This is an actual whiskey flavored lube from the gluttons over at Epic Meal Time. Apparently they’re convinced whiskey is a desirable smell to have smeared all over your privates. SPOILER: It’s not. Unless you’re in a relationship with another manly dude (I’m thinking a gay biker/bear type here), chances are your lover doesn’t want your junk smelling like f***ing whiskey. Piña colada, absolutely, but only because piña colada is the best smell in the world, especially for car air fresheners.

Source: Geekologie.

Authorities in Mexico’s Gulf coast state of Campeche said Wednesday they are investigating how a porn video was made by sixth-graders inside their school.

State Education Department spokesman Omar Kantun said the video was apparently made in an empty classroom during recess in late April.

“It is real, the case is real, the video exists,” Kantun said. “The Education Department is very concerned.”

He said an investigation is being conducted by his department and the teachers union to determine whether any adults were involved.

Kantun said the teacher who uses the classroom did not appear to have been present when the video was made. He said no disciplinary action has been taken against any students or teachers as of yet. He said the students involved are being given psychological counseling.

The incident occurred in late April at a grade school in the town of Calkini, which is in a relatively conservative and heavily Indian area. Three boys are seen on the video engaging in oral and anal sex recorded on a cellphone by a fourth person, apparently another student.

The mother of one of the boys saw the video on the Internet and notified authorities, Kantun said. He said the video had since been taken down.

Authorities didn’t announce the students’ ages, but sixth-graders in Mexico are generally 12 or younger.

Source: AP.

Earlier this week, photographs from Hulk Hogan‘s sex tape were released on the Internet. It took a few days to hear anything from the Hogan camp, but it turns out he really does not like being made a fool of, as TMZ reported that Hogan’s attorney is threatening legal action.

Question on Everybody’s Mind: Is Hogan going to get what he wants?

Our Take: It is not impossible for Hogan’s legal team to threaten action to get the photos taken down, but more often than not, when something is on the Internet it is incredibly hard to get it off.

Hype Meter: 4 out of 5 Reasons To Hulk Up

As mentioned earlier this week, it is amazing to think that this whole thing happened to Hogan given how in control of every possible situation he has to be. I don’t know what else to say about it, but I think things are far from over.

Deeper Dive

Hogan Says To Get His Pictures Off The ‘Net (TMZ)

Source: Bleacher Report.

The Colombian prostitutes entangled in the Secret Service sex scandal could have been Russian spies, Sen. Chuck Grassley suggested Tuesday.

“We’re looking at something that is very, very serious when national security might not be protected properly,” Grassley told Radio Iowa. “Who knows who might be using prostitutes? The Russians are famous for that to get information out of us.”

(PHOTOS: Secret Service prostitution scandal unfolds in Colombia)

In a letter last night, the Iowa Republican called on the White House to answer questions about an internal review that cleared the advance team of any involvement in the scandal. Secret Service agents and military personnel are accused of bringing prostitutes back to their hotel before President Barack Obama’s trip to Cartagena, Colombia, earlier this month.

“You find a lot of problems come from a culture within the agency,” Grassley said on Radio Iowa. “Now, I don’t think the Secret Service would have that sort of a culture, but this may be the tip of an iceberg.”

This is less about prostitution than the president’s safety, he added.

“The issue here isn’t just people messing around with prostitutes, the issue is the security of the president of the United States and the issue is any national security implications that it might have because of the secrecy and the documents and things of that nature,” Grassley said.

Source: Politico.

24-year-old single mom is known as Dania, she says agent offered $30 for $800 service.

One of the agents tried to brush off his girl, the single mother of a 9-year-old son known as Dania, the next morning with only $28 in cab fare. She caused a ruckus, demanding her full payment, so  cops got involved and word reached the US Embassy.

There were reports in Washington that more may be gone by the weekend.

Source: NY Daily News. Video at link.

A Secret Service agent preparing for President Obama’s arrival at an international summit meeting and a single mother from Colombia who makes a living as a high-priced escort faced off in a room at the Hotel Caribe a week ago over how much he owed her for the previous night’s intercourse. “I tell him, ‘Baby, my cash money,’ ” the woman said in her first public comments on a spat that would soon spiral into a full-blown scandal.

The dispute — he offered $30 for services she thought they had agreed were worth 25 times that — triggered a tense early morning struggle in the hallway of the posh hotel involving the woman, another prostitute, Colombian police officers arguing on the women’s behalf and American federal agents who tried but failed to keep the matter — which has shaken the reputation of the Secret Service — from escalating.

