No, you read that right. You might think birthers are crazy conspiracy theorists, but you can’t say they’re inconsistent. The fringe group of politicians and concerned voters who have long dogged President Obama for “proof” that he is a natural born citizen are now targeting Mitt Romney. They demand that the California Secretary of State produce evidence that Mitt is eligible to run for president. One birther explains that Romney’s citizenship is up for debate because his dad was born in Mexico. Thats right, Mitt Romney’s father was born in the Mexican colony that Mitt’s great-grandfather founded after fleeing the United States so he could stay married to Romney’s four great-grandmothers. Let’s all just let that sink in for a moment.

Source: MSN.

*Written by Rob Rimes.

I’ve lost count of all the debates that we’ve had thus far but thank god we only have another half dozen or so, unless of course they decide to work more into the schedule somewhere. This one was thrown by Fox News and held in South Carolina as their primary is less than a week away. Fox News gave us Bret Baier and Juan Williams with Kelly Evans and Gerald Seib from the Wall Street Journal as moderators for this round. I should mention that answers in this debate have been expanded to ninety seconds, as the GOP field is now narrowed down to five. Yes, five.

The reason being, is that Jon Huntmsman dropped out of the race earlier in the day. Huntsman, who was great on foreign policy, jumped ship and announced his endorsement for golden boy Mitt Romney. What’s disappointing about that is Huntsman was incredibly critical of Romney even less than a week prior. Huntsman went as far as to call Romney “unelectable” but now he is supporting him as he sees him as the best chance at beating Barack Obama. Huntsman lost a lot of credibility with me due to his blooming Romney love. Maybe it’s a Mormon thing or maybe it’s because they are both actually cousins, which has been ignored by the media mind you. Whatever the reason, Huntsman is out and he’s now on the Romney train like so many other so-called “conservatives” that aren’t able to see their own progressive ways. At least Huntsman can go back to his regular job of walking around on eight legs and scaring the shit out of Australians.

Newt Gingrich gets the first question and he is asked about his ads that attack Mitt Romney’s business record and if he thinks they are justified. Newtie Bootie says that it is important to look at and analyze job creation. He then quickly gets in a Ronald Reagan name drop and follows it up with a second Ronald Reagan name drop when he said that he and Clinton came up with a Reagan-like program for job creation in the 90′s. Newt points to the fact that Mitt raised taxes in Massachusetts and was actually ranked 47th out of 50 states in the realm of job creation. He stole that talking point from Jon Huntsman. Gingrich adds that if Romney promotes his business skills as part of his campaign then he, as a rival candidate, has the right to question it. He is then asked what he thinks about the Wall Street Journal criticizing him and saying that he is “embarrassing himself” with his attack ads against Mitt Romney. Gingrich responds by saying that he isn’t intimidated by the media just because he is asking questions about candidates.

In an effort to respond, Mitt Romney says that he has real experience in job creation due to his time in the private sector. Mitt says that he learned a lot from working in the private sector, as opposed to the other candidates who have spent much of their time in the public sector. He talks about how four of the companies he helped establish have gone on to create hundreds-of-thousands of jobs. Mitt adds that his record is public and available to anyone that wants to analyze his job creation skills. He claims that he has continually demonstrated a record of success. Romney points out that the unemployment rate in Massachusetts when he left was 4.7 percent. He also throws in that he balanced the state budget every year.

Rick Perry, in an effort to make this debate all about Mitt, is asked about his comments where he referred to Mitt Romney as a “vulture capitalist”. Perry is also asked what he would put in place to curb vulture capitalism. Perry says that his record proves that he is a real capitalist. Really? Tweaking the law and protecting a company that you own a stake in from getting in trouble for distributing porn illegally is the actions of a real capitalist? You mean taking money from Merck and then attempting to force young girls to be vaccinated with Merck products is also the action of a real capitalist? Looks like Perry is a fucking vulture too from where I sit. He then goes on to bitch like a liberal about how Bain destroyed jobs. He then tells us that his record and income tax has been public for years and uses that to call out Mitt and then asks him to release his income tax information so that the public can see how he really made his money. Perry then rambles about killing Dodd-Frank and talks about how regulations are strangling America. He adds that he will get rid of some of the financial regulators. He didn’t say “all of them”.

Responding to Perry, as this is the Romney variety hour, Mitt blames the Chinese and their cheating ways for closing down the steel mills Rick Perry was blaming Mitt for closing. Romney says that he agrees with Perry about regulations but never really defends himself in a proper fashion other than pointing his finger at China. Romney, on the regulations issue, claims that he will end all Obama era regulations. I guess the regulations from the Bush era, the Clinton era and all other eras aren’t important.

So just when you think that’s over, Gerald Seib asks Romney a question! Fucking hell! Romney answers the question, which was abut his experience at Bain. He says that they often times consolidated plants and factories and if they closed one down, the workers were free to move to the new plant or factory. He points out though that many workers didn’t move as the new jobs didn’t come with union support.

Ron Paul is asked about his “scathing” attack ads and whether or not such ads should be abandoned. Well, considering he’s running them, I doubt he’ll feel that they should be abandoned, duh! Paul responds by saying that he is exposing voting records and in that case, his “attacks” are proper. He goes on to say that he couldn’t fit everything he wanted to in his anti-Santorum ad as there wasn’t enough time to get it all in. He then goes on to list all the dumb crap that Santorum voted for.

Thin skinned piss boy Rick Santorum says that Paul is quoting Soros-like leftist groups which discredits his facts because leftist groups attack conservatives. Santorum basically says that being attacked by leftist groups is a badge of honor and he’s proud of the distinction. What a stupid fucktard! It doesn’t matter what the source is, the fact is the facts are FACTS! You can’t just ignore your own voting record and try to spin it to the public as leftist propaganda! Santorum who voted for No Child Left Behind says that he would veto it now. Of course he would, he’s pandering to South Carolinians. He then defends his vote against “right to work” as he says that Pennsylvania wasn’t a “right to work” state. Santorum who is outraged over the attacks on himself is then put on the spot by Juan Williams who asks if Santorum’s own attack ads should be pulled. The crowd boos Juan because they are idiot assholes and Santorum goes on to says that his attacks are “positive”. He then gets all bitchy with Mitt about his attack ads while citing the fact that it is Martin Luther King Day to make some dimwitted point. Why do people support this whiney juvenile brat?

Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum get in a spat about whether or not people who have committed violent crimes should be allowed to vote. I get bored to tears listening to them bicker as basically each candidate is trying to steal time from the other in order to make their lame ass points. While I’d like there to be some blood in these things, pink ass bitch blood isn’t as cool to see as the reddish bad ass real American blood. I was really just staring in awe waiting for these two Tinas to breakout with some limp-wristed slap fighting. And just when you think it’s over, Rick Perry jumps in the battle over who has the filthiest tampon.

