*Written by Rob Rimes.

Let me start by saying that even though I’ve referred to other debates as the worst, this one definitely took the cake and showed us just how godawful these things can be. This debate came to us from Tampa, Florida and was hosted by NBC. Brian Williams was the moderator and he was a shitty one at that. To start, there were no intros and the audience was not allowed to participate in any way. This means that the crowd could not applaud, boo or get fired up like they have in most previous debates. While I understand that this is done to speed up the process and fit in more quality time with the candidates, it creates bad television and boring debates, especially when the candidates argue incessantly for long periods of time and the moderator is too chicken shit to break it up and stick to his own rules regarding time. My biggest regret about watching this goddamned thing is that I only had one beer in the whole fucking house. I was also too lethargic from a 20 oz. New York strip to get up and mix a stronger drink. At least the ecstasy I got from my giant piece of premium American red meat kept me from losing my shit and going completely insane throughout this episode of ‘Three Statists and a Constitutionalist’.

So we start with Newt Gingrich being asked to respond to Mitt Romney recently calling him “erratic” and a “failed leader”. Woohoo! Here we go already starting with the personal attacks over policy issues. Gingrich immediately dropped several Reagan references and was shocked that he didn’t get any applause. Oh yes, the crowd must stay silent or be forced to stare into the droopy eyes of Brian Williams who has been known to turn people into hipster liberals with just a quick glare. This didn’t bode well for Newt as he was waiting for the crowd to react to his empty one-liners. Gingrich said he was like Reagan, who ignored Carter and went on to win the election. Really Newt? You’re ignoring the attacks against you? Funny, because every show I’ve seen you on, you’ve just gone on and on about all the attacks against you.

Gingrich is immediately given a second question, as Williams asks him how he has changed since being Speaker of the House. Gingrich says that as Speaker he had four consecutive balanced budgets, which he says is unheard of. He also brags about how many jobs he created and how he reformed welfare. This is also funny because in a recent interview he took the Romney approach and said government doesn’t create jobs the private sector does. So which is it Newt?

Brian Williams then directs his attention to Mitt and I can already tell that Paul and Santorum are probably going to get the shaft on time this round. Romney is asked if he is electable, which is a dumb fucking question. It’s a dumb question when anyone is asked this, really. Romney talks about how he saved the Olympics and created tons of businesses. He doesn’t actually answer the question he just runs through his already well-known yet well-rehersed talking points. He then switches to attacks on Gingrich and disses him for talking bad about the Paul Ryan Plan and for aligning with Nancy Pelosi on several occasions.

Newt Gingrich says that he isn’t going to spend the entire evening “chasing Mitt’s misinformation.” Yes he will, just keep reading. Gingrich says that the American people need a discussion on how the candidates are going to beat Obama and that they need to move passed the bullshit. Romney jumps in and points out that 88 percent of the Republicans in the House of Representatives voted against Newt, which caused him to resign from his position in disgrace. Mitt also points out that Newt’s approval rating when he left Congress was 18 percent. Romney then takes a stiff shot at Gingrich when he says that we can’t retake the White House if the person leading the fight was in the pocket of Freddie Mac. This fight then goes on forever and Brian Williams just lets them duke it out regardless of time restraints and the fact that there are other candidates who haven’t even talked yet. Gingrich tries to explain how he left Congress, which is all bullshit and just leads to him arguing with Romney over who has the most inaccurate attack ads. I thought you were ignoring the attacks and weren’t going to spend the evening “chasing Mitt’s misinformation”? Can we please discuss the real issues?!

Rick Santorum finally gets asked a question and as much as I loathe the guy, I’m glad to see him at this point. Of course he is asked to comment on the Romney-Gingrich spat because Brian Williams wants the two feuding idiots to be front and center to help discredit the GOP as a whole. Santorum rambles some nonsense about painting a positive vision for the country and adds that he creates a real contrast to Mitt and Newt. Um, not really homeboy unless you’re referring to the religio-fascist part. Santorum then claims to “..have a track record of being a strong conservative.” Well that depends on what your definition of a conservative is, as it varies greatly from candidate to candidate.

Brian Williams then takes a shot at Santorum and says that he lost his seat in the Senate by 18 percent. This was of course after Santorum bragged about winning the seat in a liberal state. Santorum responds to the criticism by saying that the Republican governor in Pennsylvania lost worse than he did that same year. What the fuck does that have to do with anything? Santorum also physically crouched down when he was rambling incoherently and actually said the word “crouch down”. Thanks for the visual buddy.

Finally Ron Paul gets brought into this thing! Williams reminds us that Paul once said that he never visualized himself as winning the nomination so why does he think he can win now. Paul says that he doesn’t sit around and dream about being in the White House like everyone else on stage. He points out that, according to polls, when he is put head-to-head with Obama he has a better chance at beating him than anyone else in the GOP. Paul also clues the masses into the fact that Iowa was just a straw poll and the real winner hasn’t yet been decided, as it will be the person who acquires the most delegates. He’s asked if he will run third party because every goddamned moderator has to seemingly ask this question. Once again, Ron Paul says that he has no intentions to do so. He is then asked if he would ever support Newt. Paul gives Gingrich props on his stance with the Federal Reserve and the gold standard but adds that he needs to change his stance on foreign policy. Newt responds by giving Paul some props on economic issues.

They then get into the boring topic of Mitt Romney’s tax returns which just shifts all the attention back to Tweedledum and Tweedledumber – that being Romney and Gingrich, you can choose which is which. Romney says that his income tax info will show how he made profits and rewards. He then goes on to claim that he’ll drop corporate tax rates while reshaping the entire tax code in an effort to simplify it. Gingrich jumps in and channels Mitt’s dad, who released a dozen years worth of tax information. Newt then says something about a Hong Kong tax model. This guy’s always pulling obscure shit from other countries. Romney jumps back in and says he and his father disagreed on many things and unlike his dad, he will only release a few years worth of his personal tax data. Romney then goes on to say that he inherited nothing and made his own mark in the world. He name drops Staples, Sports Authority and Steel Dynamics as ten minutes have passed without mentioning them. Truthfully, I think everything Mitt says is a pre-recorded statement and he just moves his lips to the words.

The mic in this rap battle is then passed back over to Santorum. He takes a shot at Newt and Mitt when he says that they claim to support capitalism but how can they make that claim when they supported the bailouts. Santorum says that we should have allowed these moronic financial institutions go through bankruptcy. What some people might not know though is that Rick Santorum wasn’t in office at the time of the bailouts so he couldn’t vote on TARP; so it is easy for him to say he didn’t support it. When looking a little deeper however, Rick Santorum did support the bailout of the airline industry. So would he have really rejected TARP? Based off of the $15 billion dollar airline bailout and his past voting record with other things, Santorum looks to be a pro-TARP motherfucker. Lucky for him he lost his seat in the Senate and didn’t get stuck with TARP on his record.

Newt is asked about more criticism from Mitt, who apparently claimed Gingrich “peddled influence” with Freddie Mac. Why couldn’t this be addressed the first time in this very same debate when Newt was asked to comment on Mitt’s criticisms? Time wasting bullshit! Newt said he never “peddled influence” and added that Romney’s approach about the Freddie Mac situation is nasty. Gingrich claims that he never lobbied for them and actually says that he brought in experts to teach his staff how to not lobby. Sorry, I just find that laughable. Romney quickly lashes back at Gingrich saying that Freddie Mac doesn’t pay “historians” as much as they paid Newt. Romney also points out that Gingrich was pushing GSEs every chance he got, which is a form of lobbying. Newt said he only made $35,000 per year, which is a lie. Why do people like either of these shady bastards? Aren’t Americans sick of criminals in power?

The Mitt-Newt show goes on for a long time as these two duke it out with no buzzer going off and Brian Williams sitting quiet – wasting our precious fucking time on this bitch fight. Williams, after minutes of this nonsense finally cuts in to stop it but only because NBC has to go to commercial break. Brian Williams has the spine of a squid.

After the commercial break, the issue of the housing crisis comes up. Santorum is the first person asked to address it. He claims that he saw the crisis on the horizon and tried to stop it. Yep asshole but you were about a decade behind Ron Paul on seeing it. Santorum, while explaining his fallacious knowledge on the subject, actually utters the phrase: “Let capitalism work.” Hilarious! This guy doesn’t know what capitalism is! Santorum immediately follows up his pro-capitalism line by saying that the government needs to step in and help the people who have lost their houses. Here we go with the doublespeak! Santorum continues by saying that people need the freedom to get out from under these houses and get relief. Really dude? Just “let capitalism work”?

On the same issue, Paul is asked if the government owes the people anything. Paul says that they owe the people a free market and sound money. He says that the interest rates were kept too low for far too long. Ron Paul says that he introduced legislation to help prevent the housing bubble from bursting years before it actually did. He declares that the bubble and the consequences of these actions were easy to spot but no one in Washington did. Paul says that the government needs to get out of the way. He then closes by saying that the Federal Reserve dumped so much debt on the taxpayers after wiping the slate clean with banks and corporations they bailed out.

Brian Williams, who apparently wants to suck Mitt’s dick, gives us another Mitt-Newt session when he brings them in on the housing issue. Romney says that the government has to help the people they fucked but immediately after that says that the government has to get out of it. Which is it bro? Gingrich says we need to repeal Dodd-Frank as it would improve the economy overnight. He says that the bill led big banks to get bigger. Newt is asked if the financial system is overregulated, which just proves how stupid Brian Williams is. Romney jumps back in to monopolize more time and says that the markets need regulation to work. What? What happened to capitalism? He then adds that we need up-to-date regulation not that old shitty regulation.

Williams, who wants to keep Romney in the spotlight, switches the subject and asks him about opening up Cuba. Mitt actually says that he’d be glad if Fidel Castro died and went to see his maker.. WTF?! Romney says we can’t talk about opening up Cuba but we need to support those in the country who want freedom. Okay, so how are we supporting them by contributing to making their economy shit? Why do you think that it is so easy for Castro to convince his people that America is bad? This is why! Romney wants to help Cubans by punishing them and not “giving in”.

Gingrich adds to Romney’s “glad when Castro’s dead” comment by saying that he won’t meet his maker but that he’ll essentially go to Hell. Newt starts talking about a “Cuban Spring”. He says that we need to reach out to younger Cubans who want freedom. Of course he, like Mitt, wants to do this without working with them in a productive and positive way. These guys must believe in magic.