Sitting on a couch in her living room wearing a short jean skirt, high-heeled espadrilles and a tight spandex top with a plunging neckline, the woman described how she and a girlfriend were approached by a group of American men at a discotheque. In an account that tracked with the official version of events coming out of Washington, but could not be independently confirmed, she said the men bought a bottle of Absolut vodka for the table and when that was finished bought a second one.

“They never told me they were with Obama,” she said. “They were very discreet.”

A taxi driver who picked up the woman at the Hotel Caribe the morning of the encounter said he heard her and another woman recount the dispute over payment. When approached by The Times, the woman was reluctant to speak about what occurred. As she nervously told her story, a friend gave details that seemed to corroborate her account.

CONTINUED at the NY Times.

My Two Cents: She’s like a plastic sex doll with just as much talent and brains. Good for her for adding a few extra seconds to her fifteen minutes. I ain’t gonna lie though, I’d hit it fore sure. End Two Cents.

Inflatable doll look-alike and former reality star Heidi Montag somehow weaseled her way back into the news with the release of a new album, “Dreams Come True.”

Looking as desperate as ever on the cover, “Dreams Come True” is Montag’s sophomore effort and a follow-up to 2010′s “Superficial,” which sold fewer than 1,000 copies in the first week.

The EP contains just four songs, all of which have been released before.

In much the same way as her body is surgically enhanced, “Your Love Found Me,” “Party Is Wherever I Am,” “No More” and “Overdosin” are all computer enhanced and autotuned versions of Montag’s voice. It has been so heavily altered that it is barely recognizable as a human voice — just as Montag’s 10 plastic surgeries left her barely recognizable as a human.

The good news for Montag: “Dreams Come True” currently has a three and a half star rating on iTunes out of 51 user reviews, so we know that 51 people have either purchased or at least listened to Montag’s album since it was released on April 11.

Source: The Daily Caller.

My Two Cents: Secret Service agents and hookers, gotta love it. I hope they didn’t skim out on our tax dollars by forgetting to bring McChickens and angeldust to the party. End Two Cents.

A prostitution scandal involving the Secret Service has grown in scope, with the disclosure that U.S. agents and military personnel had been with at least 20 women in hotel rooms before President Barack Obama arrived in Colombia for a summit with Latin American leaders.

Secret Service Director Mark Sullivan, facing questions on Capitol Hill about whether the escapades could have jeopardized the president’s security, said he had referred the matter to an independent government investigator.

Sullivan said the 11 Secret Service agents and 10 military personnel under investigation were telling different stories about who the women were. Sullivan has dispatched more investigators to Colombia to interview the women, said Rep. Peter King, R-N.Y., chairman of the House Homeland Security Committee.

CONTINUED at AP.

Fantasy Maid Service of Lubbock, Texas (a nude/topless maid service) is drawing criticism because people are running out of things to complain about. Next up: Raisin Bran — NO F***ING WAY THAT WAS TWO SCOOPS, MAN! For $100/hour ($150/hour for two ladies), homely looking maids will clean your house au naturale and probably do a terrible job. But who am I to judge? I’m just a man that used to run his own Speedo carwash who would spend 10-minutes rubbing his junk on your driver-side window before sending you off still covered in soap suds.

Owner Melissa Borrett, 26, said Tuesday night that she started the service in mid-February because she was struggling to make ends meet as a waitress.

Most of her clients are men, but she said anyone can hire her service. She pointed out that “nothing comes off” for clients who are under 18.

Lubbock police Sgt. Jonathan Stewart told the Associated Press that Borrett doesn’t have a permit to operate a sexually oriented business. Officers are watching for any violation, which would bring a $2,000 fine.

“My business doesn’t necessarily qualify as a sexually oriented business just because the clothes are coming off,” she said. “The maids are not performers, they’re maids.”

To ensure the maids’ safety, Borrett told KCBD TV that her workers have security [read: a boyfriend raiding your fridge] present during each cleaning appointment.

Nothing comes off for clients under 18? How do you even HAVE clients under 18? $100 to a teenager is like a million dollars. What, is everybody in Texas an oil tycoon? Because *eying maid pictures* they’re definitely not all beauty pageant winners. “GW!” Oh I’m sorry, but I’m one of the last remaining knights of the KEEPIN’ IT REAL table. There’s seriously only like three of us left.

Official Site (with a discount for law enforcement!)
via
Nude Maid Service Draws Police Scrutiny in Texas City [abcnews]

Source: Geekologie.

Jest.com came to one of the sets I was shooting on and enlisted me, Allie Haze, Chastity Lynn, and Jerry to do a funny political commentary video. The result was our tirade against Rick Santorum and his porn hating ways.