Wallace tries his “gotcha” tactics with Ron Paul in bringing up that he stated that Iran has the right to build nuclear weapons to defend themselves in a world where so many other countries have their own nukes. Ron Paul mentions that even the CIA has come out and said that there isn’t any real evidence that Iran is working on building nukes. He then uses the Cold War as an example while informing us that he served in the Air Force during the height of the Soviet threat. In regards to this he says:

We were standing up against the Soviets. They had like 30,000 nuclear weapons with intercontinental missiles. Just think of the agitation and the worry about a country that might get a nuclear weapon some day. And just think of how many nuclear weapons surround Iran. The Chinese are there. The Indians are there. The Pakistanis are there. The Israelis are there. The United States is there. All these countries … why wouldn’t it be natural if they might want a weapon? Internationally, they might be given more respect. Why should we write people off? In the Fifties, we at least talked to them. At least our leaders and Reagan talked to the Soviets. What’s so terribly bad about this? And countries you put sanctions on you are more likely to fight them. I say a  policy of peace is free trade, stay out of their internal business, don’t get involved in these wars and just bring our troops home.

The crowd pops like a motherfucker! Of course this was probably over the heads of most people on that stage and the moderators. In fact, Chris Wallace had to question Ron Paul on what he had just heard because in his mind, Dr. Paul must be crazy and he needed clarification. Ron Paul continued with:

Why would it be so strange if the Soviets and Chinese have nuclear weapons? We tolerated the Soviets, we didn’t attack them and they were a much greater danger. They were the greatest danger to us in our whole history. But you don’t go to war against them.

Rick Santorum is apparently offended by Paul’s statements because Santorum is a whiney hoe. He then interrupts a question for Herman Cain to respond to Ron Paul. Of course he flat out lies and claims that the Iranians have killed more Americans than the Iraqis and Afghanis in both Iraq and Afghanistan. As a part of his bullshit lie, he states that we’ve been at war with Iran since 1979. Um.. no we haven’t. So Ron Paul has to quickly remind this fucktard weasel that our history with Iran goes all the way back to 1953 when we intervened and assisted a coup in Iran which eventually backfired and created the problems we have today. Santorum is a fucking moron and even with his blatant lies, he couldn’t trump the master of foreign policy, who is also the biggest anti-war voice on stage. And why does Santorum call them Erranians? Learn how to talk you simple fuck.

Michele Bachmann who is the Tea Party darling and libertarian leaning shows her true colors when she perpetuates the War on Terror hysteria that the Republicans always use. Just when you think she’s going to cross the Rubicon over to the shores of reality, she puts her foot in her mouth. Too bad for her.

All these candidates except for Paul subscribe to the theory that if we are carrying the big stick, no one else can. If you can’t see how that is the opposite of freedom and liberty than I can’t help you.

Wallace then refers to a comment made by Santorum where he said that Eric Holder must be “smoking mushrooms”. Okay dude, you really are a simple fuck Santorum! You don’t smoke fucking mushrooms! Man, I should just chill out and go drink a big glass of marijuana.

Now the moderator from the Examiner keeps saying “mooslims”. They’re not fucking cows, they’re people dummy! Then he presses Herman Cain on how he always has something to say about other religions, like Mormonism and Islam. He diplomatically explains that he wants to understand how Mormonism fits with Christianity. With Islam he states that he is against Sharia Law as the Constitution is the law of the land and we can’t strip it away in an effort to be sensitive or politically correct. Kudos sir, kudos.

Michele Bachmann then finds herself to be the victim of the strangest question of the night when the Examiner moderator asks her if she would be “submissive” to her husband. After thirty seconds of boos from the crowd and awkward silence from Bachmann she states that she respects and loves her husband. This moment was fucking weird but it gave Bachmann a window to mention her 127 kids.

Now remember when I warned you that 10th Amendment champ Mitt Romney was going to fly the hypocrisy flag earlier in this article? Well, that flag was flying high when the subject of gay marriage came up. We see through you ass clown! Now you think that this issue should be decided at the federal level? Really? Here goes another establishment dickbag trying to justify the stripping of OUR constitutional rights so he can force us to live within the rules of HIS religious faith. Typical. Fucking. Republican.