Time monopolizer Mitt Romney is asked about Jon Huntsman’s recent criticism even though he came out and endorsed him. He is also asked how he can convince the voter that he won’t change his views in the future as he has a career as a flip-flopper. Mittens rambles on and on about how he was a pro-life governor contrary to popular belief and that he has always opposed gay marriage. However he adds that he is for equal rights for everyone including gays. Okay, so how is denying them marriage equal? Damn these Orwellian characters! Romney ends his soulless rant by saying that everything he has ever done and will do is about “strengthening America.”

In an effort to make himself relevant again, Rick Perry said that Texas was under assault by the federal government and then added that South Carolina was at war with Obama. The cheap pop attempt works and the crowd goes crazy. Too bad Perry is crazier than the crowd, he’s still deader than shit in this race. Perry talks about how the federal government is taking states to task on voter ID laws and immigration. He then says that Obama is at war with organized religion. Damn, Perry likes throwing the word “war” around. I’m starting to think he either doesn’t know what it means or it is just the answer to everything. “Obama is at war with peanuts! Send troops to the peanut farm! Obama is at war with puppies! Secure the entrance to PetLand!” Perry finishes by saying that Obama is out of control yet he fails to realize that he is foaming at the mouth and tweaking like an infant after two double espressos.

Santorum is asked if he would extend benefits for unemployment. Ricky Boy says that we need a reasonable time table for people to find a job but points out that 99 weeks is just too much. He goes on to say that this should be handled by the states and not the federal government. He calls for a job training program to be a part of unemployment benefits. Okay broski, how much will that shit cost? I’d imagine such a program would be expensive and even if we shortened the time one could collect benefits, the cost of this program could make all that moot. Truthfully, with the government being as wasteful as it is, this may cost us a shitload more than our current dilemma of 99 weeks. Also, when the hell has government done anything well? They certainly can’t offer a jobs program that will benefit anyone.

Gingrich jumps in the mix and agrees with Santorum that there should be a job training program. Okay idiots, what jobs are they training for and what happens when someone is six weeks into a program and decides that whatever they are training for is stupid and they want to get training in something else? Are people allowed to drop out and start over elsewhere and if so, how many times could they do this? Maybe once they start in something they are forced to finish it in order to get their benefits. Realistically, all this will do is waste more money as they will obviously stay in the program, collect the benefits and rack up more debt due to the cost of training them. What happens when they get out of the program? Well, I doubt they’d look for a job in the field they trained in if they grew to dislike it. Essentially this is a lose-lose for everyone but these statist shitcocks are blind to that reality. Newt Gingrich closes his statements on job programs by saying, “I’ll help you if you think helping yourself is good.” I shouldn’t even have to spell out what is wrong with that statement and I’m not going to.

Mitt Romney gives us another soulless rant. In this one he bitches about Obama’s business practices and use of crony capitalism. Romney says that the system of laws we have now work and that we don’t need government regulation. Is he living under a goddamned rock? The system of laws we have now IS government regulation. He adds that we need to open up markets and stop bailing people out. Right, he really wants to have free trade after all the smack he’s talked about China.

The idiot from Wall Street Journal Mr. Seib asks Ron Paul to explain his stance on cutting defense and more importantly on how his military plans would not cost South Carolinians jobs. Really? Is this a real question? Is this the best guy they could find to sit on the moderators’ panel? Ron Paul says that the moderator is confused about his position. He adds that he wants to cut military spending not defense and once again finds himself having to explain to the establishment conservatives for the umpteenth time over the course of these debates what the difference is between the two. Ron Paul says that cutting back on bases overseas would actually affect other countries not the United States. In fact, the U.S. would benefit greatly by bringing our troops home. Paul adds that the idea that this would make us weaker is “absolutely wrong”. Ron Paul is right on this because our presence is spread too thin throughout the world. He then points out that he raises more than twice as much money from the active duty military than all the other candidates combined! Slam dunk bitch! Watching this exchange is like watching Dr. Paul educate ADD-afflicted kindergartners in a college poli-sci class. Ron Paul finishes by quoting Eisenhower who warned about the “military industrial complex”. Paul slam dunks again when says, “We’re supposed to be conservative and that means spend less money!”

All the candidates are asked what the tax rate would be under them. Rick Perry says he will shoot for a 20 percent flat tax rate. Rick Santorum gives a weird answer because he’s probably never thought about this. Romney says that he would get us down to 25 percent but that is still too much. Newt calls for a 15 percent flat tax. Ron Paul then says that he would try to get us down to zero percent! He points to the fact that we didn’t have income tax before 1913 (well, excluding the Civil War era). His proposal is a reflection of how much he wishes to cut spending but the morons in the room can’t put two and two together and probably just think that Ron Paul’s still that crazy kook at the end of the bar. Paul also says that inflation is a tax and if he stopped inflation, we would be freed up from its hidden taxation.

Mitt Romney is asked if he will release his tax records soon. He gargles something about McCain and Bush and says that he hasn’t planned on releasing them. He says that he isn’t opposed to doing it however. He is then asked about his ties to Mexico and the crowd boos at the question. He is asked that if he has close ties to Mexico, why doesn’t he work towards helping Latinos and does he feel like his actions are alienating the Latino voters. Mitt says that Latinos, like all people, are interested in America because it is an “opportunity nation”. Mitt adds that he must communicate to all people that America can be better. He says that illegal immigrants shouldn’t be showed favoritism over those who have been waiting in line legally to enter this country. He then throws in that he would veto the DREAM Act.

Santorum starts pushing some mumbo jumbo about how if people get married before having children it’ll keep them out of poverty. He then blames Obama for everything and bitches about how public schools can’t promote marriage anymore. Santorum says that Obama is “..deliberately sabotaging young girls.” And Ron Paul is the crazy kook?

The moderators then ask Dr. Paul about racial disparities in drug related arrests and convictions. Paul says that it is very clear that racial disparity exists in both those convicted of drug charges and those sentenced to the death penalty. Paul points out that murderers often times get out of jail before drug offenders. He says that the drug war is bringing violence to our border and that it is the real border security issue of today.

Newt Gingrich is criticized about recent comments he made about blacks needing to ask for jobs instead of food stamps. He’s asked if he sees this sort of rhetoric as insulting to blacks, if not all people. Of course Gingrich says it isn’t insulting. He tells some weak story about how his daughter was a janitor at thirteen and how she loved making money and therefore black people should like it too. Juan Williams presses Newt further but gets booed by the South Carolinians in the crowd. What the fuck? Between this and the Romney-Mexico issue, these people are coming off as backwoods bigoted rednecks and people wonder why Republicans have that sort of stereotype! Newt adds that Obama has put more people on food stamps than any other president. While this may be true, it was the Bush administration that really got that ball rolling for Obama. In the end, Newt Gingrich doesn’t explain how his ideas help blacks, he just brushes it off and doesn’t bother dispelling the concerns brought up by the only minority on the stage or on the panel as a chorus of boos continue to be directed at that minority.