When the discussion shifts back over to Ron Paul, he says that he has a lot to teach these guys on foreign policy. Ron Paul calls Newt and Mitt’s tactics “isolationist”. Funny watching Ron flip the script when every idiot out there calls him an “isolationist” as the idiots don’t really get what it means. Paul points out that the Cold War is over and the Cuban Missile Crisis was 50 years ago. He adds that we prop up Castro with our sanctions and embargo as it helps him stay in power by gaining support through pointing the finger of blame at the United States. Paul reminds the candidates that we used to talk to the Soviets and currently talk to the Chinese while we’ve had major problems with both. He even adds that we went in and talked to the Vietnamese after the disastrous Vietnam War. He says that we are living in the dark age if we are going to refuse to talk to Cuba.

Santorum, who apparently ignored Paul’s great insight, calls for us to use sanctions against Cuba until the Castro brothers die. He says that for right now we have to keep the current policy active and we shouldn’t embrace Cuba until the dictators are dead. Santorum then goes on a dumb tangent about how Cuba works directly with jihadists. Here we go with the fear mongering!

On Iran, Romney says we need to build a super strong military to scare the fuck out of everyone. Gingirch says that we are a country that likes peace and stability. Apparently he means between all the wars he wants to bring forth. Gingrich adds that he feels that we should defend the freedom of the sea. He then shares his thoughts on Obama, saying that Iran keeps testing us because our president is weak. Ron Paul gets in the Iran talk and says that our blockade of Iran’s strait is an act of war and tells us to imagine if the roles were reversed. Paul points out that Iran needs the Strait of Hormuz as much as we do. He warns us all that we have too many wars and the thought of invading Iran is ridiculous as we don’t have any money.

Santorum is asked how he would attack Iran when they have such a large target list. Santorum doesn’t answer that, he immediately goes right into the fear mongering he is so good at. He says that if Iran gets a nuke, the whole world will change. He then says that Obama’s Iran policy is a failure and feels that no one in power is serious about the Iranian threat. He then claims that Iran’s leadership is the equivalent to having a country ran by Al-Qaeda. He hammers the point that it is reckless to not try and stop Iran from building a nuke. He then flips the script and starts rambling about manufacturing and energy in Florida.

The candidates are then asked why it is okay for them to court voters in Spanish while they are all in favor of English as a national language. Gingrich says that the common bond that unites a country is one language. He says that there will be 300-400 languages used in the U.S. very soon so we need to unify the people with just one. Romney agrees with Newt before rambling about Massachusetts teachers teaching in other languages. Ron Paul steps in and says that we need to have one language at the national level but adds that if states want ballots in Spanish, such as Florida, it is their right to do so. Paul says that you can make English the official federal language without interfering in what the states want to do.

On illegal immigration, Newt says that the children of illegals should be allowed to join the military so they can go off and die for his senseless wars. Romney says he would not sign the DREAM Act in its current form but he would if it included military service. Romney then goes on a weird rant that illegals should “self-deport” themselves, go back to their country of origin and apply for legal citizenship. Santorum, who didn’t think the “self-deportation” comments were obscure, says that people have been self-deporting for awhile now due to our shitty economy. Santorum keeps referring to illegal immigrants as “they” as if they are something other than individuals.

Newt is asked about sugar and goes on to ramble about sugar types. Romney, who gets a bunch of money from Florida sugar farmers, says that we need to kill sugar subsidies. He then goes on a rant about homes in Florida, diverting his attention away from sugar. Romney says that too many homes in Florida are underwater. OMG! Global warming is drowning us! Oh.. wait.. that was a figure of speech.

Ron Paul is asked some dumb question about saving the Everglades and then we go to a commercial break. Why couldn’t they ask that dummy Santorum about the Everglades? He’s a snake, he’d have more invested in the issue. We also get Williams asking abut the Terry Schiavo case, which happened years ago and has nothing to do with anything that is going on right now. Gingrich and Paul address it but it is just a time-waster.

Romney is asked if space is a priority. He says “yes” but adds that Obama doesn’t have a real vision for NASA and because of that, Florida is suffering. Actually dude, I live in Florida and I’m doing okay, so don’t speak for me. Mitt says that the right mission for NASA needs to be determined by the president. Um.. I thought you were a capitalist guy? Romney then adds that NASA shouldn’t be solely funded by the government but that it should be funded by a collaborative effort of the military and companies that have ties and can benefit from the institutions work.

Keeping with Romney, he is asked what he’s done to promote conservatism. Mitt gives the stupidest answer when he says that he has created a family and worked in the private sector. Really, that’s your answer? Gingrich is then brought in and asked to comment on Mitt and replies with, “I don’t want to spend my time commenting on Mitt.” Well what the fuck was he doing the first half of this goddamned debate?! Santorum jumps in and rants and whines about a bunch of shit regarding Gingrich and Romney not being as conservative as he is.

Brian Williams then asks Ron Paul if Gingrich and Romney are insufficiently conservative. Why didn’t Williams ask if Santorum was? Ron Paul says that it all depends on what your definition of conservative is. He points out that conservatives have lost their way completely and asks how can a person be conservative when they’ll cut food stamps but won’t stop wasteful spending overseas. He adds that you can’t have smaller government if you keep creating all these wars. He also adds that you can’t promote personal liberty and then try to legislate all the crap that the GOP wants.

Mittens says that he has a solid conservative record, just look at it. Okay dickbag. He then diverts and brags about how Ted Kennedy had to take a loan out on his house to beat him in the governor’s race back in the 90′s. Yeah, he still beat you dude. He finishes his soulless rambling by saying he will repeal Obamacare and leave health care up to the states.

Gingrich is asked about his numbers being on the rise and what scares him the most about possibly becoming president. He just says that the next president will face enormous problems. No shit cuntpickle! He then warns that there are too many huge special interest groups working against the country and only for their own benefit. Somehow he expects to defeat that. This ends the debate, twenty minutes early and Brian Williams introduces NBC’s crack staff to analyze the debate for the remainder of the time. I turn off the TV.

God this shit was awful.

Grading Scale:
Grade B: Ron Paul
Grade D+: Newt Gingrich
Grade D: Rick Santorum
Grade D-: Mitt Romney

*Written by Rob Rimes.

I’ve lost count of all the debates that we’ve had thus far but thank god we only have another half dozen or so, unless of course they decide to work more into the schedule somewhere. This one was thrown by Fox News and held in South Carolina as their primary is less than a week away. Fox News gave us Bret Baier and Juan Williams with Kelly Evans and Gerald Seib from the Wall Street Journal as moderators for this round. I should mention that answers in this debate have been expanded to ninety seconds, as the GOP field is now narrowed down to five. Yes, five.

The reason being, is that Jon Huntmsman dropped out of the race earlier in the day. Huntsman, who was great on foreign policy, jumped ship and announced his endorsement for golden boy Mitt Romney. What’s disappointing about that is Huntsman was incredibly critical of Romney even less than a week prior. Huntsman went as far as to call Romney “unelectable” but now he is supporting him as he sees him as the best chance at beating Barack Obama. Huntsman lost a lot of credibility with me due to his blooming Romney love. Maybe it’s a Mormon thing or maybe it’s because they are both actually cousins, which has been ignored by the media mind you. Whatever the reason, Huntsman is out and he’s now on the Romney train like so many other so-called “conservatives” that aren’t able to see their own progressive ways. At least Huntsman can go back to his regular job of walking around on eight legs and scaring the shit out of Australians.

Newt Gingrich gets the first question and he is asked about his ads that attack Mitt Romney’s business record and if he thinks they are justified. Newtie Bootie says that it is important to look at and analyze job creation. He then quickly gets in a Ronald Reagan name drop and follows it up with a second Ronald Reagan name drop when he said that he and Clinton came up with a Reagan-like program for job creation in the 90′s. Newt points to the fact that Mitt raised taxes in Massachusetts and was actually ranked 47th out of 50 states in the realm of job creation. He stole that talking point from Jon Huntsman. Gingrich adds that if Romney promotes his business skills as part of his campaign then he, as a rival candidate, has the right to question it. He is then asked what he thinks about the Wall Street Journal criticizing him and saying that he is “embarrassing himself” with his attack ads against Mitt Romney. Gingrich responds by saying that he isn’t intimidated by the media just because he is asking questions about candidates.

In an effort to respond, Mitt Romney says that he has real experience in job creation due to his time in the private sector. Mitt says that he learned a lot from working in the private sector, as opposed to the other candidates who have spent much of their time in the public sector. He talks about how four of the companies he helped establish have gone on to create hundreds-of-thousands of jobs. Mitt adds that his record is public and available to anyone that wants to analyze his job creation skills. He claims that he has continually demonstrated a record of success. Romney points out that the unemployment rate in Massachusetts when he left was 4.7 percent. He also throws in that he balanced the state budget every year.

Rick Perry, in an effort to make this debate all about Mitt, is asked about his comments where he referred to Mitt Romney as a “vulture capitalist”. Perry is also asked what he would put in place to curb vulture capitalism. Perry says that his record proves that he is a real capitalist. Really? Tweaking the law and protecting a company that you own a stake in from getting in trouble for distributing porn illegally is the actions of a real capitalist? You mean taking money from Merck and then attempting to force young girls to be vaccinated with Merck products is also the action of a real capitalist? Looks like Perry is a fucking vulture too from where I sit. He then goes on to bitch like a liberal about how Bain destroyed jobs. He then tells us that his record and income tax has been public for years and uses that to call out Mitt and then asks him to release his income tax information so that the public can see how he really made his money. Perry then rambles about killing Dodd-Frank and talks about how regulations are strangling America. He adds that he will get rid of some of the financial regulators. He didn’t say “all of them”.

Responding to Perry, as this is the Romney variety hour, Mitt blames the Chinese and their cheating ways for closing down the steel mills Rick Perry was blaming Mitt for closing. Romney says that he agrees with Perry about regulations but never really defends himself in a proper fashion other than pointing his finger at China. Romney, on the regulations issue, claims that he will end all Obama era regulations. I guess the regulations from the Bush era, the Clinton era and all other eras aren’t important.

So just when you think that’s over, Gerald Seib asks Romney a question! Fucking hell! Romney answers the question, which was abut his experience at Bain. He says that they often times consolidated plants and factories and if they closed one down, the workers were free to move to the new plant or factory. He points out though that many workers didn’t move as the new jobs didn’t come with union support.

Ron Paul is asked about his “scathing” attack ads and whether or not such ads should be abandoned. Well, considering he’s running them, I doubt he’ll feel that they should be abandoned, duh! Paul responds by saying that he is exposing voting records and in that case, his “attacks” are proper. He goes on to say that he couldn’t fit everything he wanted to in his anti-Santorum ad as there wasn’t enough time to get it all in. He then goes on to list all the dumb crap that Santorum voted for.