Huntsman then lets us know that he supports civil unions between gays and lesbians. He then immediately tries to trump Bachmann when he mentions his huge legion of children. After that, Ron Paul pimps out the 10th Amendment like Romney should’ve and he then warns about the actions people like Romney would like to implement. That being the action of forcing everyone to comply with their belief system and their “morals”.

Of course bitch ass whiner Santorum is disgusted and tries to drown us in more of his deluded self-righteous holier-than-thou bullshit. He brags about how he came to Iowa and got rid of three justices who supported gay marriage. Rick Santorum saved the state from man-on-man buttsex. Guys like Santorum are usually the first to sign up for amateur night at the drag show. He hates gays because he hates the part of himself that he can’t show the world. Santorum is a walking fucking tragedy. He should also put down Racquetball Weekly and read some Murray Rothbard.

Pawlenty then gets the abortion question and he states that he would punish abortion doctors but not patients seeking abortions. Yeah man, that makes perfect fucking sense. T.Paw is referred to as “the most pro-life candidate”. I think they fucked up reading their notes and they meant to say “the most pro-lame candidate”. Vanilla Bean is nowhere near as whacked as Santorum but he’s drowning in this race very quickly.

Pawlenty’s lameness is then followed by more lameness when Romney and Huntsman just give us empty insincere filler for several minutes. Off screen, Santorum is having trouble changing his tampon while he’s covered in tears.

Bachmann then gets a chance to express why she voted against the Boehner bill to raise the debt limit. Ron Paul and Herman Cain obviously get where she’s coming from as she explains why raising the debt ceiling is madness. She cites the downgraded credit rating by Standard & Poor’s as proof that she made the right decision. Cain admits that he was also against it.

Next up, Newt declares his love for having a central bank. What the fuck dude?! You were doing so goddamned well and you really just fucked up in my book. Where the hell is Andrew Jackson’s ghost to cook this turkey?! Oh wait! Ron Paul serves up some heat and educates Gingrich on why the Federal Reserve needs to be destroyed. We all know that Newt ain’t listening though.

Oh fuck! Santorum is still there? He’s against the gold standard and then takes more cheap shots at Ron Paul. Santorum is feasting on sour bitch grapes. Man the fuck up and stop being a little bitch dude! This guy looks like absolute shit at this point. People pulling for Santorum in this election need to check their ass. He’s against the gold standard?! Really?!

The debate concludes with a short exchange about education where Huntsman and Cain say that they are against No Child Left Behind. After that we are subjected to the generic closing comments we always get. Luckily we weren’t bombarded with URLs this time. Maybe they held back because Pawlenty and Santorum’s campaign managers thought it would be a waste of money to renew the domains for another year.

4. Conclusion:

This was the best debate so far in the 2012 presidential election cycle. Some people shined, a few sunk. Sure I am biased towards Ron Paul but he was under fire a lot and he continually brought it hard against all comers and made all of his points clearly. Bachmann did really well in my opinion. Gingrich didn’t make me a believer but he did win a lot of points overall. Herman Cain was good but he needs to turn it up a few notches. However, I was pleased that he wasn’t repeating his catchphrases over and over or counting down his solution talking points numerically. Because of that, Cain’s performance was an improvement over the last debate. The other four candidates can suck a dick, especially that jackass fucksack Santorum.

So without further ado, as this article’s title asks, “Who won the debate?” I do have to give you an answer. Well, after watching this damn thing three times and after taking a fuckload of notes, I gave each candidate a letter grade. Here they are from best to worst:

Grading Scale:
Grade A: Ron Paul
Grade B+: Michele Bachmann
Grade B: Newt Gingrich
Grade B-: Herman Cain
Grade C: Mitt Romney
Grade D+: John Hunstsman
Grade D:Tim Pawlenty
Grade F: Rick Santorum
Grade I: Gary Johnson