Ron Paul is then asked about comments he never made that he supposedly didn’t want to track down Osama bin Laden. Dr. Paul informs the moderators that he never said such a thing and that he voted for the military to apprehend the Al-Qaeda leader. Paul says his frustration was in how the situation was handled as we had the guy cornered before and didn’t go after him, instead we fucked around for a decade and then finally nabbed him almost ten years after 9/11. Paul adds that he wanted a properly executed mission but the whole situation was handled awfully. He then says that we need to respect other nations’ sovereignty and we need to follow proper procedures and not dig bigger holes for ourselves. Bret Baier takes a jab at Ron Paul and says that his stance on taking down terrorists is “to the left of Obama”. Ron Paul points out that we went in and got Saddam Hussein quickly. He then questions why acting quickly, capturing the enemy and detaining them to ask them questions is a bad thing yet waiting a decade and then flat out killing them is perceived as great.

Gingrich is asked if he would go into Pakistan to kill terrorists without getting permission from Pakistan first, even if doing so would end our relationship with Pakistan. Newt doesn’t answer the question, he just immediately attacks Ron Paul and says that Dr. Paul’s stance on foreign policy is “irrational”. Gingrich continues to ignore the question and goes on to just talk shit about Pakistan for continually reaping the benefits of foreign aid but not helping us militarily. Yep, because giving foreign aid apparently isn’t an act of kindness it is a transaction where we buy the countries we “aid”. Gingrich then channels Andrew Jackson and says, “Andrew Jackson had a clear cut idea about Americas enemies…KILL THEM!” This soundbite was met with thunderous applause because just like the establishment dickheads on stage, the majority of the South Carolinians in that building would rather murder someone who doesn’t like us than attempt to work towards a peaceful resolution.

Ron Paul then responds to Newt by saying that if other countries did to us what we do to them, we wouldn’t be cool with it. He then goes on to use the “golden rule” example and the rude crowd starts booing Ron Paul loudly! These people are sick! They are very vocally supporting murder and want to hear nothing of peace. This is the Republican stereotype that will continue to keep sane people away from their party. Paul doesn’t falter like other candidates however. He powers through his points, despite the evil jeers of the scumbags booing. Those of us that don’t condone unjustified cold-blooded murder and imperialism cheer from our living rooms because the oldest man in the room stood strong against the vehement hatred and hunger of hundreds of establishment zombies who only call a man crazy because they don’t have the brain power to understand him. I think it was Dave Chappelle who once said that people use the word “crazy” to describe things that they don’t understand. At this point, it doesn’t matter how many times Dr. Paul tries to educate the idiots, eventually you’ve got to just accept the fact that some people are ignorant and move on. Hopefully Dr. Paul learned this lesson but kudos to him for not faltering before these assholes. Another lesson learned, South Carolinians are rude as fuck.

So immediately after the sane man made his statements, Mitt Romney essentially went on a rant that we’ve got to “Kill! Kill! Kill!” and he actually said, “A bullet in the head is the right course of action.” Yep, this also got thunderous applause from the pro-murder sect of the Republican Party. Romney then went on to say that he would build a military so strong that no one would test the United States and thus, it would keep us out of war. He does realize that we go to war with everyone else first, not the other way around, right? I know.. I know, I’m giving this haircut too much credit.

Rick Santorum gets in ”Kill! Kill! Kill!” mode as well and starts bashing Obama for being what he deems as pro-Assad because we put an embassy in Syria. Yeah dude, why reach out and try to build a relationship when you can just shove bombs down their throats?! Santorum spins it into Obama being anti-Israel as Syria is in bed with Iran. Of course the racist “bomb the world” crowd cheers and cheers.

Perry has to get some ”Kill! Kill! Kill!” action too! He says that he wants to send a powerful message to Iran, Syria and Turkey. He takes a little bitch shot at Ron Paul because he’s a pandering redneck dickweed. He then goes on to defend the Marines that pissed on the dead Taliban soldiers which gets the asshole crowd on their feet. I get this feeling in my gut that the Sith have finally come out of hiding. Perry rambles on and on about decapitated soldiers in an attempt to excuse the heinous acts of our Marines. He then tries to explain that Obama is to blame as his bad policies affected the military. Huh? What? Is this dude drinking all the left over vaccinations he couldn’t force into young girls’ arms?

Here’s the kicker of the night however. Mitt Romney was asked about NDAA and he actually says that he would have signed it into law as Obama has! Romney gets a chorus of boos from the asshole crowd but this time I agree with them. Mitt demands more time so he can explain himself; time is granted and then he just rambles incoherently about it and about expanding military power. Okay, so unless you have been in the dark for months, Mitt Romney is for a Nazi-like law that allows the military to arrest and detain American citizens without due process! This guy is leading in the polls people!

Oh wait! Rick Santorum is also on board and he even tries to dispel concerns about the law proving that he is completely ignorant on the subject and incompetent as a decision maker. What does that tell you when a guy who has been a Washington insider, as long as Rick Santorum has, can’t understand a law that he is reading. Then again, the prick never even probably thumbed through the evil bill.

They quickly move over to Ron Paul and change the subject. Paul, who has been a big critic of the NDAA bill, requests time to talk about the issue. Paul is given the opportunity by the moderators. He talks about how the bill is tyrannical and how it destroys the 4th Amendment and our constitutional rights. He says that Americans being held indefinitely without habeas corpus is a horrible thing.

On sacred cow entitlements, Romney says that he would adopt the Paul Ryan Plan in regards to dealing with the Medicare problem. He goes on to say that he would provide “..higher benefits for lower income people and lower benefits for higher income people.” Yep, he’s not a progressive shitbag. Newt calls for the Chilean model on Social Security and adds that Social Security under his plan would be voluntary.

Rick Santorum is asked if his jobs plan is crony capitalism as it seems to pick winners and losers. Ricky Boy says that he would cut corporate taxes for everybody, so it’s fair. He then rants and raves about foreign competition. When the hell did our leaders turn into such pussies, so afraid of foreign competition? Man the fuck up and compete bitch! He then goes on to whine about regulations. Wait, isn’t he responsible for a lot of those? Baier signals that his time is up and Santorum snaps at Baier like the little Yorkshire lapdog bitch that he is. No one wants to hear your boring rant dipshit! Not even Fox News who has been the only force pimping you out! Santorum’s tantrum then turns over to Newt and they bicker back and forth and I zone out and go to the kitchen for a granola bar.