Thin skinned piss boy Rick Santorum says that Paul is quoting Soros-like leftist groups which discredits his facts because leftist groups attack conservatives. Santorum basically says that being attacked by leftist groups is a badge of honor and he’s proud of the distinction. What a stupid fucktard! It doesn’t matter what the source is, the fact is the facts are FACTS! You can’t just ignore your own voting record and try to spin it to the public as leftist propaganda! Santorum who voted for No Child Left Behind says that he would veto it now. Of course he would, he’s pandering to South Carolinians. He then defends his vote against “right to work” as he says that Pennsylvania wasn’t a “right to work” state. Santorum who is outraged over the attacks on himself is then put on the spot by Juan Williams who asks if Santorum’s own attack ads should be pulled. The crowd boos Juan because they are idiot assholes and Santorum goes on to says that his attacks are “positive”. He then gets all bitchy with Mitt about his attack ads while citing the fact that it is Martin Luther King Day to make some dimwitted point. Why do people support this whiney juvenile brat?

Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum get in a spat about whether or not people who have committed violent crimes should be allowed to vote. I get bored to tears listening to them bicker as basically each candidate is trying to steal time from the other in order to make their lame ass points. While I’d like there to be some blood in these things, pink ass bitch blood isn’t as cool to see as the reddish bad ass real American blood. I was really just staring in awe waiting for these two Tinas to breakout with some limp-wristed slap fighting. And just when you think it’s over, Rick Perry jumps in the battle over who has the filthiest tampon.

Time monopolizer Mitt Romney is asked about Jon Huntsman’s recent criticism even though he came out and endorsed him. He is also asked how he can convince the voter that he won’t change his views in the future as he has a career as a flip-flopper. Mittens rambles on and on about how he was a pro-life governor contrary to popular belief and that he has always opposed gay marriage. However he adds that he is for equal rights for everyone including gays. Okay, so how is denying them marriage equal? Damn these Orwellian characters! Romney ends his soulless rant by saying that everything he has ever done and will do is about “strengthening America.”

In an effort to make himself relevant again, Rick Perry said that Texas was under assault by the federal government and then added that South Carolina was at war with Obama. The cheap pop attempt works and the crowd goes crazy. Too bad Perry is crazier than the crowd, he’s still deader than shit in this race. Perry talks about how the federal government is taking states to task on voter ID laws and immigration. He then says that Obama is at war with organized religion. Damn, Perry likes throwing the word “war” around. I’m starting to think he either doesn’t know what it means or it is just the answer to everything. “Obama is at war with peanuts! Send troops to the peanut farm! Obama is at war with puppies! Secure the entrance to PetLand!” Perry finishes by saying that Obama is out of control yet he fails to realize that he is foaming at the mouth and tweaking like an infant after two double espressos.

Santorum is asked if he would extend benefits for unemployment. Ricky Boy says that we need a reasonable time table for people to find a job but points out that 99 weeks is just too much. He goes on to say that this should be handled by the states and not the federal government. He calls for a job training program to be a part of unemployment benefits. Okay broski, how much will that shit cost? I’d imagine such a program would be expensive and even if we shortened the time one could collect benefits, the cost of this program could make all that moot. Truthfully, with the government being as wasteful as it is, this may cost us a shitload more than our current dilemma of 99 weeks. Also, when the hell has government done anything well? They certainly can’t offer a jobs program that will benefit anyone.

Gingrich jumps in the mix and agrees with Santorum that there should be a job training program. Okay idiots, what jobs are they training for and what happens when someone is six weeks into a program and decides that whatever they are training for is stupid and they want to get training in something else? Are people allowed to drop out and start over elsewhere and if so, how many times could they do this? Maybe once they start in something they are forced to finish it in order to get their benefits. Realistically, all this will do is waste more money as they will obviously stay in the program, collect the benefits and rack up more debt due to the cost of training them. What happens when they get out of the program? Well, I doubt they’d look for a job in the field they trained in if they grew to dislike it. Essentially this is a lose-lose for everyone but these statist shitcocks are blind to that reality. Newt Gingrich closes his statements on job programs by saying, “I’ll help you if you think helping yourself is good.” I shouldn’t even have to spell out what is wrong with that statement and I’m not going to.

Mitt Romney gives us another soulless rant. In this one he bitches about Obama’s business practices and use of crony capitalism. Romney says that the system of laws we have now work and that we don’t need government regulation. Is he living under a goddamned rock? The system of laws we have now IS government regulation. He adds that we need to open up markets and stop bailing people out. Right, he really wants to have free trade after all the smack he’s talked about China.

The idiot from Wall Street Journal Mr. Seib asks Ron Paul to explain his stance on cutting defense and more importantly on how his military plans would not cost South Carolinians jobs. Really? Is this a real question? Is this the best guy they could find to sit on the moderators’ panel? Ron Paul says that the moderator is confused about his position. He adds that he wants to cut military spending not defense and once again finds himself having to explain to the establishment conservatives for the umpteenth time over the course of these debates what the difference is between the two. Ron Paul says that cutting back on bases overseas would actually affect other countries not the United States. In fact, the U.S. would benefit greatly by bringing our troops home. Paul adds that the idea that this would make us weaker is “absolutely wrong”. Ron Paul is right on this because our presence is spread too thin throughout the world. He then points out that he raises more than twice as much money from the active duty military than all the other candidates combined! Slam dunk bitch! Watching this exchange is like watching Dr. Paul educate ADD-afflicted kindergartners in a college poli-sci class. Ron Paul finishes by quoting Eisenhower who warned about the “military industrial complex”. Paul slam dunks again when says, “We’re supposed to be conservative and that means spend less money!”

All the candidates are asked what the tax rate would be under them. Rick Perry says he will shoot for a 20 percent flat tax rate. Rick Santorum gives a weird answer because he’s probably never thought about this. Romney says that he would get us down to 25 percent but that is still too much. Newt calls for a 15 percent flat tax. Ron Paul then says that he would try to get us down to zero percent! He points to the fact that we didn’t have income tax before 1913 (well, excluding the Civil War era). His proposal is a reflection of how much he wishes to cut spending but the morons in the room can’t put two and two together and probably just think that Ron Paul’s still that crazy kook at the end of the bar. Paul also says that inflation is a tax and if he stopped inflation, we would be freed up from its hidden taxation.

Mitt Romney is asked if he will release his tax records soon. He gargles something about McCain and Bush and says that he hasn’t planned on releasing them. He says that he isn’t opposed to doing it however. He is then asked about his ties to Mexico and the crowd boos at the question. He is asked that if he has close ties to Mexico, why doesn’t he work towards helping Latinos and does he feel like his actions are alienating the Latino voters. Mitt says that Latinos, like all people, are interested in America because it is an “opportunity nation”. Mitt adds that he must communicate to all people that America can be better. He says that illegal immigrants shouldn’t be showed favoritism over those who have been waiting in line legally to enter this country. He then throws in that he would veto the DREAM Act.

Santorum starts pushing some mumbo jumbo about how if people get married before having children it’ll keep them out of poverty. He then blames Obama for everything and bitches about how public schools can’t promote marriage anymore. Santorum says that Obama is “..deliberately sabotaging young girls.” And Ron Paul is the crazy kook?

The moderators then ask Dr. Paul about racial disparities in drug related arrests and convictions. Paul says that it is very clear that racial disparity exists in both those convicted of drug charges and those sentenced to the death penalty. Paul points out that murderers often times get out of jail before drug offenders. He says that the drug war is bringing violence to our border and that it is the real border security issue of today.

Newt Gingrich is criticized about recent comments he made about blacks needing to ask for jobs instead of food stamps. He’s asked if he sees this sort of rhetoric as insulting to blacks, if not all people. Of course Gingrich says it isn’t insulting. He tells some weak story about how his daughter was a janitor at thirteen and how she loved making money and therefore black people should like it too. Juan Williams presses Newt further but gets booed by the South Carolinians in the crowd. What the fuck? Between this and the Romney-Mexico issue, these people are coming off as backwoods bigoted rednecks and people wonder why Republicans have that sort of stereotype! Newt adds that Obama has put more people on food stamps than any other president. While this may be true, it was the Bush administration that really got that ball rolling for Obama. In the end, Newt Gingrich doesn’t explain how his ideas help blacks, he just brushes it off and doesn’t bother dispelling the concerns brought up by the only minority on the stage or on the panel as a chorus of boos continue to be directed at that minority.

Ron Paul is then asked about comments he never made that he supposedly didn’t want to track down Osama bin Laden. Dr. Paul informs the moderators that he never said such a thing and that he voted for the military to apprehend the Al-Qaeda leader. Paul says his frustration was in how the situation was handled as we had the guy cornered before and didn’t go after him, instead we fucked around for a decade and then finally nabbed him almost ten years after 9/11. Paul adds that he wanted a properly executed mission but the whole situation was handled awfully. He then says that we need to respect other nations’ sovereignty and we need to follow proper procedures and not dig bigger holes for ourselves. Bret Baier takes a jab at Ron Paul and says that his stance on taking down terrorists is “to the left of Obama”. Ron Paul points out that we went in and got Saddam Hussein quickly. He then questions why acting quickly, capturing the enemy and detaining them to ask them questions is a bad thing yet waiting a decade and then flat out killing them is perceived as great.

Gingrich is asked if he would go into Pakistan to kill terrorists without getting permission from Pakistan first, even if doing so would end our relationship with Pakistan. Newt doesn’t answer the question, he just immediately attacks Ron Paul and says that Dr. Paul’s stance on foreign policy is “irrational”. Gingrich continues to ignore the question and goes on to just talk shit about Pakistan for continually reaping the benefits of foreign aid but not helping us militarily. Yep, because giving foreign aid apparently isn’t an act of kindness it is a transaction where we buy the countries we “aid”. Gingrich then channels Andrew Jackson and says, “Andrew Jackson had a clear cut idea about Americas enemies…KILL THEM!” This soundbite was met with thunderous applause because just like the establishment dickheads on stage, the majority of the South Carolinians in that building would rather murder someone who doesn’t like us than attempt to work towards a peaceful resolution.

Ron Paul then responds to Newt by saying that if other countries did to us what we do to them, we wouldn’t be cool with it. He then goes on to use the “golden rule” example and the rude crowd starts booing Ron Paul loudly! These people are sick! They are very vocally supporting murder and want to hear nothing of peace. This is the Republican stereotype that will continue to keep sane people away from their party. Paul doesn’t falter like other candidates however. He powers through his points, despite the evil jeers of the scumbags booing. Those of us that don’t condone unjustified cold-blooded murder and imperialism cheer from our living rooms because the oldest man in the room stood strong against the vehement hatred and hunger of hundreds of establishment zombies who only call a man crazy because they don’t have the brain power to understand him. I think it was Dave Chappelle who once said that people use the word “crazy” to describe things that they don’t understand. At this point, it doesn’t matter how many times Dr. Paul tries to educate the idiots, eventually you’ve got to just accept the fact that some people are ignorant and move on. Hopefully Dr. Paul learned this lesson but kudos to him for not faltering before these assholes. Another lesson learned, South Carolinians are rude as fuck.

So immediately after the sane man made his statements, Mitt Romney essentially went on a rant that we’ve got to “Kill! Kill! Kill!” and he actually said, “A bullet in the head is the right course of action.” Yep, this also got thunderous applause from the pro-murder sect of the Republican Party. Romney then went on to say that he would build a military so strong that no one would test the United States and thus, it would keep us out of war. He does realize that we go to war with everyone else first, not the other way around, right? I know.. I know, I’m giving this haircut too much credit.

Rick Santorum gets in ”Kill! Kill! Kill!” mode as well and starts bashing Obama for being what he deems as pro-Assad because we put an embassy in Syria. Yeah dude, why reach out and try to build a relationship when you can just shove bombs down their throats?! Santorum spins it into Obama being anti-Israel as Syria is in bed with Iran. Of course the racist “bomb the world” crowd cheers and cheers.

Perry has to get some ”Kill! Kill! Kill!” action too! He says that he wants to send a powerful message to Iran, Syria and Turkey. He takes a little bitch shot at Ron Paul because he’s a pandering redneck dickweed. He then goes on to defend the Marines that pissed on the dead Taliban soldiers which gets the asshole crowd on their feet. I get this feeling in my gut that the Sith have finally come out of hiding. Perry rambles on and on about decapitated soldiers in an attempt to excuse the heinous acts of our Marines. He then tries to explain that Obama is to blame as his bad policies affected the military. Huh? What? Is this dude drinking all the left over vaccinations he couldn’t force into young girls’ arms?

Here’s the kicker of the night however. Mitt Romney was asked about NDAA and he actually says that he would have signed it into law as Obama has! Romney gets a chorus of boos from the asshole crowd but this time I agree with them. Mitt demands more time so he can explain himself; time is granted and then he just rambles incoherently about it and about expanding military power. Okay, so unless you have been in the dark for months, Mitt Romney is for a Nazi-like law that allows the military to arrest and detain American citizens without due process! This guy is leading in the polls people!

Oh wait! Rick Santorum is also on board and he even tries to dispel concerns about the law proving that he is completely ignorant on the subject and incompetent as a decision maker. What does that tell you when a guy who has been a Washington insider, as long as Rick Santorum has, can’t understand a law that he is reading. Then again, the prick never even probably thumbed through the evil bill.

They quickly move over to Ron Paul and change the subject. Paul, who has been a big critic of the NDAA bill, requests time to talk about the issue. Paul is given the opportunity by the moderators. He talks about how the bill is tyrannical and how it destroys the 4th Amendment and our constitutional rights. He says that Americans being held indefinitely without habeas corpus is a horrible thing.

On sacred cow entitlements, Romney says that he would adopt the Paul Ryan Plan in regards to dealing with the Medicare problem. He goes on to say that he would provide “..higher benefits for lower income people and lower benefits for higher income people.” Yep, he’s not a progressive shitbag. Newt calls for the Chilean model on Social Security and adds that Social Security under his plan would be voluntary.

Rick Santorum is asked if his jobs plan is crony capitalism as it seems to pick winners and losers. Ricky Boy says that he would cut corporate taxes for everybody, so it’s fair. He then rants and raves about foreign competition. When the hell did our leaders turn into such pussies, so afraid of foreign competition? Man the fuck up and compete bitch! He then goes on to whine about regulations. Wait, isn’t he responsible for a lot of those? Baier signals that his time is up and Santorum snaps at Baier like the little Yorkshire lapdog bitch that he is. No one wants to hear your boring rant dipshit! Not even Fox News who has been the only force pimping you out! Santorum’s tantrum then turns over to Newt and they bicker back and forth and I zone out and go to the kitchen for a granola bar.

Juan Williams questions Mitt Romney’s consistency and asks him how he is pro-gun rights when he was the first governor to ever sign an assault weapons ban. Mitt tells Juan that he worked with both pro-gun and anti-gun groups on the legislation and they all agreed on it. He even mentions that he took a picture with the leaders of both groups when the bill was signed. He then talks about hunting elk and pheasants. Wow, you’re a tough cookie Mittens!

Santorum is asked about his anti-gun history and he goes on to say that all his votes were supported by the NRA. He said that they supported him signing certain laws because if they didn’t something worse might come down the pipeline. Oh c’mon! What a crock of shit! So you eat a small piece of poop today because you fear that if you don’t there might be a big piece of poop tomorrow?! No dude, you stand by your convictions and you kick both piles of poop and call it a day. Santorum is such a weak pushover hoe. He lets fear dictate his life, whether that’s fear of hypothetical future legislation or fear of a God he doesn’t even understand. Rick Santorum is of the old establishment mentality that you have to take away some rights in order to protect other rights. This guy is beyond stupid.

This discussion about guns carries over to Ron Paul who says that gun laws should be left to the state. Santorum then has to make it known that Ron Paul tried to do away with the 2nd Amendment! Really? God, doesn’t the Bible talk ill of liars? There goes Ricky Boy disappointing Jesus again! Ron Paul says that he would repeal anything that would ban guns. He then points out that Rick Santorum is just nibbling away at the Constitution for his own means.

Newt Gingrich goes on to defend himself from being accused of supporting China’s “one child policy”. He says that he never, in any way, supported that policy. He and Mitt then get into a pointless quarrel over Super PACs. Mitt days that he would get rid of Super PACs as they are corrupt and wrong. Rick Perry then closes out the debate talking about troops on the border and “aviation assets”. In his funny Texan accent he promises to “..lock the border down within a year after taking my hand off of that Bible.”

This debate was hard to watch. The audience was absolutely awful and even though I talked some shit about South Carolina, I hope that their attitudes and behavior doesn’t reflect that of the rest of the state. I guess we’ll find out as the next debate is also in South Carolina. If the crowd at that one is just as ridiculous, it’ll deter me from ever wanting to set foot in that state again!

In the end, Ron Paul did well, even with the whole world seemingly against him. It wasn’t his best performance but it was solid enough. I believe that Romney walked away weak, especially after his NDAA comments. Plus he just pandered and filibustered most of the debate. Newt did really well despite the Fox News and Wall Street Journal moderators trying to “gotcha” him to death and hang him out to dry. Rick Santorum is going to end up sucking gay dicks in Hell so I don’t care about him. Perry is probably going to drop the fuck out because again, he’s deader than shit in this race.

I tried to keep this one short and sweet but these idiots just give you so much material to rip apart and bash.

Grading Scale:
Grade B-: Newt Gingrich
Grade B-: Ron Paul
Grade D: Rick Perry
Grade D-: Mitt Romney
Grade F: Rick Santorum

*Written by Rob Rimes.

There have been way too many debates in the month of November, this one was the fifth and thank Jesus it is the last one. Luckily I get a break from covering all these damn things until the next one on December 10th. This debate brought some extra fire, especially after the very calm church debate we got just three days prior. The subject of this particular debate was national security, which is one of those touchy subjects that really shows a candidate’s true colors. It is easy to tell the true liberty lovers apart from the bastards just with the issue of the PATRIOT Act alone. So with that said, let’s go!

Legend, icon and show stopper Wolf Blitzer graces us with his presence as moderator for this CNN hosted affair and love him or hate him, he is usually always a solid moderator, minus his incessant bullying of last year’s senatorial candidate from Delaware, Christine O’Donnell. Luckily for us, there were no witches in denial on the stage and Wolf didn’t have to resort to picking on a defenseless joke of a candidate. Not that some of these people aren’t jokes but even the battiest has her shit together somewhat. Okay.. maybe not.

The only thing worth mentioning about the introductions is that Ron Paul got the loudest pop from the crowd, Mitt Romney got the second loudest and Gingrich surprisingly got some boos. Rick Perry pimped out his wife per usual and we all found out that Jon Huntsman is apparently married to Mary Kay. I wonder if he gets a big discount on eyeliner? Anyway, these goddamned introductions go on for so fucking long that we didn’t even get the first question until 13 minutes into the debate! Unlike other channels, CNN apparently doesn’t care about fitting in the most substance in their television time constraints. Fuck Ted Turner.

When a question is finally asked, it is about whether or not the PATRIOT Act should be extended. Really? Apparently there are still a shitload of fear turtle zombies that think that giving up their liberty for safety is a great exchange. Yep, safety from a boogeyman threat that is a lot less likely to kill you than a bolt of lighting. Surely these conservative candidates don’t believe such nonsense?

Well, Newt starts off by saying that there is a distinct difference between criminals and terrorists who we are at war with. Newt has been using this talking point a lot lately. He then says that he would support an extension and expansion of the PATRIOT Act. In fact, Mr. Gingrich says that he would “strengthen” the PATRIOT Act. So far every good thing Newt has said throughout these debates is now overshadowed by this idiocy. When it comes down to police state tyranny, he is just a shitcock bastard trying to shackle the feet of the free people he claims to be fighting for and protecting. For a guy who brings so much fire and always has his nuts on display, he sure is a scared little bitch when it comes to the boogeyman.

Ron Paul immediately comes out in opposition to Newt when he says that the PATRIOT Act is “unpatriotic”. Ron Paul points out that it undermines liberty and it does incredibly more harm than good. Paul says that you can’t have safety and security without having to suspend the rights of Americans. Newt responds by saying that Timothy McVeigh succeeded without a PATRIOT Act in place. Ron Paul tells Newt that his example is like saying that we need a cop in every house to prevent child abuse. Ron Paul points out that Newt’s viewpoint is pro-police state and anti-liberty, he’s right.

In regards to the PATRIOT Act issue, Michele Bachmann says that she takes the side of the Constitution. M’kay, does this dingbat even know what that means because the Constitution says nothing about a PATRIOT Act and at its core, would be vehemently against such tyrannical legislation. Nope, she’s a dumb ass and is an example of a so-called constitutional conservative Tea Party hypocrite as her stance is seemingly pro-PATRIOT Act. Bachmann, in typical fear-monger fashion, builds up our fear by telling us that phones are smartphones now and that they aren’t wired into walls anymore. Really shithead? Thanks for pointing that out while trying to get grandma to think that her cellular device is a goddamned Decepticon waiting to bite her ear off. Bachmann then complains that the CIA doesn’t have enough power to properly interrogate terrorists. Aah, so waterboarding torture isn’t tortuous enough for this Constitution thumper. Bachmann citing the Constitution is just like that old adage warning about the Devil citing the Bible.

Jon Huntsman, one of two sane people in the room in the matters of national security and foreign policy says that we need to find the proper balance between security and liberty. I see his point and it is a lot more admirable than mostly everyone else’s proposed policies but I’d prefer to privatize everything, without the government still defining what the protocol for security is. You see, even if we do privatize the TSA, the replacement firm would still have to practice the Department of Homeland Security’s guidelines. He can’t simply privatize it and we can’t simply find a balance, we have to go beyond that.