Juan Williams questions Mitt Romney’s consistency and asks him how he is pro-gun rights when he was the first governor to ever sign an assault weapons ban. Mitt tells Juan that he worked with both pro-gun and anti-gun groups on the legislation and they all agreed on it. He even mentions that he took a picture with the leaders of both groups when the bill was signed. He then talks about hunting elk and pheasants. Wow, you’re a tough cookie Mittens!

Santorum is asked about his anti-gun history and he goes on to say that all his votes were supported by the NRA. He said that they supported him signing certain laws because if they didn’t something worse might come down the pipeline. Oh c’mon! What a crock of shit! So you eat a small piece of poop today because you fear that if you don’t there might be a big piece of poop tomorrow?! No dude, you stand by your convictions and you kick both piles of poop and call it a day. Santorum is such a weak pushover hoe. He lets fear dictate his life, whether that’s fear of hypothetical future legislation or fear of a God he doesn’t even understand. Rick Santorum is of the old establishment mentality that you have to take away some rights in order to protect other rights. This guy is beyond stupid.

This discussion about guns carries over to Ron Paul who says that gun laws should be left to the state. Santorum then has to make it known that Ron Paul tried to do away with the 2nd Amendment! Really? God, doesn’t the Bible talk ill of liars? There goes Ricky Boy disappointing Jesus again! Ron Paul says that he would repeal anything that would ban guns. He then points out that Rick Santorum is just nibbling away at the Constitution for his own means.

Newt Gingrich goes on to defend himself from being accused of supporting China’s “one child policy”. He says that he never, in any way, supported that policy. He and Mitt then get into a pointless quarrel over Super PACs. Mitt days that he would get rid of Super PACs as they are corrupt and wrong. Rick Perry then closes out the debate talking about troops on the border and “aviation assets”. In his funny Texan accent he promises to “..lock the border down within a year after taking my hand off of that Bible.”

This debate was hard to watch. The audience was absolutely awful and even though I talked some shit about South Carolina, I hope that their attitudes and behavior doesn’t reflect that of the rest of the state. I guess we’ll find out as the next debate is also in South Carolina. If the crowd at that one is just as ridiculous, it’ll deter me from ever wanting to set foot in that state again!

In the end, Ron Paul did well, even with the whole world seemingly against him. It wasn’t his best performance but it was solid enough. I believe that Romney walked away weak, especially after his NDAA comments. Plus he just pandered and filibustered most of the debate. Newt did really well despite the Fox News and Wall Street Journal moderators trying to “gotcha” him to death and hang him out to dry. Rick Santorum is going to end up sucking gay dicks in Hell so I don’t care about him. Perry is probably going to drop the fuck out because again, he’s deader than shit in this race.

I tried to keep this one short and sweet but these idiots just give you so much material to rip apart and bash.

Grading Scale:
Grade B-: Newt Gingrich
Grade B-: Ron Paul
Grade D: Rick Perry
Grade D-: Mitt Romney
Grade F: Rick Santorum

*Written by Rob Rimes.

This debate was awesome! No, it wasn’t necessarily the best as far as content and hammering home runs but it was by far the most entertaining. There were fights, poking, prodding and almost a few punches thrown in. In fact, I have never seen Mitt Romney turn so red. It was great and the best part was that the three candidates I like the least looked like the biggest bitches of the night. How so? Well, let me break down the debate and expose the little hoes for their little hoe actions while the adults and misfits in the room just stared on in gleeful excitement of what should have been a few campaign implosions. Of course there aren’t any implosions because the media has to continue to prop up their golden boys.

To start, we are given Anderson Cooper as the moderator of the debate. I like having one moderator and I like Cooper much better than throat-gurgler John King and the man with the coolest name ever Wolf Blitzer. Coop did a good job at keeping the debate moving, probably better than any moderator on any other channel. He also stirred the pot in a good way to get the trio of prima-donnas worked up just enough to make for great television. My hat, if I were currently wearing one, would be tipped for Mr. Cooper.

The debate started off with the generic introductions. Santorum came out and waved to the crowd like a dork dick. He used his kids for an early cheap pop from the crowd and came off as a lame ass. Bachmann was smiling so wide that you couldn’t see her eyes. She was dressed like a cast member of ‘The Love Boat’. Ron Paul referred to himself as the “champion of liberty”, which he is compared to this bunch. Cain said he’s a problem solver and Mitt said he was as well. Mitt’s already jacking for beats. Perry calls himself an “authentic conservative not a conservative of convenience.” Ex-Democrats are funny. Newt then steps up and just lets us know that he’s up in the house in rabid honey badger form!

Hey, there’s no Jon Huntsman! Oh, that’s because he is boycotting Vegas because of some early primary drama or something. It’s pretty goddamned stupid to boycott a pivotal debate when your numbers are so dismal but whatever. In any event, this was Jon Huntsman’s best debate yet! Santorum was also supposed to boycott but apparently he doesn’t stand by what he says. He should have because he failed in this debate and looked like a total fucking bitch. In fact, let me break down Racquetball Rick’s performance at the Las Vegas debate.

Rick Santorum, the poster boy for Penn balls, starts off his portion of the debate jumping in on the 999 bashing. He claims that Cain’s 999 Plan is not good for families. Rick Santorum isn’t good for anyone, plain and fucking simple. Santorum also squeezes in some time to suck the peepees of Romney and Perry when the discussion of job creation comes up. Santorum is a panderer who knows he will lose and is trying to butter up the golden boys in an effort to get a job when his teaching gig at the tennis club is over.

However, just to set himself apart in a wasted no-win effort, Santorum drags the Romneycare skeleton back out of the closet. When Mitt dismisses it and promises to kill Obamacare no matter what, Santorum has a meltdown and acts like the biggest bitch ever; I think his water must’ve broke! In fact, Santorum talks over Mitt and runs down Mitt’s time to respond and when the time runs out, Santorum gladly taunts Mitt by saying, “You’re out of time Mitt!” Wow, what a fanciful tactic employed by such a worthless maroon. This would not be the only time Mitt faced some heat. All this did though was make Santorum look like a bratty child and it hurt his run for the White House.

Santorum, the time thief, then gets into a spat with Rick Perry which is also a waste of time since it is between these two. He goes on some pro-relgio-family rant that no one is paying attention to. Santorum is asked if what religion a candidate is is important. He responds with values, values, morals, morals, family, family, faith, faith, Jesus, amen. When the issue of military spending comes up, Santorum promises not to cut a penny and says that it is the president’s job to protect the people. If that’s true, Obama better step in homie and protect you from yourself because every time you open your mouth it is like witnessing career suicide. And that’s basically it for Santorum.

Where’s Gary Johnson?

The next candidate I should examine is Michele Bachmann. Like Santorum and Huntsman, I can’t believe she is still in this race. I guess performing in Vegas for the GOP crowd with Wayne Newton in your corner is a potential campaign booster but I doubt it will matter here. In fact, it really doesn’t. Bachmann just does her Bachmann schtick and unless she is giving out free concert tickets like she did in Iowa for straw poll votes, she’s pretty much a non-contender at this point.

Somehow, Bachmann was lucky enough to get the first question from Anderson Cooper. She used this opportunity to jump right into bashing Herman Cain’s 999 Plan. She went as far as to say it could become 90-90-90. Yeah, that’s pretty extreme lady, even for the federal government. Scare tactics, even ones that carry some truth, eventually backfire. Bachmann goes on to explain, from her POV, that the 999 Plan is just going to open the door for a VAT tax. She’s not necessarily wrong here. It amazes me though that Bachmann has 5 years more experience in politics than Herman Cain does. He’s so smooth and calculating while she just feeds into my worst media-manufactured fears about her.

At some point during the debate when others are talking, Bachmann keeps calling out “..Anderson, Anderson, Anderson..” like Mr. Cooper is one of her 9,743 foster kids. She goes on some generic “repeal, repeal, repeal” spiel and tells us to visit MicheleBachmann.com. I guess she’s running a special Tea party Beanie Baby sale or something. With her weird cruise director-style frosted white shirt and crazed look, I can’t help but think she looks like a piece of fascist angel food cake.

When it comes time to talk about illegal immigration, Bachmann admits that not only does she want to build a fence, she wants to build a double fence! Whoa! Lady that’s crazy! I thought you were a “fiscal conservative”? Isn’t a double fence essentially two fences? And aren’t two fences twice as expensive as one fence? Maybe the fence store is running a two-for-on special on fences this week. If that’s the case, I guess she can somewhat claim the title of “fiscal conservative” but realistically, even one fence is expensive as hell.

Other Bachmann highlights are that she says she will enforce English as the language of America. Not sure how she’ll enforce it but it sounds like something a neocon would say right before putting a gun to your head. Bachmann says she is concerned about magnets. Apparently, those pesky illegals get stuck to them and we can’t get them off. Bachmann also says that she spends most of her time talking to moms. One has to wonder if they are real moms or her alter-egos. She’s stealing a page from the Palin playbook with her mom comment but at least she didn’t call them grizzly bears or bullfrogs or whatever. Bachmann goes on to sell us on the Iran charade about them wanting to eat our kids and blast us with bombs they don’t have. Bachmann has no real answers to any real questions except the one about Israel. She basically says she’ll throw money at them which gets a cheap pop from the crowd. Closing out the night Bachmann says she is the “most different” candidate from Obama on the stage. Nope, Ron Paul is lady. You’re just shit smeared on burnt toast.

Next up is Captain Boring a.k.a. Rick Perry. This guy is dry, humorless and a horrible wordsmith. Between the long pauses and the staring off into space, Perry’s verbalized thoughts were incredibly hard to follow. He has no substance, just very boring talking points and a haircut.

Rick Perry also jumps on the anti-999 train, as it is the popular thing to do. He goes off on Cain about his plan even though he has no plan of his own. As he says at every debate, his plan is “on the way”. After the 999 exchange, Perry goes on some sort of energy speech/rant that gets some applause. I think they were just clapping because he finished a thought albeit somewhat sluggishly. It was hard to follow what he was saying as it was about as coherent as my drunk Uncle Seymour singing Klingon opera over Soulja Boy beats.

Perry claims that Texas has one of the best medical systems in the world which brings up the discussion about creating magnets for illegal aliens. This discussion almost turns into an all out war between Perry and Romney. Perry claims that Romney knowingly hired illegal aliens to work in his mansion, which sets Romney off. Romney tries to argue back but Perry, like Santorum, talks over Romney trying to sabotage his defense and use up his time. Romney gets angrier and angrier and visibly turns red. The Mormon fire is burning inside! However, the Texas fire is burning too! Both guys take some low blows and some cheap shots and no one really cares about the substance, we just want to see a fight. Man, I wish they would’ve started swinging so it would kill both of their campaigns. Then again, people would probably applaud it and both would skyrocket in the polls. Where I stand, these guys failed miserably, as did Santorum. My three least favorite candidates looked like a trio of whiney emotional tools.

Other Perry highlights include him calling for a virtual defense program over a fence. He also mentions that drones are being trained. I guess he thinks drones are people. Aw.. that’s kinda cute. Perry is a special fella. Perry goes on to punk out Bachmann on her double fence talk however it backfires as all his two-year-old bitching is getting him, at this point, is boos. One good thing Perry does say though, is that we need to seriously look at the issue of foreign aid and that we need to defund the UN. Perry then claims he made Facebook, eBay and Caterpillar or something like that. He did work for Al Gore so I can see where those sort of delusions may have come from.

Looking at Mitt Romney’s performance is tedious. Yes he looks presidential and he even acts presidential considering that the last handful of them were pandering thieving lying douches. In fact, he is also a copycat as he goes right after Cain’s 999 Plan to kick off his side of the debate. Mitt and Herman exchange blows and their argument does nothing to convince me that either is right in their stance.

Apart from the War of the Haircuts between Mittens and Perry, there weren’t many Mitt highlights. He spent most of his time defending himself while being talked over. He also turned a weird shade of red a few times. However a few notable things were that he pimped out states’ rights and he showed that he has more catchphrases than the Rock. He also tried to educate Ron Paul on foreign policy but this was like watching a preschooler telling a surgeon how to do open heart surgery. Mitt did have a great diss though when he equated Perry’s experience as governor to a college football coach that has lost 40 games.

Newt Gingrich was somewhat of a savior for the debate as Anderson Cooper usually went to him after the children in the room were having a spat. Newt in his cool, calm and collective way worked the room like a goddamned mastermind and once again shined and earned the respect of those watching. As I’ve said several times, I do not fully agree with Newt’s policies but goddamn he’s a leader and a fucking statesman. I used to loathe this guy and he has won me over which is damn near impossible to do once you’ve made it on my shit list. Newt has done just that though and I love watching this guy debate. He’d eat up Obama like a Kid Cuisine. If Ron Paul wasn’t in this race, I’d probably vote for Newt. Unfortunately, Gary Johnson, my second choice, gets no respect and he can’t gain momentum without being invited to the debates.

Newt also gets involved in the 999 debate and says that there are a lot more complexities to the plan than Herman Cain is letting on. I agree. Newt gives Cain props for bringing us something real to discuss and look at but he can’t fully support the idea. Newt goes on to call out Romney as a big government stooge with his Romneycare plan. Mitt then rebuttals Newt with a lie about Newt and Newt quickly checks his ass like Wolverine backhanding a stray cat. Newt don’t care! Newt don’t give a shit! “Watch out”, says that bird!