The next big question asks if the TSA is necessary and if their pat down policy is a violation of liberty. Mitt Romney says that we can do better than TSA policy. He also says that he agrees with Newt’s side of the PATRIOT Act argument and not Ron Paul’s. Mitt reminds us that we are at “war!” Yep, here we go. Mitt says that we have to defend life, liberty and property. Uh huh homeboy, because that’s exactly what the PATRIOT Act doesn’t do.

Rick Perry is up next and he talks about how he wants to privatize the TSA and in turn, eliminate their unions, which he perceives to be a big part of the problem. Perry points to Denver who he says has successfully privatized their airport security. Funny, considering that the Denver airport is considered to be somewhat of a headquarters to the New World Order according to conspiracy buffs. Rick Perry, like most of his counterparts on the stage, says that he would also try and strengthen the PATRIOT Act.

Rick Santorum, who is STILL in this race, says that he would like to see airport security use profiling methods. Israel has been using this technique for years and it has worked with success. Unfortunately, people would rather be politically correct than be safe. Then again they would rather be safe than be free. So essentially people rank political correctness over safety over liberty. Wow, we’re really fucking doomed!

This fucking idiot Santorum actually cites Abraham Lincoln’s abuse of power as a good example of when one should abuse the power entrusted to them by the American people. Santorum says that Abe showed us that at times, you have to sacrifice liberty for a little security. Where’s Ben Franklin to kick this shitworm in the testicles? Santorum also says that he wants a stronger PATRIOT Act. Yep, all these fuckers really love that small government they pimp out so much.

Ron Paul says that people us the slogan “We are at war!” too damn often and too carelessly: a-fucking-men! Ron Paul tries to explain to the clueless idiots that the PATRIOT Act and other similar legislation mixed with executive powers has made every American vulnerable to be labeled a terrorist and/or assassinated. Nope, they are all unaffected by reason and logic, go figure. Scare tactics only work when it’s bullshit, especially their bullshit.

Herman Cain jumps in and refers to Wolf Blitzer as “Blitz” thus fucking up the name of one of the biggest legends in the media game. Cain goes on to say that he wants to implement “targeted identification” in airports which is his stupid way of calling for racial profiling in a way to not look like he is a racist. He doesn’t need to worry about that though, he already looks like a bigot after recently telling his story about how he was relieved to find out his surgeon wasn’t a Muslim. Cain then tries to scare grandma harder than Bachmann when he tells us that terrorists (the Muslim ones) want to kill all of us, so we have to hurry up and kill all of them. During this tirade, Bachmann can be heard through her mic laughing like a rabid dickbag choking on shit.

Jon Huntsman says that we don’t need to nation build in Afghanistan, we need to nation build in America. He is for expanding the drone program in exchange for bringing troops home.

Bachmann feels that Pakistan is the “..epicenter for dealing with terrorism.” She calls Pakistan violent and unstable and drums up the fear again when she warns that their nuclear facilities can be overtaken by jihadists. She also points out that that big evil bastard Red China is trying to influence Pakistan against the United States. However, she wants to keep sending foreign aid to these people because we need to keep them happy and friendly with us. This woman’s intelligence is fucking non-existent. She closes her rant by calling Pakistan “Too Nuclear to Fail!” Derp! This chick is just a series of shitty unfunny slogans pinned to a pair of crazy eyes.

Idiot Perry then jumps on idiot Bachmann and smugly states that “If you aren’t an ally, you ain’t getting a dime!” Bachmann replies by calling Rick Perry naive. Then to hit her point home she resorts to more fear-mongering per usual and warns that Al-Qaeda, who are essentially dead at this point, could steal nukes from Pakistan and blow up New York City. Jesus fucking Christ lady, just stop it! Besides, how is showering Pakistan with free money going to stop Al-Qaeda from robbing their nukes? You’re own example, that won’t happen, contradicts your whole argument about sending money to a growing enemy. Lady you’re an idiot that needs to enroll in some classes at STFU.

Mitt Romney is asked that if the massive amount of money being poured into Afghanistan is worth it. Without actually committing to an answer and providing a sound bite, which is his modus operandi, Mitt basically agrees with the Afghan War and thinks it is money well spent. Mitt feels that Afghanistan is a breeding ground for terror, yet he doesn’t see that the vast majority of Afghanis want us to GTFO and are getting angrier and angrier by the day over our occupation of their country. Yep, America is turning up the heat on this pot about to boil over. You see, Mitt Romney, like most of the GOP candidates, is of the belief that somehow we can get this country full of warring tribes to become a democratic nation that will be able to stand on its own two feet in an effort to push back all the bullshit in the region. God, Romney and anyone else who thinks this is either blind or has never read any history on the people of that area. You can’t force democracy on those who don’t want it and you certainly shouldn’t sit in their backyard with an entire army waiting for them to finally give it a try.

Huntsman tells Romney that we’ve already accomplished the vast majority of our goals in Afghanistan and that we need to get out. Huntsman once again says we need to nation build at home, not abroad. This gets Huntsman a loud round of applause from the crowd. Mitt disses Huntsman and tries to combat him by repeating his stupid points again and Huntsman slaps him like a hoe and re-solidifies his points to further applause. Mitt Romney responds by saying that Afghanistan has to become a soverign nation and that we can’t stop until they are free of the Taliban and champions of democracy. He says he stands with the commanders on the issue. Huntsman replies by saying that the president stood with the commanders in 1967 and that turned out to be the biggest military disaster in U.S. history.

Newt is asked to chime in but is quickly cut off by Mitt who feels the need to not let Huntsman’s burn stand. Newt says that he should let other people talk but Romney ignores him and tries to throw down more on Huntsman. Mitt just pukes up the same points over and over. We get it dude, it’s the message we don’t like, not how you are interpreting it. Your argument sucks bro.

Newt Gingrich finally chimes in and tells us that we should be furious at Pakistan, as Osama bin Laden was there under their noses this whole time. Imperial Newt is prepared to tell Pakistan to either help us or to get out of our way. Yep, that’d be an act of war if anyone came at us like that. Gingrich believes that Pakistan was protecting Osama bin Laden the whole time.

Rick Santorum gets some more time and says that he agrees with Ron Paul. He then spins his statement stupidly and says that he agrees that we aren’t in a “war on terror”. Oh no, Santorum tells us that we are in a “war on radical Islam”. Jesus dude, stop talking.

The next major question asked of the candidates is would they help Israel if they decided to attack Iran. Herman Cain is the first up to answer and he says that he would make sure Israel had a clear plan on attacking Iran before deciding if he would help them or not. C’mon man, that’s weak. Cain also admits that he would only help them if they had a real chance at succeeding. Okay, so Cain doesn’t like a challenge, he is only down to join up and fight if the odds are stacked in his favor. What a puss. Makes me wonder why Cain is still in the presidential race, considering he is plummeting faster than Lindsey Lohan stock in Hollywood.

Ron Paul says he would not help Israel attack Iran, as Israel is their own nation and can deal with their own problems. Paul points out that the whole scenario of Israel attacking Iran and vice versa is basically ridiculous, as neither country wants to risk killing itself in a nuclear exchange. Ron Paul also points out that Syria’s president Assad called this talk of war between the two nations stupid. Ron Paul then asks “Why does Israel need our help?” He informs us all that we already stand in their way enough and that it is time to allow them to take care of themselves. Ron Paul also points out that we don’t even have a treaty with Israel. He warns us that whenever we try to buy friendship it bites us in the ass, just like what happened in Egypt during the Arab Spring. Paul ends his talking points by proclaiming that we need to stop having such a willingness to go to war.

Thin skin Herman Cain, who is obviously offended by Ron Paul’s statements on behalf of all the people who supposedly need our help in Israel, tries to argue against Paul’s points but says absolutely nothing worthwhile, thus proving he is still an idiot on foreign policy. I guess he didn’t have any advisors telling him what to do or say before he opened his mouth.

The candidates are then asked if there are any sanctions that could prevent Iran from making a weapon of mass destruction. Rick Perry calls for us to shut down Iranian banks before even considering a military strike. Perry basically says that we need to go ape shit with sanctions. Perry also calls for sanctions against Syria and pretty much wants to make the entire Middle East a no fly zone.

Newt is asked if killing Iranian banks would stop Europe from getting Iranian oil. Newt responds by saying that we need a massive “all sources energy plan” in the United States, so we can become the world’s supplier of energy and thus, strip the Middle East of power. He wants us to develop a good strategy to combat radical Islam and says that if need be, we could break Iran in a year. Uh huh, yet we are still dancing around in Afghanistan over a decade later and are close to approaching a decade in Iraq. Yep, one thing our military management is, is quick and exacting. Newt also says that sanctions to hurt Iranian banks are a good idea.

Michele Bachmann agrees with Newt because her brain is just a pile of forgotten Jello shots left in the dirt at a derelict campsite. Bachmann immediately starts Obama bashing, as that is the only way she can get the drones in the crowd to cheer. She mentions that Obama’s mishandling of the pipeline issue is what has fucked up our quest for energy independence. Nope lady, it’s been a fucked issue before Obama even came to power. Bachmann then tries to scare grandma again by saying that Ahmadinejad is going to eat our children and pick his teeth with the bones of our goldfish or something. Whatever, this chick takes the silly threats of a silly dictator way too seriously but I guess one would have to when their entire campaign is about scaring the shit out of everyone whether the boogeyman is Barack Obama or some Moooslim that wants to murder every single one of us while sitting in a cave eating goat ribs 7,000 miles away.

Santorum is asked if we can afford to continue giving foreign aid to Africa to help combat AIDS and malaria. Santorum says that we have to maintain humanitarian aid all over the world. Santorum lets his true colors fly when he says that we have to use ALL of our resources to promote our values through out the world. By “our values” Santorum means his particular brand of Jesus snack cakes.

On the aid to Africa issue, Herman Cain gives an answer that once again shows his lack of knowledge on everything outside of developing pizza deals. Cain says that we have to sit down and figure out if all this aid is working and then make a decision. What a bunch of pandering jackassery that just illustrates how hard this guy is struggling and trying not to dig himself anymore holes.

Ron Paul reminds us once again, that this sort of aid simply takes from the poor in a rich country, the United States, and gives to the rich in a poor country. Paul calls this sort of aid worthless and says that if we are going to aid or teach these other countries anything, we need to teach them about free market principles and economics. Dr. Paul lets it be known that none of the other candidates up there are conscious of the budget. He also says that the most important national security issue is our financial state. Tou-fucking-ché!