Herman Cain, who surged after the last debate, had a pretty weak performance in my opinion and I believe it is because his lack of political experience is finally showing. As the debate started with everyone attacking his 999 Plan, he really did nothing to defend it. He continually told everyone that they were wrong, regardless of their information. He told everyone to read the plan and to do their own math. Sorry brother but this isn’t going to fly. You can’t keep telling people to read it, you have to educate the people first and get them passionate about it. If you don’t have the ability to defend your plan without just brushing off criticism as being wrong, then no one will care. My biggest fear is that Cain really has no rebuttal because all the critics are right. By how this has been handled by Cain himself, I’m siding with the critics. Besides, everything they’ve said, I’ve thought about myself before this debate. After reading the bill, I can’t find anything in it to correct or even soothe these concerns. All Cain really gives us is talk of “apples and oranges”. He seems to get really flustered by all the haters and his tone changes a bit with each candidate who doubts him. As pimpalicious as Cain can be, he showed signs of having thin skin.

Getting away from the 999 issue, Cain tells us that we need to repeal Obamacare and look at revisiting bill HR 3400 as a way to help solve the issues with health care in this country. I’ll have to read up on that. Cain also mentions that we need to promote our path to citizenship in an effort to help alleviate the illegal alien issue. Cain owns up to flip-flopping on TARP. He’s had many other economic follies however. Cain says the anger of the Occupy Wall Street Movement is misdirected yet he takes a bullet for the Federal Reserve again. Cain is a minion of the Fed, that much is clear at this point. This spawns into an argument with Ron Paul about the tyranny of the Federal Reserve, which I’ll touch on in a bit.

Cain tells us he will not negotiate with terrorists under any circumstances which contradicts something he said in an interview earlier in the day before the debate. Cain closes out the night by pimping his skills at running small companies. I never knew that Coca-Cola, Burger King, Godfather’s Pizza, Pillsbury, Nabisco, Whirlpool and Reader’s Digest were small companies. Surprising, because I see them everywhere.

Ron Paul probably had his best debate yet. He starts by calling the 999 Plan dangerous and that we need to replace the income tax with nothing! Hell yes! He says that he promises to cut $1 trillion dollars in his first year! Oh hell yeah! I bet “fiscal conservative” Bachmann dropped a turd in her ‘Love Boat’ digs when she heard that. When asked about an alternative to Obamacare, Paul says there needs to be no alternative and that individuals should be allowed to opt out of government medicine if they want to. I can dig that. Ron Paul points out that as soon as the government becomes involved in anything, lobbyists line up.

Ron Paul calls for us to examine the real reasons why illegal aliens flock to America and that we have to end these incentives and promote citizenship. He points out that in a free society the group mentality would dissolve, there would be no more “us versus them”. Herman Cain cuts in to tell us that 999 will give Latinos the American dream. Ron Paul talks about securing the border but shows us our own folly when he informs the clueless pack of non-liberty candidates that they are more concerned with the Afghanistan-Pakistan border than the United States-Mexico border.

On the Yucca Mountain issue, Ron Paul calls for states’ rights and says that no state should be forced to be the other 49 states garbage dump. In this case, Nevada would be made the United States’ nuclear waste dump. This is an issue that gets brushed under the rug, as the only people it really effects is the people of Nevada.

The next big Ron Paul moment came at the expense of Herman Cain when he was compelled to educate Fed insider Cain on the reality of the Federal Reserve, which he willingly took another bullet for. In reference to Occupy Wall Street, Paul tells Cain that we need to take the anger to the Federal Reserve and that we need to understand bubbles and their origin. Paul tells Cain to not trust the government and to put his trust in the marketplace. True words from a real man.

Ron Paul then feels the need to once again educate the candidates and the people watching on the difference between military spending and defense spending. He warns that we are spread too thin all over the world and that we are overextending our resources. He says that we’d be safer if we weren’t in so many places. On foreign aid, Ron Paul refers to it as a system that steals from the poor in a rich country (the United States) and gives to the rich in a poor country. He talks about how our foreign aid makes Israel dependent on us and it prevents them from fully standing on their own two feet. Ron Paul’s shocking honesty is met with gasps because the truth hurts like a motherfucker.

In the end, this was a pretty good debate. The lovers quarrels were entertaining and Anderson Cooper ran a smooth show. Cooper also gave a fair amount of time to everyone for the most part. I felt that Ron Paul was on more of an even playing field with the golden boy candidates and everyone really got their say in about most of the topics. CNN certainly stepped their game up and it was kind of refreshing.

Anyway, this was like the 37th debate and I know we have several dozen more so it is going to be a long road for all of these candidates. I will say this though, it is time for Santorum, Huntsman and Bachmann to drop out. You’re wasting our time and without you there the top tier guys could get more time to hash some shit out. I know, I know.. you’re still in the hunt. You can’t back out yet, you’re all just on the cusp of going from 3% to 4%. Besides, who am I, or anyone else for that matter, to ask for any favors. Ah well, guess I’m stuck watching the preliminary card before the real fight.

Grading Scale:
Grade A+: Ron Paul
Grade A-: Newt Gingrich
Grade C-: Herman Cain
Grade D: Mitt Romeny
Grade D-: Rick Perry
Grade F: Rick Santorum
Grade F: Michele Bachmann
Grade I: Jon Huntsman
Grade I: Gary Johnson

*Written by Rob Rimes.

Keeping up with all these debates is fucking tedious! I feel like this is an ongoing weekly drama except the excitement is nonexistent and the cliffhangers are lame. I know I have bitched about the media’s obsession about Chris Christie and all the other hypothetical candidates but shit, apart from Ron Paul and Newt Gingrich, these people are like a triple-dose of Ambien washed down with a mason jar full of cheap 100 proof swill. Although this debate was pretty damn good.

To add to the excitement, we got Mr. Excitement himself Charlie Rose hosting this damn thing! Mr. Rose put me to sleep the whole fucking night and other than the fact that he is ancient and I guess a legend to some, I can’t gather why Bloomberg or the Washington Post put this guy up there as the master of ceremonies. I partially blame those pesky Thundercats for luring Mumm-Ra out of his tomb. Fuck you Lion-O, fuck you.

The one refreshing thing is that this particular debate has three major differences than all the other debates thus far. First, the entire debate is focused on economic issues. Second, the candidates will be allowed to ask each other questions in the last hour. Third, there are no podiums; the candidates are all sitting around what Charlie Rose refers to as “the kitchen table”. Unfortunately Herman Cain didn’t bring pizza for the whole family.