Mitt the bitch gets all upset with Ron Paul and tries to argue a bunch of neocon nonsense to which Ron Paul responds by telling him that “All this talk is just talk.” Paul says they are nibbling away at baseline budgeting and nothing is being cut from the military. He calls Mitt’s stance, and frankly the stance of 6 out of 8 of these people on stage, “..a road to disaster”. Mitt says that the cuts are real and he starts listing examples. He then says that military cuts will prevent us from being able to properly defend ourselves. Occupying a country against their wishes is only called defense if you dine on the same bowl of RINO turds that Mitt eats three times daily.

On the subject of defense cuts, Newt talks about how something is very wrong with the system when it takes the military 9 years to develop something new but Apple can change the world every 9 months. Now, I’m sure those aren’t exact figures but he does make a very good point. Shifting to energy, Newt says that we need to open up oil fields everywhere we can but that we won’t because this country isn’t serious about energy. He says that we need to get away from all this mindlessness and get shit rollin’ again! Then after making the statement about “mindlessness” Newt says he would bomb Iran for regime replacement. C’mon Newt, you were doing alright this round.

Jon Huntsman drops some knowledge on the nimrods when he borrows a page from the Ron Paul manual and also states that we need to face economic reality and understand that our national debt is our biggest national security issue. Huntsman says that Washington D.C. has a trust deficit with the American people because they can’t brush the bullshit aside and start working towards fixing the problems. Huntsman adds that we cant have an honest conversation about cutting some of the sacred cows and that we need to put everything on the table when it comes to fiscal responsibility. He finishes his points by saying, “Our foreign policy needs to reflect our economic policy.”

Rick Perry is asked if he would compromise the Democrats in Congress to avoid gridlock. Perry starts his answer by calling the Super Committee a “super failure”. Perry points out that Obama is not a leader and he passed the buck to Congress instead of doing the right thing. Rick Perry feels that the idea that you can’t work with the other side is dumb. He promises to do whatever is needed to get things done. He also, once again, calls for a part-time Congress. He thinks that Congress should work half the time and get half the pay. It would definitely make the career politicians rethink their path in life.

Rick Santorum is posed with the same issue and he claims that he would not “work against himself” if it came down to having to compromise with the other side. Newt says that we need a series of reforms done to entitlements. Bachmann promises to draw a line in the sand in regards to the deficit issue. She also says that when we pay back interest money to China we are transferring our military might because our military will decrease and China’s will increase.

On border security, Rick Perry calls for a “21st century Monroe Doctrine”. He mentions that Hamas and Hezbollah are working in Mexico and need to be stopped from crossing over. He also says that Iran and Venezuela are working together and pose a real threat to border security, which just compounds the issue with Hamas and Hezbollah working in the same region, so close to us. Perry wants more boots on the ground and “aviation assets”, which is just Texan for “drones”.

Ron Paul speaks out against the War on Drugs and says that it needs to end. He says that we need to stop worrying about the Afghanistan-Pakistan border and to give more attention to our own borders. He calls for better immigration services and adds that free medical care and education benefits, as well as welfare for illegal immigrants, is a burden to us all. Ron Paul calls the Drug War “a total failure.” He points out how the federal government has increased their power, as they continually undermine the states when it comes to drug laws. Paul also points out that more people die from prescription drugs than illegal drugs. These are all very valid points and issues that nearly all of the other candidates skirt around or ignore when trying to scare the shit out of us on the drug issue.

Herman Cain says that an insecure border is a threat. What about an insecure candidate, Mr. Cain? He also says that terrorists are coming in from Mexico. Cain  adds that Mexicans feel Mexico has failed, so that is why they come here. I think Cain’s talking points came off of the last piece of toilet paper he used because he’s just talking out of his ass and contributing nothing to the debate on this subject.

Rick Santorum is asked about how we should welcome immigrants. He goes on some wannabe-Reagan rant about shining cities and hills and luck dragons that shit marshmallows. He says something about the economic benefits of legal immigration but he has a hard time commanding my attention.

On the subject, Newt says that we need to attach visas to college degrees in order to keep the good students in America, which will benefit our country. Bachmann states that she is against amnesty and the DREAM Act. Newt responds by saying that we should not punish someone who came to America at 3 years of age that just wants to work to better this country and their own life. Uh oh, the GOPers are getting uneasy, as Newt’s stance does not sit well with the majority of the right-wing crowd. Bachmann tries to battle back at Newt but offers nothing. She tries to do some math but her made-up examples and figures don’t even add up.

Mitt Romney says that amnesty is a magnet. He does say however that he would staple a green card to the diploma of those with great brains. He then goes on to talk about his love of legal immigration and how we should promote the path to citizenship better.

Gingrich says that we cant punish people who have been living here for a quarter of a century, as they have ties to our country, expanded families, etc. Newt makes it clear that we must be humane in enforcing the immigration laws. I fully agree with this point. Sorry conservatives but Newt is right on this one and I know it eats away at many of you. How can you expect to rip someone away from their life and ship them back to a land that they haven’t been a part of for over a quarter of a century?

Herman Cain is asked if he would implement a no fly zone over Syria, he says no. He adds that we have to find a way to get our allies to stop buying Syrian oil. Cain states, “We must have a strong military.” He also says that we must grow the economy. He’s all over the place and he’s boring me at this point. Thank fuck we didn’t get “NINE! NINE! NINE!”every 12.3 seconds this debate.

Rick Perry says that we must make Syria a no fly zone because it would be a huge sanction against them and would keep them in line. Yep, and just like with other examples given, if someone were to do to the U.S. what the U.S. is proposing to do to others, we would view it as an act of war. Rick Perry claims that Syria is in a partnership with Iran in exporting terrorism.

In regards to recent relations with the Middle East, Jon Huntsman says the president has failed with the Arab Spring. He proclaims that we have to remind the rest of the world what it means to be an ally of the United States. Huntsman says that sanctions are not going to work because China and Russia wont play ball that way. He warns that we need to let history be our guide because too often we jump on the side with people we havent had enough time to understand and each time it has ultimately backfired on us.

On terrorism, Dr. Paul says that Al-Qaeda was inspired by the fact that we had bases in Saudi Arabia. He said that all we need to do to inspire them is to just meddle in their area. Paul calls a no fly zone an act of war, he asks what would happen if China forced a no fly zone on us, that is exactly what I’ve been saying! Paul says that we can’t do anything to a country that we wouldn’t want them to do to us. Paul asks, “Why don’t we mind our own business?” Yeah, why the fuck don’t we?

Mitt Romney says that America isn’t just another nation with a flag, it’s something more exceptional than that. He says that a strong military and economy will make sure that no one fucks with us. Romney states that he is not for imposing a no fly zone on Syria.

Rick Perry follows up Mitt by saying that we’ve got to get serious about helping Israel. Ok buddy, we’ve helped them way more than we’ve ever needed to. In fact, we are part of their problem. Lets just let them do their thing. Perry also says that we have to get real serious about Iran and Syria. I thought Texas didn’t scare easily?

In the closing statements, the candidates are asked if they have any national security worries that weren’t addressed in the debate. Santorum says that we need to worry about Central and South America as they are made up of militant socialist regimes with ties to radical Islam. Ron Paul worries about overreaction on our part and people not understanding who the Taliban is and their true motivation. Rick Perry worries about communist Red China and their forced abortions and cyber attacks. Romney worries about China too as well as Iran being a nuclear power. Mitt is also worried a little bit about Latin America. Cain worries about cyberattacks and bad pizza. Gingrich is worried about WMDs, as well as electromagnetic pulse attacks and cyberattacks. Bachmann is worried about constipation, Al-Shabaab and intelligent debate. Jon Huntsman is worried about China but says they are in for real trouble in the future. Huntsman says that our real threat is our problems at home.

In the end, this debate was good for the fact that it showed were a lot of these people stand on these issues. Where many of these candidates agree on most of the fiscal issues, the subject of national security shows that many of them are still just chips off of the old establishment block.

Grading Scale:
Grade A: Ron Paul
Grade B+: Jon Huntsman
Grade C-: Newt Gingrich
Grade D+: Mitt Romney
Grade D: Rick Perry
Grade D: Herman Cain
Grade F: Rick Santorum
Grade F: Michele Bachmann
Grade I: Gary Johnson

*Written by Rob Rimes.

1. Introduction:

Not too long ago, I had no idea who the hell Governor Jerry Brown was, other than being a lyrical flourish in the Dead Kennedys’ epic song “California Über Alles”. And shit, that song was released in 1979 which just goes to show just how long this tyrannical cockpuppet has been on the political scene. The song claimed back then that he was going to be president, well that hasn’t happened yet. Truth is, he is a career politician for sure and he even had presidential runs in ’76, ’80 and ’92. He is more than just the current Governor of Cali, in fact, he was their governor once before for two terms that stretched from 1975-1983. I guess the Golden Staters love this shitpickle maroonish tyrant because they elected him as governor once again, 27 years after he left that position. Well, there is that old adage that states, “You’ve made your bed, now lie in it.”

Governor Jerry Brown is a tyrant, plain and fucking simple. A part of me fears that this bastard will one day run for president again, maybe in 2016 or 2020. God I fucking hope not because his current tenure as Cali Governor has been full of several attacks on liberty and this fucksack hasn’t even been in office a whole year yet! If anything, this article is being written to lay out the tyrannies he’s committed already, in less than a quarter of a single term. By exposing all this, you will hopefully be deterred from ever giving this guy your vote, whether it is for an unprecedented fourth term as governor or a potential presidential run.

2. Eliminating Parental Rights:

One of the biggest things this tyrant has done, is he has made it so that California preteens can choose whether or not they want the Gardasil vaccine, without their parents’ knowledge. The vaccine supposedly helps prevent certain types of HPV. However, this is the same vaccine that has gotten presidential candidate and Texas Governor Rick Perry into a lot of trouble with a big portion of the voter base. Reason being, the vaccination has received a lot of scrutiny due to the fact that it has been proven to cause harm and in some cases death to individuals who have taken it. Some research even states that the vaccine is ineffective and some studies have concluded that HPV doesn’t cause cancer but Gardasil itself does. You can do your own research on it and decide if the pros outweigh the cons but really, should the decision of partaking in such a controversial medical procedure fall on the shoulders of a 12-year-old child?

The point is, Jerry Brown has eliminated parental rights. I’m sorry but that is just fucking scary. I’m not saying all parents are even good, most parents these days seem pretty shitty. However, an adult is more capable of making these sorts of decisions, especially for their own children. It kind of falls under the same category as abortions in certain states where the child doesn’t have to get parental permission. While I understand that teenagers don’t want their parents knowing that they are sexually active, I still think that until a person is 18-years-old (or emancipated from their parents) that they still have to live under the rule of their parents or legal guardians. That might not seem very libertarian of me but a 12-year-old girl shouldn’t even be in a position to have to make this decision and live with the consequences of her possibly naive choice.

So by giving children the responsibility of adults, is the nanny state now assuming that they can also buy beer, cigarettes and drive cars? Hell, maybe they can work in strip clubs or even prostitute themselves out in areas where hooking is legal. I know these are extreme examples but aren’t the actions of Jerry Brown here extreme? I mean, you basically consider 12-year-old girls to be adults in this case but in other cases they are still children? You can’t have your cake and eat it too. This is just another case of forcing us all to comply with the statist quo.

Fact is, the nanny state has been trying to pry children away from their parents for years. This case is no different. The state is letting you know that they are the parents and that you just have to offer your child, now their child, free room and board until they are old enough to go out and live off of the system, as they are being indoctrinated to do already. Don’t trust mommy and daddy, trust the state kiddos. Oh, and while your at it, be sure to snitch to the state about any suspicious activity your parents may be a part of.

The hypocrisy of this is that the state has laws in place to protect children from sexual predators because the state obviously feels that children can’t make well-informed decisions when it comes to sexual activity due to their undeveloped worldview. Yet they are informed enough to decide on whether or not they can get vaccinated before they commence in sexual activity? It’s fucking horseshit! As real as it can be stated, Jerry Brown condones the exploitation of the children in his own state, which he is sworn to protect. Is he getting kickbacks from Merck like Rick Perry did?

And while young girls are now able to make this crazy decision, Jerry Brown has banned minors from going to tanning salons. Truth is, there is no logic behind any of this hypocritical behavior unless you understand the real agenda here. That agenda is that the state is grooming these children to be zombies reliant on the state itself. Unfortunately the people of California haven’t woken up enough to lambast this bastard. Chances are, he’ll get voted in for a fourth term.

Ultimately, as with everything, this is a state issue as this country has been founded on states’ rights. However, California is apparently full of subservient dumbasses that are seemingly fine with this. Well, I’m not cool with it and if I ever do have a child, they won’t be raised in Killa Cali.

Before I move on, here is something Jerry Brown said recently after vetoing a bill that would have forced minors to wear ski helmets:

I believe parents have the ability and responsibility to make good choices for their children.

What a dickbag.

3. Warrantless Searches & Seizures:

Governor Jerry Brown is one of the biggest pro-police state politicians I have seen in recent memory. Recently, he used his executive power to veto a bill, which has resulted in allowing law enforcement in California to be able to do warrantless on-the-spot cell phone searches. This is a direct attack to the Constitution, more specifically the 4th Amendment, which states:

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Well, Jerry Brown doesn’t give a fuck about all that noise. You see, now residents of the Golden State who are either suspects to a crime or just simply pulled over on a traffic stop can be forced to hand their mobile device over to the police, who have the power to search it inside and out. In the digital age this means that cops have access to all your private e-mails, pictures, text messages, contacts, call records, cloud-storage services, location-based services, banking activity and everything else you could imagine. I don’t know about you but I have a lot of idiot friends that text me idiot things that could pretty much incriminate me if the cop wanted to be a humorless dick. Many cops are humorless dicks.

This gives police way too much power. Not only that but it strips 37 million people of their constitutional rights. The 4th Amendment exists to stop the abuse of power from the state and to protect the individual and property rights of the American citizen. What Jerry Brown has done here is unacceptable. This isn’t even an issue of states’ rights, it’s an issue of some vile fucksack coming along and taking a huge shit on our nation’s most sacred document. It is a slap in the face of our Founding Fathers and the millions of Golden Staters that are forced to live under this dark cloud of tyranny. Then again, I guess you get what you vote for.

As is always the way with government, what is to stop them from going a mile when you give them an inch? What is going to stop the corruption of crooked cops from finding just enough suspicion to stop you and thumb through your smartphone on a whim? What’s to stop them from finding just enough incriminating evidence to make your life a living hell? You better not back talk them! Hell, you might as well give them the keys to your entire kingdom because they can just peer inside whenever they want anyway.

If Brown is willing to bring forth this sort of tyranny, what is to stop him from eventually expanding this policy to allow for cops to search your home or your car without a warrant? We’re on a slippery slope of statist bullshit and if you can’t see the correlation between warrantless searches and seizures of your phone and warrantless searches and seizures of your other property, then you deserve to live under the iron fist.

4. Illegal Immigration Education:

Governor Jerry Brown made another Rick Perry-esque faux pas, in the eyes of many, when he signed the DREAM Act, thus giving a free college education, paid for by the state a.k.a. your tax dollars, to illegal immigrants in California. Hasn’t this punkass bitch learned from all the heat Rick Perry has caught in the Republican debates as of late? Oh wait, I forgot, Perry is basically a liberal in a conservative suit and Brown is a Democrat, so they are pretty much policy butt buddies and chips off of that old leftist block. I mean, Perry actually was a Democrat once but whatever, this isn’t an article about that jackturd (I already wrote one about him here). Point being, why would Jerry Brown worry about what criticism Rick Perry’s not-so-conservative policies generate in conservatives when his own policies come from a contrasting ideology? Besides, is the DREAM Act as bad as conservatives make it out to be?

Well, the DREAM Act essentially promotes a path to citizenship for illegal immigrants but it does so at the expense of the tax payer, whether they want to contribute to the program or not. That is tyrannical in my eyes but that just brings up the whole debate about taxation being theft and I don’t want to go there in this article.

You see, the DREAM Act gives illegal immigrants financial assistance for college. While the economy in California is an shambles, this program will cost the state $14.5 million. Now I am all for promoting a path to citizenship and so are many conservatives, or so they claim when under fire, but is this a wise way to do it? Considering that the DREAM Act isn’t just freely given away and that students have to show that they’ve got a solid GPA and intend to use this opportunity to enrich themselves and thus make our country as a whole more prosperous, I can’t really knock it too hard.

Then again, when really looking at it, why does the government need to dangle this carrot in front of illegal immigrants that actually want to become legal immigrants? Why not just make the path easier, regardless of this bullshit stipulation? Is it because the government perceives a college education as a key element to allowing someone the same rights that those of us born here have? With that logic, should I be stripped of my citizenship because I quit college? It doesn’t really make a lot of sense and it just seems like a type of social engineering.

If someone wants to take the path to citizenship on their own and they make a conscious effort, why do we want to deny them that? Why make it hard on the person that wants to earn a buck and live legally within the system? Sure, we don’t want to have a bunch of new citizens milking the welfare system and getting caught in that web of bullshit but truth is, illegal immigrants already receive several forms of welfare in this country and since they aren’t documented, the chances of them taking advantage of the system is even greater.

Now this sort of contradicts what I wrote about in “Conservatives & Aliens” but since writing that, I’ve read a lot more on the subject and have come to understand how the illegal immigrant can milk the system more than the legal one. The real problem is the welfare state. Abolish it, make the path to citizenship easier and let the chips fall where they may. By giving immigrants these freebies, we are keeping them weak and dependent. Then again, that’s probably just part of a bigger agenda.

5. Open Carry Gun Rights:

Recently, Governor Jerry Brown took a shit on the 2nd Amendment when he banned open carry of guns in the state of California. To many gun hating lefties, this is a pretty solid victory for their ilk but to the rest of us, it is just another display of utter tyranny and an attack against the Constitution.

The problem with banning open carry in California is quite unique, as its strange gun laws make it so that getting even a concealed-carry weapons permit is much more difficult. You see, in Cali, unlike other states, a CCW must be approved or denied by the sole discretion of that county’s sheriff. So if the sheriff doesn’t like you, guess what? No CCW. In other states, anyone can get a CCW as long as they pass a background check and a skills test. It is a pretty simple process and helps prevent any police state or nanny state shenanigans. California is just a fucked up ass backwards place however and many of their laws are just borderline silly, especially this one.

This is a classic example of government control by overreaching their authority and thus taking it to the people. It is the 2nd Amendment that gives people the power to defend all their other constitutional rights. This is probably one of the reasons why progressive liberals are always trying to ban guns. Then again, they also just prescribe to the media-hyped fear about gun violence without looking at the real facts. The fact is, to steal an old adage, an armed society is a polite society. You never hear about gun violence at a gun show, do you? With their logic, a gun show should be a fucking war zone. I’ve covered all this in “Gun Control (is) for Dummies“.

6. The Amazon Tax:

Business is good! Well, not in California for Amazon. You see, they had their business stifled by Jerry Brown’s special Internet sales tax law. The shitty law caused Amazon to basically say “fuck it” and leave the Golden State. In another case of the know-it-all statists trying to milk every penny from every source possible, the unintended consequences of these good intention became very apparent, very quickly when Amazon refused to play the bullshit game.

This law didn’t just attack Amazon, it made it so that all out-of-state online retailers that did business in California had to collect sales tax from Cali customers. This was done to “create jobs” and help “mom & pop” compete with the Internet retail monsters. Yep, government intervention always works. Nope, nothing’s going to go south here!

Did Governor Jerry Brown think about the jobs he would effect by pushing these giant companies away? When I buy used books, DVDs, video games or CDs from Amazon, about half of the items come from “mom & pop” stores in California. Cali has a lot of small stores that benefit from the opportunity Amazon gives them to have storefronts on their supersite. Jerry must have a very small worldview and is unable to see how the last true frontier, the Internet, hugely benefits all of us. Damn you prosperity!

The San Francisco Times, which supports this stupid tax, actually printed this laughable sentence:

Finally, because it will be collecting California sales tax one year from now, the door is now open for Amazon to open a distribution center or warehouse in the country’s most populous state.

Do these fucking idiots really believe that? Funny, because Amazon quit doing business with Cali completely! Did Gov. Brown think this would incentivize Amazon and other large megacompanies to move to his state? Dude must have a fat sack of some O.G. kush cause he’s high as fuck!

So is Amazon still on the outs with Killa Cali? Nope, a deal was made. Well, at least for now.

After Amazon announced that they were leaving Cali, the state panicked like little bitches. California gave Amazon a one-year reprieve from having to comply with this stupid sales tax collection law. Amazon, in return, cannot seek a ballot measure campaign to undo the tax during this reprieve. This pissed off the Democrats of the state who were desperate to raise revenue by any means necessary; their feeble minds always turn to this sort of policy which fails time and time again. Either way, this situation is still a mess and it is anyone’s guess how it will pan out a year or so from now.

7. Conclusion:

Governor Jerry Brown is a statist shitcock that has no concern about liberty and freedom but after reading this, you should now be well aware of that. The problem is, people really really like this guy. He’s charismatic, he’s been around forever and he just knows how to work those Cali peeps like no one else. After eight years of that Terminator guy, who pretty much ran the state into the ground, Californians probably just wanted to see a friendly face. Frankly, I don’t blame them.

The problem is, Jerry Brown is not the answer that California needs. He is a career politician and an establishment heavyweight that has a statist agenda that is going to dig Cali’s financial pit deeper while pushing his state further and further towards an authoritarian model. The only two political parties in California will be the Police State Party and the Nanny State Party. At the end of the day, I hope this guy is perfectly content with where he is at in life now because another run at the White House would be scary. Just stay in Cali dude because it’s pretty far away from me.

My Two Cents: Jerry Brown has actually done enough in one week to make him a Douchebag of the Year candidate. What a piece of shit this guy is! I can’t give him the award for one thing this week, I’m giving it to him for all three things, which makes him the FIRST triple douche of all-time! First, Jerry Brown makes it law that a 12-year-old can give their own consent to the government giving them Gardasil vaccinations without their parent knowing. Secondly, Jerry Brown vetoed a bill, which in doing so allows law enforcement to do on-the-spot warrantless searches of people’s cell phones. Lastly, Jerry Brown signs the DREAM Act thus giving away free tuition to illegal immigrants for college paid for by tax dollars. This guy is beyond abhorrent. End Two Cents.

*Taken from SF Gate.

Thousands of California students in the country illegally will be eligible to receive state financial aid to attend public colleges, as Gov. Jerry Brown signed legislation Saturday known as the California Dream Act.

But Brown ducked a costly legal battle over affirmative action by vetoing a bill that would have let California’s public universities consider an applicant’s race and sex in admission decisions.

“I wholeheartedly agree with the goal of this legislation,” Brown said in his veto message of SB185. But because of Prop. 209 – the 1996 constitutional amendment approved by California voters that outlaws “preferential treatment” on the basis of race, sex, color, ethnicity or national origin in public employment, education or contracting – Brown said the courts, not the Legislature, should decide if changes can be made.

CONTINUED..

My Two Cents: FUCK ALASKA! End Two Cents.

*Taken from Politico.

Lisa Murkowski isn’t gunning down caribou on national TV like that other famous Alaskan, but the Republican lawmaker is going rogue in the Senate just weeks after staging the most stunning back-from-the-dead political win of the 2010 cycle.

Murkowski is already showing a fierce independent streak, becoming the only Republican to cast votes on all four items on President Barack Obama’s wish list: a repeal of “don’t ask, don’t tell,” a tax-cut compromise, the START deal and cloture for the DREAM Act.

The lame-duck votes capped a strange political odyssey for the Alaska Republican — one that started Aug. 31 when she conceded the GOP primary to tea-party-backed Joe Miller, continued when she resigned her leadership job in September and ended when she waged Alaska’s first successful statewide write-in bid to retain her seat. (See: The ABC’s of Murkowski’s write-in bid)

Now, she heads back to the Senate with a fresh six-year term without owing much to either her home state party establishment or her Washington leadership.

Murkowski’s willingness to defy Republican top brass after a bitter fight to keep her seat may mark a pivotal point in her career as she emerges as a real maverick foil to Sarah Palin, the conservative idol who put Alaska politics on the national map. And while conservatives who helped oust Murkowski from the GOP ticket in Alaska may howl about her being a “Republican In Name Only,” Murkowski could enjoy a powerful perch as a much-sought-after moderate in an almost evenly divided Senate. (See: Murkowski: Palin’s no leader)

“She’s a person who makes up her own mind, does what she thinks is right and always keeps the concerns of her state at the forefront,” moderate Sen. Susan Collins (R-Maine) told POLITICO of Murkowski, adding that the Alaskan was an important ally in helping overturn DADT.

“I can’t speak for Lisa’s plans; all I can tell you is that she is an extraordinarily effective senator and I’m sure she’s going to continue to play an absolutely critical role in the caucus and in the Senate.”

Collins, who calls Murkowski one of her “favorite people,” is not alone in her praise. Energy and Natural Resources Committee Chairman Jeff Bingaman (D-N.M.) emphasized Murkowski’s pragmatism as a venerable partner in attacking energy issues that typically draw partisan ire.

“She’s very interested in getting good results and not playing politics with issues,” Bingaman told POLITICO. “She and I have worked together well on the energy committee, and I think we have been able to operate that committee well on a bipartisan basis with her help.”

Murkowski is also developing a significant working relationship with Senate Majority Whip Dick Durbin (D-Ill.), who was one of the top negotiators on the DREAM Act, a bill that would have established a path to citizenship for illegal immigrants who enroll in college or the military. (See: Murkowski expects to retain seniority)

A Durbin aide said Murkowski was open to conversations on the DREAM Act “for a number of weeks,” and that the two senators “spoke regularly” on the issue before this weekend’s failed cloture vote, in which only three GOP members broke with their party.

The dramatic closing weeks to one of the most productive legislative sessions in history — and Murkowski’s role — might be one of the most interesting political prologues to a new Congress punctuated by the arrival of young conservatives. (See: Obama touts ‘season of progress’)

Murkowski declined to be interviewed for this story — and Alaskan officials have not yet certified her election because of pending suits from Miller. Randy DeSoto, a Miller spokesman, criticized Murkowski’s lame-duck votes in a statement to POLITICO.

On Dec. 13, UCLA Professor Kent Wong gave an impassioned speech at a rally held at MacArthur Park in Los Angeles with DREAM Act supporters in attendance. During his speech, Wong says that illegal immigrants will one day replace the ‘old white men’ in the Senate.

As sold to us by the King of Ethics: Charlie Rangel.

As sold to us by the guy who thinks Guam can capsize: Hank Johnson.

As sold to us by the guy who won’t read the bill: John Conyers.

And the opposition as presented by Dana Rohrabacher & Steve King.

-

*Taken from Forbes. Written by Shikha Dalmia.

It takes hard work to squander the kind of political clout Democrats have in this Congress, but they have managed quite nicely as yesterday’s debacle with the defense appropriations bill eloquently demonstrates. Even though Democrats control 59 seats in the Senate, they could not avoid a Republican filibuster of a bill that has had smooth sailing for 48 years. This effectively kills all hope of repealing Don’t Ask Don’t Tell or passing the Dream Act – both measures that they were poised to attach to the legislation. (The Dream Act would have created a pathway to legal citizenship for children of undocumented aliens.)

But Democrats have no one but themselves – in particular Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid’s arrogance and ObamaCare’s miscalculation – to blame.

This is not to suggest that Republicans behaved well in any of this. They didn’t. As usual, they demagogued both issues, trotting out tired old tropes that are becoming boring even to refute.

Every one knows that it is only a matter of time before America throws Don’t Ask into the dustbin of history. All civilized countries already allow their gay members to openly serve in the military without any noticeable effect on their military readiness, unit cohesiveness or any of the other things that Republicans get worked up about. Indeed, Israel arguably has the best fighting force in the world even though it has always allowed – indeed, required – gays to serve, as I wrote last year. Yet Republicans wanted a defense study to confirm everything everyone already knows before signing off on a repeal.

Don’t Ask, however, will eventually go given the growing and overwhelming public opposition to it – even in the military’s own ranks. That is not the case with the Dream Act on which Republicans have inflamed public opinion almost to a point of no return. They called the Dream Act – yawn! –  amnesty, an accusation that Democrats deny. They shouldn’t. The Act, which would give children of illegal aliens who sign up for military service or obtain a college education a shot at citizenship, is amnesty. And there is nothing wrong with it.

In an age when everyone is vying for victimhood status, the Dream Act youth are among the few who are genuine victims. Their predicament is truly not their fault. They had no say in being brought to this country illegally. Many of them have no ties left to their home country, don’t speak its language, and don’t know its ways. They are in a legal no-man’s land, having built a hearth in a country where they don’t have an official home. Giving them legal status would be an easy call for anyone of goodwill — even those who want to slam the door shut on everyone else. Indeed, extending amnesty to children of undocumented aliens is not all that different from extending it to people fleeing persecution, something that our – and every free – country does.

But restrictionists have blinded themselves to all humanitarian considerations, regurgitating bogus talking points till they acquire an air of plausability. For example, they point out that the Dream Act would allow these children to pay in-state tuition in college, something that out-of-state American kids don’t get. But the reason that it is fair to extend the in-state rate to these kids and not others is that their parents for years have contributed to their state’s public colleges through sales, property and even income taxes.

Even more fallacious is the restrictionist argument that legalizing these kids will only encourage more illegal immigration. This sounds like an open admission that they have no intention of fixing the country’s broken immigration system, the root cause of the problem. The reason poor, unskilled aliens have to sneak into this country is that there are very few visas available for them to enter legally. And if they are lucky enough to get one, it doesn’t allow them to work in the country while applying for a green card or legal residency — unlike  H1-B visas that high skilled workers use. The idea that there is some kind of line that unskilled workers could stand in and wait their turn to gain legal residency is a complete figment of the restrictionist imagination.

Nor is it the case that denying amnesty would make an iota of difference to future rates of illegal immigration. People come here to escape their economic destitution. It is far more preferable to them to eke out a living in this country illegally — than face slow starvation in their own. That their children will be denied legal status at some point in the future will make no palpable difference to folks confronting a life-and-death situation now.

Be that as it may, it was entirely predictable that Republicans would ignore all of this and make every effort to derail Don’t Ask and the Dream Act. But Democrats needed only one – one! – Republican vote to avoid a filibuster, apart from holding their coalition together. This was hardly a Herculean undertaking given that there were at least two Republicans – Susan Collins and Olympia Snowe of Maine – who were either wholly or partially sympathetic to the bill. They both represent the bluest of blue states and therefore had every incentive to go along with their Democratic colleagues. But Sen. Harry Reid’s refusal to entertain any more than three amendments to the bill when it is customary to consider scores –even hundreds –completely alienated the two senators. Some press reports suggest that Reid eventually relented, but it is inconceivable that Sen. Collins would go on the Senate floor and cite that as her main reason for not going along with the Democrats if he in fact had. Is it possible that instead of a victory he wanted an issue to stoke his home state, Nevada’s, sizeable Latino community to vote for him in November against those evil Republicans?

But if Harry Reid was the proximate cause of this bill’s demise, ObamaCare was the fundamental cause. The ugly, hardball tactics that Democrats deployed to shove this unpopular legislation down everyone’s throat have so poisoned the well on Capitol Hill that Democrats have no good will left to make strategic alliances on even reasonable legislation anymore. When a party has such huge majorities, even small gestures of reconciliation are enough to splinter the ranks of opponents and obtain cooperation. But Democrats played the game of our way or the highway with ObamaCare, ignoring warnings that this would render them completely impotent for the rest of President Obama’s term. Indeed, Republican Senator Lindsey Graham of South Carolina,who had been working with Senator Chuck Schumer of New York to craft comprehensive immigration reform, gave up in disgust in the wake of ObamaCare.

How ironic that a president who got elected on the promise of bipartisan comity has produced nothing but partisan rancor. And his signature legislation that was supposed to save America’s most vulnerable has begun by throwing them under the bus.