Now I’m not going to break this down play-by-play like the last several debate recaps, I’m just going to give you the rundown of each person and highlight a few of the memorable moments. Certain things for me shifted in this debate, most notably Herman Cain falling from my graces as my 3rd choice. He is now at the bottom of the barrel and Newt has moved to third. My first is obviously Ron Paul and my second is Gary Johnson. Speaking of which, where the fuck is Gary Johnson?! Once again, homeboy gets the fucking shaft! He shined last debate and had the joke of the night (albeit stolen from Rush Limbaugh) but damn it he’s earned his spot on that stage, especially if they’re going to invite Santorum and Huntsman to all these damn shindigs.

To start, lets visit the golden boys Mitt Romney and Rick Perry. I’ll break down Perry before Mittens because I love stepping on Perry’s withered Texas nuts. This debate provided him with the platform he needed to get back in the hunt. Fortunately, he fell flat again. Granted, Perry didn’t do as bad as he has done in previous debates but it was like he was sitting this one out. I think he was asleep. His performance was so boring that I literally heard crickets with Texas accents. I fucking shit you not.

Perry essentially recycles his failed tactics of his previous debates and feeds us a bunch of talking points that wouldn’t hold up to any real fact checker. In fact, most of these taking points have become redundant and even though they have been debunked and exposed as lies debate after debate, Rick Perry keeps on shoving them down our throats. It’s fucking moronic and we are all wise to it. He’s losing support because even the shitcocks who were worshipping his prune nuts earlier in the race are now waking up and seeing the skewed reality of this wretched brown-eye’s schtick. Then again, there are still some shitcocks doing a jig for this tyrannosaurus dick.

The best piece of egg that landed on Perry’s face was when he was confronted about his economic plan. Well folks, three months into this fucking thing and Perry doesn’t have a plan. He can’t even explain what his plan is going to be. He promises to have one shortly but apparently, while he’s sinking in the polls, he doesn’t see the importance in at least presenting something to attempt to keep his ass afloat. Rick Perry is a big saggy bag of “epic fail”.

Some other things about Perry are that he deflected the question of his party allegiance by saying that he switched from Democrat to Republican at a younger age than Reagan. Sure dude, take shots at a dead pres. Perry also said he wasn’t in favor of Cain’s 999 Plan. Perry also makes a statement that he would skirt legislation if he needed to. Yep, sounds like a dictator to me. Also, he keeps reminding us that governments don’t create jobs but he keeps taking credit for a million fictitious jobs he “created” in Texas. Between all his “um”‘s and long pauses Rick Perry goes to a magic place. Unfortunately for us, we aren’t invited. I just wish he’d stop blanking out in the middle of debates and stay focused. Shit dude, we only need you up there for two hours. Perry is a cancer, plain and simple.

Now Mr. Mittens continued to work his way into the hearts of the heartless, as he didn’t falter or fall from his stance and may have even gained some points as he stayed above the bickering and successfully sold himself as more important and larger than the other candidates at the table. Now I’m not sucking his Mormon dick, I am just calling it how I see it. I’d prefer it if he failed. Dude’s just got his shit together and every time he shows up to one of these things, Aquanet stock surges.

Out of the gate, Mitt reminds us that we need a president that is a leader. No shit dude, what else would we need, a president that’s a pecan log? Mitt goes on to pimp his 59 point plan which is something he must have stolen from a vehicle inspection chart. In fact, Herman Cain called out Romney and asked him if he could name all 59 points. Mitt said that some things just aren’t that simple. Yep, that’s a big government answer.

When Mittens is asked if he would give us another Wall Street bailout he basically said that bailouts are bad but won’t say if he will or won’t. Mitt never answers anything. Oddly, Mitt is incredibly sweaty or the lights make him look sweaty and glazed over. Good thing he’s not gross like Nixon or he’d be fucked in this election.

Romney goes on to channel Milton Friedman but fails miserably. I laughed out loud, kind of like every time I watch the 1990 series of Friedman’s “Free to Choose” and see the introduction from Arnold Schwarzenegger. Why do neocons embrace free market principles yet never seem to truly understand them?

Mitt bitches about China and says they are playing us like a fiddle while wearing an American flag pin on his lapel that was probably made in China. He promises not to cut defense and not to raise taxes. Mitt claims he started Staples and Sports Authority in the same way that Al Gore claims he invented the Internet. In the end, Mitt gives us nothing but that’s how he stays on top. Well, that and his hair.

By the way, before the debate, Mitt gained the endorsement of NJ Gov. Chris Christie. Welcome to my shitlist Christie.

Next up is that other Mormon, Jon Huntsman. Truthfully, I don’t know how or why this guy is still in the race. It boggles my fucking mind but as long as he is still breathing I have to keep watching him like a hawk. This debate he reminds us of how awesome he was in Utah, a state no one can fact check because no one knows anything about it. He tells us we need to regain our industrial base but doesn’t tell us how. Okay, I’m going to tell you all that we need to have a prosperous country but I’m not going to tell you how. Huntsman also tells us that his flat tax plan brought Utah to the moon. He then disses Cain’s 999 Plan and asks if it is a pizza deal. ROFLMAO! I find it funny because I’ve said the same thing countless times. Damn it, I should be mad because Huntsman bit my joke.

Huntsman tells us that he plans on phasing out corporate welfare and subsidies. He also claims that he will bring forth more aggressive trade laws. Huntsman also disses Romney by pointing out that his state Utah was number one in job creation while Massachusetts was number forty-seven under Romney. Oh snap! Aaaaand that’s about it for Huntsman who had all of about three minutes of screen time.

The other big loser of the GOP field Rick Santorum or Sanscrotum or whatever his name is was present at the debate too. Santorum, fresh off of the racquetball courts jumped into the debate by telling us he wants to drill Pennsylvania! Damn you horn dog go get’m! I wonder if he means the dudes too? There is that rumor you know.

Anyway, Santorum didn’t bring much but he also punked out Cain on his 999 Plan and he even got some audience participation by getting folks to raise their hands whether or not they disagreed with certain aspects of Cain’s plan. When people actually started participating, Santorum got so excited he had a seizure on national television. In fact, he ruined his jacket sleeve by continually wiping the foam from his rabid mouth. Santourm then says something later on about how a president once drove an exploding truck. I don’t know what he meant but it sounds like a fucking great movie idea! I nominate Nick Nolte to play the lead. The only other thing of note to come out of Racquetball Rick’s foamy mouth is that we can’t have limited government without families or something lame like that. Whenever Sanscrotum talks, I wince.

Woohoo! Now we’ve got supermom Michele Bachmann who is wearing pearls the size of ox testicles! Right from the beginning, Bachmann’s got that look in her eye: that same look my Aunt Eustice gets when she loses her teeth in the couch. She immediately informs us that Dodd-Franks are 2 for $5 at the Piggly Wiggly. She also mumbles through stories about Obama mumbling. She is also wearing a flag pin on her and luckily she pinned on the right flag. I think I’m being hard on her but I just can’t take her run seriously anymore. It’s not because she is a woman, it’s because side-by-side she makes Rick Santorum look like he’s smarter than a 5th grader.

Bachmann also jumps down Cain’s throat about his 999 Plan. It’s as if all these candidates are threatened by the black dude who has been whipping their asses since he conquered Florida last month. Bachmann calls the plan a tax plan and not a jobs plan as well as a pipeline for Congress to implement the treacherous VAT tax. She also gets all religiotarded and says that if you flip 999 it is the 666 Plan. Oh Jesus.. literally.

In her head, Bachmann is creating the 333 Plan because she finds “3″‘s to be cute and precious. Before finally leaving us, she has to remind us that she has mothered thirteen dozen kids. I could make a lewd comment about that but c’mon, it wouldn’t be gentlemanly to diss the genitals of any non-male candidates. She closes out the debate by saying, “The more we can do to love people the better off American society is.” That is an actual quote. I think she read it on a poster she saw while buying crystals at the Moon Goddess Emporium. She then looks wildly around and sniffs because apparently a Cinnabon distracted her.

The heaviest hitters of this debate are all that’s left now: Paul, Cain and Gingrich. Starting with Gingrich, I want to say that each debate that goes by, he gains more respect from me. Not because I agree with his stance on things but because he’s got Godzilla sized testicles and he refuses to be pushed around or surprised by the moderators or the other candidates. Newt will take your “gotcha” questions, cut them into small little sharp pieces, stick them to his taped up fists and then punch them up your ass! Newt is the fucking honey badger of the debate! Newt don’t care! Newt don’t give a shit! Newt just ate a fucking cobra AFTER getting bit in the face! His staff quit like months ago! Newt don’t give a shit! Newt doesn’t care! For the record, I once saw Newt eat bees.

To kick off his onslaught, Newt first breaks down the differences between the Tea Party and the misguided Occupy Wall Street movement. He then calls for the firing of Ben Bernanke and Timothy Geithner. He also calls for transparency of the Federal Reserve. I almost pull out my checkbook. Newt then has some colorful rhetoric about head shots and severed limbs. Newt just owns every moment he is given. I half expected him to stand up on Charlie Rose’s kitchen table, drop his pants and shit little Chuck Norrises!

Now I want to talk about Cain and Paul simultaneously because as the debates move on and on, we are coming to understand that when it comes to economics, these guys are polar opposites, especially in regards to the Federal Reserve. Ron Paul, as you all should know, is the one guy who has been taking a baseball bat to the Fed’s nuts for years now. Herman Cain on the other hand is a Fed insider and a former director from the Kansas City branch. Cain’s true colors didn’t really show until this night. I was always highly skeptical of him but his judgment about how to handle the Fed either shows complete ignorance, which I find to be impossible considering his former position, or it shows that he doesn’t want the Federal Reserve to be fully exposed to the public. I’m pretty sure it is the latter.

One of the most shocking moments of the night is when a moderator asked Herman Cain that if he could appoint any former Federal Reserve chairman to head up the Fed now, who would he choose. Cain quickly responded with Alan Greenspan! Is Cain not a true student of economics? Does he not know about inflation? Does he not get how this works? Or is it an attempt to kiss some ass because Greenspan was his former employer and Cain might need a reference if he doesn’t get the White House gig.

Ron Paul quickly jumped in and explained that Greenspan was a “disaster”, as we all should now. I mean, Greenspan was the precursor to Ben Bernanke. Ron Paul went on to state that the best chairman of the Fed was Paul Volcker, not that he was even good but Volcker at least understood the mechanics of inflation.

Ron Paul points out that Herman Cain was against an audit of the Federal Reserve because he said that we would not find anything and that it was a waste of time. Being an insider he should know, right? Well, Paul also points out that when we were able to execute a partial audit a few months back that we discovered a mountain of questionable acts and tyranny. Paul also pointed out that Cain called Ron Paul supporters and those who want to audit the Fed “ignorant” and “stupid”. Cain lied and said he didn’t say that. Well, he did say it. For the record, Cain recently called Ron Paul a “grumpy old man” when he was on ‘The Tonight Show with Jay Leno’. Cain hates Ron Paul and his supporters because if they dig up enough dirt on the Fed, some might stick to Cain himself.

When pressed on the Federal Reserve further, Cain says that he has been “misrepresented” on the issue of the Fed (apparently by himself) but that it was secondary because his focus is on his 999 Plan. Dude, I got 999 Plans but Cain’s ain’t one!

It seems like the mainstream media has now taken to Cain, he’s like their sleeper candidate now that Perry failed and Christie didn’t jump in. Not only did he get the first question of the debate but his 999 Plan monopolized the entire two hours. Luckily there was enough criticism from most of the other candidates and the moderators to start to really open the door on it. I was pretty fucking tired of hearing “nine nine nine” every three seconds of the debate. The main and most obvious problem I see with the plan is what prevents Congress from turning it into the 23-23-23 Plan? C’mon, like they aren’t going to touch it and fuck it up. I also don’t believe the bullshit that it is a stepping stone to the FairTax, as stepping stones have never worked in Washington. All Cain can say against the naysayers is that their “assumptions are incorrect”. Cain also admitted that he doesn’t buy beer, which means he just lost the support of my entire social circle.

Herman Cain really disappointed me beyond belief. My fears of him being a typical neocon in Tea Party clothing have not faded. In fact, I’m now feeling the need to really dig deep on Cain and to look into his past. Maybe I’ll start with archives of his radio show, which I never listened to. I have a feeling he jumped on the Tea Party bandwagon and was probably more of a big government guy before the grassroots revolution took shape. I mean, he supported TARP, he supported Romney and he is trying to protect the Federal Reserve.

With Gary Johnson getting absolutely no respect, there is really only one choice and his name is Ron Paul. To back anyone else is ridiculous at this point. One thing I can say to all you Ron Paul naysayers out there is that at least I don’t have to make excuses for my guy. I don’t have to defend him. I also don’t have to continually justify his stance because it has never changed. These are all things you have to do with any other candidate that was in this debate. Stop wasting your breath and stop wasting your time.

This debate was one of the better ones, all things considered. The game definitely changed for me and a lot of true colors came out. Bachmann, Santorum and Huntsman proved that they are in over their heads, Perry proved once again that he can’t debate, Romney did Romney, Ron Paul brought the realness, Cain showed us that he was NOT his brother’s keeper an Newt ate a fucking cobra! I wish all debates were this awesome. Newtie Badger don’t care!

Grading Scale:
Grade A: Ron Paul
Grade B: Newt Gingrich
Grade C+: Herman Cain
Grade C-: Mitt Romeny
Grade D: Rick Perry
Grade D: Jon Huntsman
Grade D: Rick Santorum
Grade D: Michele Bachmann
Grade I: Gary Johnson

Video – Cain vs Paul on the Federal Reserve: