My Two Cents: Is this a pick the biggest neocon douchenugget competition? End Two Cents.

*Written by Rob Rimes.

Last night was full of a lot of fanfare, quick results and mainstream media bullshit. I sat in front of my television sipping on a bottle of Cheerwine and munching on a McChicken just as Megyn Kelly and Bret Baier popped up on the screen at the 8 o’clock hour to announce that they already had the winner with only 11 percent of the precincts voting. This was quite refreshing considering the Iowa fiasco went on into the wee hours of the morning just a week prior; plus the results of Iowa left a lot to be desired.

I’m pretty pleased with the finish in New Hampshire however. Granted Mitt Romney won but that was to be expected. One does have to give Mr. Romney some props though, as he is the first person since 1976 to win both Iowa and New Hampshire. While Mr. Romney has made history in his own way, another man has also made history and that man is Ron Paul. The fact that Dr. Paul finished in second place, quite convincingly mind you, just proves that the message of liberty is growing and people are coming out in droves in support of it regardless of how hard the mainstream media devils and the establish Republican ass clowns try to discredit and write the man off. The other big performer was Jon Huntsman, who did really well, as I thought he would, but probably won’t go much further passed New Hampshire. That is kind of unfortunate, as Huntsman like Ron Paul is quite different from the other candidates in this race.

The field was rounded out by Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum battling it out for an insignificant fourth place while the King of Texas Rick Perry only got 0.7 percent! That’s right, out of the entire state of New Hampshire, Governor Perry only racked up 1,762 votes against Romney’s 97,339 and Paul’s 56,601! I know Perry is holding on because he expects to do well in South Carolina but goddamn his performance was atrocious! Even if Perry can bounce back somewhat in the Palmetto State, he is a dead man walking right now as far as the race to the White House goes. Even if he can convince some of my fellow Floridians to throw him some votes in a few weeks, it still won’t matter. Rick Perry is a dingy without an oar in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

Even better than Rick Perry’s fall from golden boy grace is the fact that Rick Santorum’s short stint of relevance didn’t make it past Iowa. Now I am not sure if he edged out Newt for fourth place or not, I could actually give a shit. However, unlike Newt, Ricky Boy has shown that even though he can inspire religio-fascist nutjobs and raise a shit ton of money after a good showing in a state with more corn than people, he is out of gas. Even that corn ethanol crap can’t help him now. Sure, he may do decent in South Carolina but he has no longevity and after New Hampshire it is pretty certain that our favorite dork dick will soon be out of the hunt – officially. It was fun while it lasted but Icarus has finally gotten too close to the sun and there is no one left to throw him a parachute or set up a safety net.

Newt Gingrich isn’t in the same boat as Rick Santorum however. He’s struggling, that much is certain, but Newt still possesses those honey badger characteristics that could propel him to the front of the pack once again. Do I think that will happen? Probably not but one thing I have learned from this presidential race is that you can’t count Newt out until he’s out and I don’t see homeboy leaving just quite yet. Newt is a threat to everyone in this race despite a few bad performances at the last few debates. Keep in mind that not doing well at a debate isn’t usually Newt’s modus operandi and if he gets his shit straight, he could surge again. I’d prefer that he didn’t but Newt has fire unlike most of the candidates and is able to talk his way out of nearly anything.. most of the time. And whether you agree with the guy or not, watching him debate Barack Obama would be awesome. Hell, I’d pay big money to watch them duke it out on pay-per-view.

As I’ve said, Huntsman did well but probably won’t make it much further than New Hampshire. I’d like to see this guy continue to do well as he offers a significant contrast to what the GOP is offering this election cycle and apart from Dr. Paul, he is the only guy worth a shit that is still waving the Republican banner. The only real hope for Huntsman is that he has to turn it up in the upcoming debates. He did fantastic in both of the New Hampshire debates and as long as he can keep the momentum he’s started to build, he may make it all the way to the final three. In the beginning of this race, he sucked at debates. Over time he has become much better, earned my respect and found the footing he just didn’t have six months ago. The fact that he is different than Mitt, Newt and the two Ricks is also going to be a major factor that determines if he will have ongoing success. Jon Huntsman must capitalize on this hard-earned winning streak and just like the gigantic spider that shares his surname, he has to trap these other candidates in a web, immobilize them and devour them. Huntsman, like Paul, will change the rhetoric if he can outlast Rick One, Rick Two and Newt. The ball is in Huntsman’s court and all he has to do is take the shot. The only real hinderance he may face at this point is his financing. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have the resources that some of the other candidates do.

Mitt Romney didn’t really surprise anyone with his victory. New Hampshire has been in his back pocket for years and really, even though he won, he didn’t do it in a way that was impressive or decisive. Yes, he did win both New Hampshire and Iowa, which is a huge feat but he just barely edged out Santorum in Iowa and he didn’t really dominate in New Hampshire like he should have considering his ties to the state. Romney is certifiably the frontrunner at this stage but he is unable to garner the enthusiastic support of someone like Ron Paul. In the end, Paul’s support could grow and really hurt Romney. As other candidates start to drop like flies, where are their supporters going to go? I think it will be split as you have one school of thought that is desperately looking for the anti-Romney and another school of thought that will jump on his bandwagon because they are scared shitless of the truth and common sense that Ron Paul brings to the presidential race. Regardless of what happens, Ron Paul will most assuredly get the youth vote and with the number of independents and those dissatisfied with the Republican Party growing daily, Mitt Romney could be in for a fate he just can’t envision for himself.

The real story of the New Hampshire primary is that this is really now a two-man race and because of that, the rhetoric will in fact change. The moderators can continue to ask their dumb questions at debates but with Ron Paul not too far behind the mainstream media’s King of Conservatism, he will no longer get lost in the shuffle and be ignored. Dr. Paul will get his time to speak and when challenging Mitt Romney, will expose his statist progressive nature and potentially open the eyes of many more people. Mitt needs to count his blessings and really sit down and figure out how he needs to change his approach to this big shit show now that the discussion is about to shift. The best thing that could happen for all of us is that Mitt could just brush it off and go about doing business the same way he has all along. If he does, he might be sitting at home in November cursing the fact that his name isn’t on the big ballot that really counts.

This is an uphill battle for Ron Paul, don’t get me wrong. The media will be on his ass harder than they have ever been and really, it has already started. Eric Bolling and Andrea Tantaros were on Fox Business’ ‘Follow the Money’ questioning Ron Paul as they always do. Tantaros actually said, “Everyone’s for smaller government, everyone’s for personal freedom and then you peel back the layer and start to see what that really means.” Oh my God, really? Idiot Bolling then cuts in and asks, “Why does he have to go ‘all in’ libertarian? Why does he have to have all of it? Can’t he say ‘smaller government, free markets, lower taxes but oh on that foreign policy I think that we really need Israel as an ally in the Middle East so I’ll keep funding that.’” The reason he doesn’t say that you fucktard is because he is not a hypocrite like all you Fox News buffoons and your GOP establishment heroes. Ron Paul stands for something and to those who stand for nothing, he is just too puzzling. They can’t make sense out of it because they are deep in this bullshit game and Ron Paul is soaring above it.

Another Fox News contributor Stephen Hayes had to immediately point out that Ron Paul did so well because voter turnout in New Hampshire was “way down” compared to 2008. Actually it was down but not significantly. In 2008 there were 239,000 who voted and this year there were 228,000. That’s only 4.6 percent! When looking at how well Dr. Paul did in New Hampshire this year compared to 2008, this argument obviously holds no weight. In 2008, Ron Paul came in fifth place with 18,308 votes at 7.8 percent versus this year’s finish of second place with 56,601 votes at 22.8 percent. I don’t think that the 4.6 percent drop off of in voters this year from 2008 can explain Ron Paul’s 21 percent increase! These are the dirty tricks that the mainstream bastards like to play when they are trying to mold the minds of their viewers in an effort to manufacture the results that they desire.

Now they aren’t just bashing, attacking and spreading misinformation to discredit Paul’s success. They are also doing everything they can to pimp out Mitt Romney, as he is their only chance at capturing the White House throne. Tim Pawlenty, a punk bitch who was in this race but dropped out like the weak vanilla box of rotten assholes that he is, went on ‘Hannity’ last night and was sucking Mitt Romney’s dick so hard that it must’ve been as purple as Grimace this morning! T.Paw came on the television and was going on and on about how Mitt won Iowa and New Hampshire and how it has never been done before. Um.. excuse me dicknose? It has been done before, just not in a long time. Hell, Jimmy Carter and Gerald Ford both did it in 1976. Granted Ford was an incumbent but it is not completely unheard of. Tim Pawlenty is just an establishment cockpuppet and he’s playing the game just as badly as the rest of them.

Another show of Mitt Romney support came directly from Sean Hannity, who continually says on every show that he hasn’t picked his candidate yet. Really Sean? When are you going to endorse your guy? After the primaries are over? I know I’ve said it elsewhere but if you are this deep into the presidential primaries and you don’t know who you are voting for, you’re a fucking idiot and a coward. Truth is, Hannity knows who his guy is and it isn’t hard for the rest of us to figure out. His pick is most assuredly Mitt Romney. For evidence supporting this, just go back and watch last night’s episode of ‘Hannity’ right after the primary. When Rick Perry came on, Hannity spent the entire interview lambasting him for being critical of Mitt Romney. Sean vehemently defended his butt buddy Mitt and did everything he could to discredit and interrupt Perry. Shit, I thought Hannity was that scumfuck O’Reilly for a second.

The media is out of control but being dictators to public opinion is their job and they’re damn good at it. No matter what they do and what they say can’t paint this stop on the campaign trail as anything other than a pivotal victory for those who support the Constitution. Ron Paul and everyone who supports him should be relishing in this win.. yes win! While everyone but the top three in this primary are being crushed by their heavy lies and giant skeletons, this race just got real and the big guns are coming out. As much as it is still an uphill battle for Dr. Paul, it is also an uphill battle for Romney. As of right now, these are the only two who even matter in this race anymore. The others aren’t dead but chances are very much in favor of them all getting gunned down in the oncoming Romney-Paul crossfire.

*Written by Rob Rimes.

Do you remember when Michele Bachmann was declared the frontrunner in the 2012 GOP primary race for the presidential nomination? It seems like it was eons ago even though it really wasn’t that far back. I guess the fact that we’ve had somewhere around 13,000 debates since then makes it almost a distant memory. It’s not distant to Mrs. Bachmann however, as she still believes that she is just dealing with some minor setback. The truth is, Bachmann’s once status as frontrunner was pretty much built on bullshit and since time has passed, she has become her own worst enemy, shown her true colors and gone on to defeat herself. Now I am not saying that this dingbat harpy even had a chance at winning this damn thing but just when she does have the opportunity to maybe move up a little bit, her complete lack of substance and general weirdness destroys her chances. People see through this woman’s hypocrisy and even the idiots that once supported her are now jumping ship onto Rick Santorum, Mitt Romney or Ron Paul.

Back about six or seven months ago, Michele Bachmann took part in the Ames, Iowa debate and she then went on to win their major straw poll. By winning that straw poll, Michele Bachmann was declared the immediate frontrunner over all the other candidates. It is funny because everyone gave her props for being in first and they gave Tim Pawlenty props for being in third. In typical mainstream fashion, they didn’t even mention that Ron Paul got second place. In fact, Michele Bachmann beat Ron Paul with 4,823 votes (28.55%) to 4,671 votes (27.65%)! Bachmann beat Paul with less than 1 percent! Yes, less than 1 percent! So how exactly was she declared the definitive frontrunner with such a narrow margin? Hell, Mr. Third Place Tim Pawlenty actually dropped out of the race immediately after the results were announced. Pawlenty is a vanilla bitch and will never have the balls to hack it in a real election.

So while the conservative media was cheering the Tea Party princess’ hard fought solid “victory”. They failed to mention the dirty scheme that was going on behind the scenes. Oh Jesus Dan Aykroyd Christ, sometimes reality is stranger than fiction and this is one of those times. Most people don’t know about how Bachmann pulled off this “win”, so let me break it down like mutant amino acids fueled by angeldust.

Michele Bachmann spent upwards of a million dollars to ensure her victory. How so, well she bought over 6,000 concert tickets for Grammy Award-winning country music superstar Randy Travis. She also paid for his concert and his fee to appear in Ames, Iowa that weekend. She also paid to bus in Randy Travis fans with the catch that they had to vote for Bachmann before they could enjoy the free entertainment. As you can see, Bachmann is a dirty scumbag.

However, even though she gave out 6,000 tickets, she still only got 4,823 votes, which means that a pretty large portion of the Randy Travis fans didn’t vote for her anyway. Bachmann got had but she deserved it. The point is, without this bullshit, would she have won? The answer is a solid “fuck no!” Hell, the fact that she beat Ron Paul by less than a percentage point is even more irritating. Without this crappy concert, Ron Paul would have won the Ames Straw Poll. Would the mainstream media have immediately crowned Dr. Paul as the frontrunner? Probably not. In fact, they probably would have given a shitload of props to Pawlenty for then getting second and T. Paw may have even stayed in the race a little bit longer. Hell, at second place, they may have made T. Paw the frontrunner and ignored Dr. Paul’s first place win as some sort of fluke due to his overly passionate supporters. Since when was having overly passionate supporters a bad thing? I guess it’s a bad thing when the mainstream press is scared shitless of the truth, as is the case with Dr. Paul.

So anyway, this brings us up to now, just a few days away from the Iowa Caucuses. Every single poll that I have looked at has Michele Bachmann in last place out of all the candidates. It is worth mentioning that Jon Huntsman isn’t participating, so he isn’t on the list. It’s crazy though because batshit Bachmann was the frontrunner after the last event in Iowa and now she is dead last and by a significant margin. How could this have happened?

Well, the fact that her Ames Straw Poll win was bullshit to begin with is a major reason. The fact that she has spent months on the campaign trail just spewing the same lame ass fucking catchphrases over and over again is probably another reason. Whenever asked questions at debates, if she doesn’t drop a tired catchphrase, she just talks about how bad Barack Obama is, not how she plans on beating him and fixing our problems. If she isn’t Obama-bashing she is talking about her 2,563 foster kids. If she isn’t doing either of those things, she is attacking other candidates. One thing she never does though, is offer solid solutions let alone any substance. When she does talk about policy, this self-described “constitutional conservative” spends her time explaining and defending why she needs to ignore the Constitution on certain issues, like bombing muslims for instance. She’s just a big ball of hypocritical crap trying to fill the cougar sex appeal void left over from Sarah Palin sitting this one out.

Michele Bachmann has nothing to say that is relevant to anything. She actually wants to do the exact opposite of what she claims she is. She is just your run-of-the-mill Orwellian doublethinker that can’t even look in the mirror and see the mountain of bullshit that is looking back at her. Bachmann has gone from Iowan star to Iowan afterthought simply because she has absolutely nothing to offer. Then again, 7 percent of the people in that state still support her. Who knows, maybe they were promised handjobs from Taylor Swift.

*Written by Rob Rimes.

Now I have often times given Newt Gingrich props in my critiques of the numerous debates that have been hitting television screens nearly once a week, and in some cases more, since earlier this year. I’ve often referred to him as the “Honey Badger” due to the fact that he was at the bottom of the barrel when he entered the race but through his ferocity, fire and heart has clawed his way through the competition and proved that he is probably the best debater in the game today. Newt is a fucking wordsmith and perfectly capable of handing Obama his ass if they were ever to go head-to-head. However, as exciting as he is to watch and as bad ass as he can seem when smacking some toad moderator for belching a “gotcha” question at him, Newt does have a track record that is horrendous and many of his positions, when really looked at, paint the man as a wannabe dictator vying for the American throne so he can impose his tyrannical will on us under the false guise of liberty, freedom and security. This guy has grown on me, as far as his debate skills go, but I still would never vote for him or brush aside his incredibly awful baggage. Newt who likes to throw the term “enemy combatant” around must fail to realize that he is an enemy combatant of the Constitution.

Now I know one of the biggest criticisms of Mr. Gingrich is his infidelity and the fact that he served his wife with divorce papers while she was in the hospital. As I’ve stated elsewhere, I don’t really care about such things when it comes to the job of being a political leader. It doesn’t excuse Newt’s actions and he is still a bag of shit for it but as long as he can do the job, I’m not too concerned with his slippery prick. Besides, honey badgers are animals and therefore cannot help behaving like animals. Newt is, in many ways, the worst kind of animal. Besides, focusing on his dick’s misadventures is what the mainstream media is doing because they are pulling at the morality strings of the undersexed over-religious GOP voter base and thus distracting from the real issue: Newt’s bi-polar record.

This establishment bastard has been in the game for so long, I don’t feel like I need to really dig all that deep in finding questionable acts to stick to this man. Unlike my critiques on Herman Cain and Rick Perry, this piece doesn’t need to pull back the layers and expose the leech covered sores. Newt wears these disgusting lesions proudly and so many people don’t even seem to care! Some of these people that are defending and supporting this monster are the very same Tea Party people who claim they are against Newt’s specific type of evil. I guess this is what happens when you allow your movement to be overcome and dictated to by primetime talking heads who spew nothing less than concentrated idiocy and establishment gibberish under the guise of freedom, liberty and “fiscal conservatism”. And when these overpaid overly-opinionated ass clowns are the top spokespeople for the cable news network that employs Newt Gingrich, you can expect a special sort of bullshit being rolled up and served to the easily influenced Tea Party majority.

Not to go off on a separate tangent but I truly miss the Tea Party that was created by Ron Paul’s 2008 campaign. Yes, Ron Paul created the Tea Party. The same Tea Party that pretty much loathes his ideas in favor of the same old, tired, never-worked establishment Republican policies that got us into this fucking mess to begin with. Yes, a mess these people bitch about yet continue to perpetuate by supporting anyone else in the GOP primary that isn’t Ron Paul, Gary Johnson or Jon Huntsman. Johnson got so sick of this goddamned idiocy that he left the party and has now joined up with the Libertarian Party. If Paul doesn’t get the GOP nomination, Johnson will be the one getting my vote in November. I refuse to choose the lesser of two bastards any longer. Hell, I refuse to even entertain the idea that political parties even mean anything or stand for something anymore. All they stand for is toeing the line and maintaining power, by any means necessary. Well, when you have a large pile of red shit and a large pile of blue shit, it’s time to wipe your ass and flush them both.

Getting back to Newt, someone recently posted a comment on a poll I put up on my website TheSwash.com. The comment listed dozens of negatives that Newt Gingrich has on his record. Now I am not going to run through all of them but I will mention some. I truly hope that most of you reading these words that I am frantically typing like the over-caffeinated jackrabbit I am right now, already know the majority of this information. As I’ve said, this dickhead has been in the spotlight for far too long and his shitty record is widely known. For those who aren’t aware, prepare to swallow some bitter pills, especially if you are a supporter of this two-bit cockroach.

Going back to 1987, when Mr. Gingrich was just a congressman and not yet Speaker of the House, he co-sponsored the Fairness in Broadcasting Act of 1987 (H.R. 1934). This bill wasn’t just unconstitutional, it was anti-constitutional. The original Fairness Doctrine was introduced by the FCC in 1949 and its purpose was to force the holders of broadcast licenses (according to Wikipedia) “..to both present controversial issues of public importance and to do so in a manner that was, in the Commission’s view, honest, equitable and balanced.” In essence, radio and television stations were made to follow these guidelines regardless of whatever it was that they wanted to present. This was an attack on the First Amendment. In fact, even the FCC saw this eventually and they voted 4-0 to abolish it in 1987. Unfortunately, Newt Gingrich co-sponsored the bill that would bring this tyranny back to broadcasting and in the end Congress passed the bill. Luckily for us, Ronald Reagan grabbed his pen and vetoed the shit out of it. Then in 1991, the first Bush vetoed another attempt at bringing back the Fairness Doctrine from Newt and his anti-Constitution cronies.

Also in 1991, Newt Gingrich voted for an amendment that would have created a national police force. Newt has always been a pimp for the police state. Between this attempt at disregarding the Constitution, once again, and his undying love for tyrannical nonsense like the PATRIOT Act, Mr. Gingrich wants us all to be ruled over by an iron fist. It also doesn’t help that he continually preaches to us about all of the “threats” out there who want to kill us because we’re free. Newt’s fear-mongering insanity knows no bounds and it is all really just a smokescreen to coerce the easily duped public into thinking that we need to live behind a giant “protective” wall.

A few years later, in 1993, he voted for the North American Free Trade Agreement Implementation Act or NAFTA. This is a bill that also slaps the Constitution in the face as it wraps its clenched fist around the throat of American sovereignty. This bill essentially created a union between the United States, Canada and Mexico in a similar way to the European Union but not as widely known or publicized. First of all, the government can’t legislate free trade. That idea is Orwellian doublethink and doublespeak at its absolute finest! Free trade CANNOT be legislated, it has to be free of law to be free trade, that is common sense. No laws, restrictions or regulations over trade IS free trade. The whole NAFTA issue is something that deserves its own article as I do not have the time or the space to fully dissect it here without getting completely sidetracked and writing a piece that completely gets away from the point of this article. I will say this however, between the NAFTA madness, the police state insanity and the broadcasting bullshit, it isn’t hard to see what Mr. Gingrich’s true agenda is. For those unable to connect the dots thus far, Newt wants to control us all through fear so he and his crony colleagues can elevate themselves as our masters and rule over us lesser beings who need to be provided for and looked after. Newt Gingrich believes himself to be smarter than every last one of us and he believes that it is his destiny to manage us as he sees fit because we are too stupid and naive to be free.

In 1994, He supported the GATT Treaty which gave sovereignty to the United Nations. Aha! Newt is a globalist shitcock! Now his previously mentioned power grabs are starting to make even more sense! You see, GATT or the General Agreement on Tariffs and Trade attempted to create the International Trade Organization (ITO) but ultimately failed. Unfortunately for us, and UN countries all over the world, the ITO was the framework that in just a year’s time became the WTO or World Trade Organization: same damn thing, just better sounding name. At it’s core the WTO is unconstitutional, in fact it more or less vetoes the Constitution in that it is made up of multinational corporations out for their own interests at the expense of the citizens of all the nations forced to be involved in this charade. As with NAFTA, this whole bullshit mess needs its own piece written on it. The fact of the matter is, the four biggest legislative nightmares that Newt supported before even becoming Speaker of the House, are all attacks against the Constitution. Newt is NOT the Tea Party candidate, well unless the Tea Party is now just a marketing and propaganda tool of the establishment GOP. At this point, it is. Swallow that pill and accept it kiddos because that ship has already left the fucking harbor. You may have seen it floating by with Bill O’Reilly, Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck, Newt Gingrich, Herman Cain, Michele Bachmann, Rick Santorum, Tim Pawlenty and Sarah Palin all waving from the stern as it went off into the sunset. Rick Perry and Mitt Romney were in a little dingy frantically rowing after them.

What are some other tyrannical and questionable things that Newt has done? Well, in 1995 he said that drug smuggling should carry a death sentence. He later said that someone charged with having marijuana should be executed! In fact, he introduced H.R. 4170 which demanded a life-sentence or execution for someone bringing just two ounces of marijuana across the border! Is he fucking insane?! Between this and wanting to bomb everybody, Newt is so quick to want to murder people. Honey badgers must eat their own shit when they can’t find bees and cobras to dine on. In 1996, he tried to create his own CIA mission to kill off the Iranian leaders. You see, Gingrich has had it out for the Iranians since day one. Maybe he just isn’t a fear-monger, maybe he actually believes the bullshit he espouses. Then again, it was probably just for an oil grab. Also in 1996, he voted for and supported the largest increase ever on Federal education spending. Around this time he wrote the foreword to a book by Alvin and Heidi Toffler called “Creating a New Civilization: The Politics of the Third Wave”. That book’s premise was about how technological advancement would change civilization and because of that we needed to basically throw out the Constitution and the old ways and move forward into the future in new ways. It sounds compelling if you are an idiot. The new way proposed in this book is essentially the blueprints for a fascist world government. No thanks assholes.

Southern Avenger Jack Hunter actually talks about the issue of Newt and the Tofflers in this great video.

Always hating pro-constitutionalist Ron Paul, Newt actually used his power to help popular Democrat Greg Laughlin switch parties in an attempt to beat Republican Paul in the 1996 primaries for a congressional seat. The attempt failed but that doesn’t excuse Newt of trying to sabotage a fellow Republican by siding with a rival and abusing his power to help that rival against his own party. Newt is a fucking scumbag, only out for his own gain and if any of us oppose him, he will stop at nothing to try and destroy us. Truth be told, leading up to this incident, Newt Gingrich urged fellow Republicans to tone down their conservative views and to modernize going into the future. Newt has never really been a Republican or a conservative and, in his heart, apparently hates his party. Then again, so do many Republicans, which is why the party has turned into a shell of what it once was decades ago.

Some other things worth mentioning about Newt after he was embarrassingly forced out of office for unethical penile conquests that cost him a record breaking $300,000 are some of the bullshit things he has said. In 2006 he said that, “Free speech should be curtailed in order to fight terrorism”. He also added that he wanted the terrorists to be blocked from using the Internet and said that we needed to have a “..serious debate about the 1st Amendment.” Gingrich then went on to call for a Geneva Convention for terrorists so that it would be clear and concise on who the Constitution did not apply to. He supported Bush’s proposal for mandatory carbon caps and went on to make a climate change commercial with Nancy Pelosi, one of the most vilest women the world has ever seen. He also lobbied for ethanol subsidies and suggested that Flex-Fuel vehicles be mandated for Americans.

Gingrich has supported the TARP bailouts in the past. He was paid $300,000 by Freddie Mac to halt Congress from bringing necessary reform and thus, he benefitted from the tyranny that caused the housing bubble to burst. He calls for Singapore-style drug tests for Americans. He calls for us to attack Iran, North Korea and other nations. Newt wants us in perpetual war which sounds like he comes from the same mold as Big Brother in George Orwell’s “1984″. He opposes property rights, especially for the owner of the infamous mosque being built near Ground Zero in New York City. In fact, Mr. Gingrich has compared the mosque supporters to Nazis. Newt has even defended Romneycare in the past! He has said that a website owner, reporter or a blogger that promotes transparency at the expense of secrecy (in this case Julian Assange of Wikileaks) is an enemy combatant that needs to be hunted down and executed for publishing leaked government memos. There he goes trying to murder someone again! Maybe Newt hasn’t heard of the Pentagon Papers case that went before the Supreme Court in the early 1970′s which protects journalists from this sort of tyranny. Then again, Newt said very recently that, as president, he would ignore the Supreme Court if need be.

Just this year alone, Newt has said that we are “losing the War on Terror” and that the conflict will last as long as the Cold War. He has flip-flopped on the Libyan situation again and again, depending upon who he is talking to and who he feels is listening. He says that America is being attacked by Islamic atheists.. huh?! He has taken credit for helping develop the model for Homeland Security. Yeah, that’s something to be proud of dude. He has criticized the United Nations several times recently because it is the popular thing to do now. Unfortunately, his record shows that he has done nothing but support the UN and their world government agenda since before he was even Speaker of the House.

On medical issues, he claims to have no regrets in supporting Medicare drug coverage and he said that the GOP’s plan to cut back on Medicare, in an effort to control spending, was “too big a jump.” He supported individual health care mandates even more than Mitt Romney. He has even backed Obama’s individual mandate by saying, “All of us have a responsibility to help pay for health care.” In 1993, he endorsed individual mandates when the Clintons pushed for their brand of universal health care.

As far as his campaign goes, one of his major video ads said that he wants to “find solutions together, and insist on imposing those solutions on those who do not want to change.” What?! His staff quit his campaign en masse several months ago. Amazingly he has bounced up to the top of the pack, although he is now falling back down. Maybe it is because his poorly managed campaign is over $1 Million in debt! The most laughable thing about his campaign is that he hired a company to create a fake Twitter profile to appear as if he had a solid following. But out of all his promises and crazy schemes, nothing is more scarier than the fact that he plans to sign as many as 200 executive orders on his first day as president! That would be the biggest abuse of power in a single day.. ever.

Newt Gingrich is the last man that should be running for president. Personally, at this point, I could give two shits about the Republican Party. However, I do care about conservatives and libertarians. This guy is neither of those, he is at the very opposite end of the spectrum and to entertain the idea that he isn’t is foolhardy, careless and naive beyond any measurable calculation. Mr. Gingrich can talk his way out of any situation but so can the Devil. Whereas the Devil quotes scripture to dupe the masses, Gingrich talks of liberty and freedom. However, the reality is that Gingrich has no intention of promoting liberty and freedom, his only intention is to impose his will on all of us and to squash any of us who may speak out against him. Newt Gingrich wants us all to live in fear of all these “threats” but the biggest threat to our lives, our liberty, our freedom and our future is Mr. Gingrich himself. Don’t buy into the hype and keep this bastard at bay!

*Written by Rob Rimes.

This last week has been crazy, especially if you are a Ron Paul supporter and believe that he is the greatest choice we have to fill the chair in the Oval Office. Some people claim that he is unelectable, such as the uber-douche billionaire Donald Trump. Others claim that he is crazy. As far as I am concerned, none of these concerns are valid, well unless you consider the Founding Fathers crazy or you think a guy who has been reelected to Congress continually since 1976 (minus a 12 year break) is unelectable. Ron Paul has been bucking the trends of a growing socialist state since the Gerald Ford era! So yeah, let’s sweep the guy under the rug and ignore him; if that doesn’t work we’ll call him names.

The fact of the matter is that Ron Paul scares the everliving shit out of people on the left and on the right. He says things that resonate with people and unfortunately for the two big parties, what resonates with people seemingly isn’t what either party represents at their core, at least anymore. Ron Paul is the antithesis to the modern American political system. He represents a school of thought that contradicts all the bullshit rhetoric and talking points of conservative and liberal pundits. He understands economics, freedom and knows what we have to do, and most importantly sacrifice, to survive and eventually thrive once again. Where all these other conservative candidates on the stage competing to be the one to knock off Barack Obama in 2012 claim to be fiscally responsible constitutional conservatives, Ron Paul truly is the only one that fits that bill. Gary Johnson does too but he hasn’t been invited to the debates lately. Johnson is just another guy that they are trying to ignore and bury. The cold hard reality is that these other candidates are all for the Constitution when it suits their agenda. When it doesn’t they use their platform to justify why they need to violate our constitutional rights. It is a classic example of Orwellian doublespeak and doublethink at its finest. Fuck the establishment cocks.

CONTINUED at Original Post.

*Written by Rob Rimes.

The 2012 presidential election is coming fast. We’ve already had a half dozen or so primary debates for the GOP cats who are all fighting to get the nomination that will pit them against their inevitable rival Barack Hussein Obama. We have ten current candidates in the race right now. They are Ron Paul, Gary Johnson, Herman Cain, Rick Perry, Mitt Romney, Michele Bachmann, Newt Gingrich, Jon Huntsman, Rick Santorum and Thaddeus McCotter. Tim Pawlenty was also in but he dropped out in favor of being Mitt Romney’s ottoman.

However, even with all these candidates in the race, the Republican voter base just isn’t happy. In fact, they have spent more time debating over who else should enter the race instead of debating who between the current candidates should win the race. Every month seemingly comes with a new golden boy or girl as their frontrunner but after a short amount of time, the GOPers turn away and start looking for the next super-candidate to jump into the race and dominate. This whole approach is fucking ridiculous. As Jon Stewart said on ‘The Daily Show’ recently, it’s like ‘American Idol’ in reverse where you keep adding wild and wacky contestants instead of eliminating them week-to-week.

This week’s widely wished for presidential party crasher is New Jersey governor and union-smashing hero Chris Christie. Hell, last week it was Sarah Palin, before that it was Donald Trump and now they are even talking about Alan Simpson who, no offense, comes across as the love child of the Crypt Keeper and Emperor Palpatine. In a race seemingly being determined by hair care products and youthful panache, Simpson doesn’t stand a chance. Then again, neither does Christie. Trump at least has celebrity, even though he is still a douchenugget. Palin has that grizzly mama fashion sense and a legion of middle America followers that write and sing horrible church songs about her. Still, you probably aren’t going to find your Republican Kennedy among any of the choices, including well-aged Ken dolls Perry and Romney.

CONTINUED at the original post.

*Written by Rob Rimes.

The 2012 presidential election is coming fast. We’ve already had a half dozen or so primary debates for the GOP cats who are all fighting to get the nomination that will pit them against their inevitable rival Barack Hussein Obama. We have ten current candidates in the race right now. They are Ron Paul, Gary Johnson, Herman Cain, Rick Perry, Mitt Romney, Michele Bachmann, Newt Gingrich, Jon Huntsman, Rick Santorum and Thaddeus McCotter. Tim Pawlenty was also in but he dropped out in favor of being Mitt Romney’s ottoman.

However, even with all these candidates in the race, the Republican voter base just isn’t happy. In fact, they have spent more time debating over who else should enter the race instead of debating who between the current candidates should win the race. Every month seemingly comes with a new golden boy or girl as their frontrunner but after a short amount of time, the GOPers turn away and start looking for the next super-candidate to jump into the race and dominate. This whole approach is fucking ridiculous. As Jon Stewart said on ‘The Daily Show’ recently, it’s like ‘American Idol’ in reverse where you keep adding wild and wacky contestants instead of eliminating them week-to-week.

This week’s widely wished for presidential party crasher is New Jersey governor and union-smashing hero Chris Christie. Hell, last week it was Sarah Palin, before that it was Donald Trump and now they are even talking about Alan Simpson who, no offense, comes across as the love child of the Crypt Keeper and Emperor Palpatine. In a race seemingly being determined by hair care products and youthful panache, Simpson doesn’t stand a chance. Then again, neither does Christie. Trump at least has celebrity, even though he is still a douchenugget. Palin has that grizzly mama fashion sense and a legion of middle America followers that write and sing horrible church songs about her. Still, you probably aren’t going to find your Republican Kennedy among any of the choices, including well-aged Ken dolls Perry and Romney.

So with Rick Perry being somewhat of a bust after being shoved down our damn throats by Fox News and websites like the Daily Caller, conservative media outlets are now jumping on this Chris Christie bandwagon. Why? Does it just make for good television and headlines or are Republicans THAT unsatisfied with the near dozen candidates in the race? Could it just be because Republicans are too damn fickle? Then again, being that the GOP is made up of a large number of god-fearing folk could they really just be looking for their messiah to slay the progressive beast? Didn’t any of you people read ‘Dune’ and ‘Dune Messiah’? Frank Herbert spelled it out for you, men are men and thus cannot be gods (disregard the latter books about Leto II for this example to hold any weight.. k, thanks).

Republicans remind me of some comical tribe from a movie that thinks every outsider that comes into their village is some sort of deity and when that deity doesn’t pan out to be what they expected, he’s thrown on a fire and they go on searching for the next god to take his place. Right now, Chris Christie is sitting on a tiki throne as Rick Perry is being barbecued while still digesting his hearty meal of Mitt Romney short ribs. Somewhere in that mix, someone is picking Michele Bachmann from their teeth.

The point of all this is that this whole approach is fucking careless, dumb and lame. Are you people really looking for the next Ronald Reagan? Because the Reagan you think you know didn’t really exist (read this). Are you looking for the next Barry Goldwater? It’s not like you elected him in the first place back in ’64. Besides, if Goldwater is what you want, what the hell is wrong with Ron Paul? Good luck finding anyone closer than him! In fact, Paul is even better than Goldwater but you think he’s crazy and too far out there. The problem is, you people have absolutely no idea what you are looking for. The Republican Party has had such a bad case of dissociative identity disorder since the Nixon Era that the party has no clear cut distinctiveness. At least with the Democrats you know exactly what you’re going to get and shit man, they are usually always pretty fucking united.

The media keeps taking their eye off the ball in play and keeps looking ahead at what is potentially around the corner without carefully analyzing what is happening in the moment. This tactic is incredibly disrespectful to the candidates currently in the race. The media and the people that drink up the media are basically telling those who have jumped in this race that they aren’t any good and that they aren’t going to get any play because the search for the perfect candidate must continue at all costs! This candidate doesn’t exist however. There is no Republican candidate that is going to step up and bridge the gap between all the small sects within the party. What these shitcocks seek is not just improbable, it is impossible. They can continue to subscribe to this foolish mysticism but in doing so, they are polarizing their voting base even further. How about backing your party as a whole, let the current people in the hunt continue to hunt and let the chips fall where they may? I mean fuck, we are still a year away from knowing who the hell is going to face Obama. We’ve got time and in that time, the cream will rise to the top of this steaming cup of joe.

Let’s stop spending most of our time talking about hypotheticals and dream candidates and lets start working with what we’ve got. If Chris Christie decides to run, fine. Personally I think he’s a shit candidate but whatever. Same thing goes for Sarah Palin, Donald Trump and Emperor Creepy Dude. I don’t know about you but my guy is in the race already and there are a few others I would consider voting for and I’m not even a Republican. There is a full smörgåsbord of candidates with very different flavors already on the ticket. Stop thinking about dessert fatty and focus on the meal in front of you!

Besides, the media just loves to build people up only to shit on them later. Rick Perry is the most recent example of that. Granted his debate performances have been underwhelming to the GOP crowd but what can one expect when he was built up to be Jesus in a three-piece suit with a Texas accent? No one can live up to the hype Fox News and other conservative media giants created. Realistically, it is the media that is playing you. Stop worrying about who makes the hot anchorwoman wet and start worrying about policy and the stuff that matters. Fuck the hypotheticals. It’s already late in the game and if a candidate isn’t on the primary stage yet, they probably aren’t going to be and really shouldn’t be. If they haven’t made up their mind when we’re over a half dozen debates in, they probably aren’t going to be an effective decision maker when it comes down to running this country.

Personally, I am not happy with about 75 percent of these candidates and that is probably going to go up to 80 percent in the very near future. Philosophically they don’t add up but this is also my opinion, yours may be different because we’re not all perfect. The super-candidates the media keeps trying to create are only going to be more of the same. We’ve got every flavor on stage right now. Every base is covered, we don’t need to create sects within sects at this point. To add more shit to what is already mostly a pile of shit isn’t going to freshen things up. In fact, it will just turn a couple of turds into a fat bag of crap. Let’s sift through the crap we have now, pull out the useful stuff and polish it up. Otherwise, let’s just keep playing these stupid fucking games and then stand around like dumbfounded maroons when Obama wins the election next year.

But fuck it, what do I know? I’m just one of those Constitution loving crazy Ron Paul people.

My Two Cents: Pawlenty drops out and quickly endorses Romney? Sounds like a deal was made and Romney’s got his VP if he wins the primary. End Two Cents.

*Taken from National Journal. Video at link.

Former Republican presidential candidate Tim Pawlenty, who dropped out of the race last month, endorsed Mitt Romney for president, in an appearance on “Fox and Friends” this morning. “The next president is going to have to lead on the economy and jobs in a historic way and there’s one candidate in this race who is unmatched in his skills and experience and talent when it comes to turning around this economy and growing jobs. And that’s Mitt Romney,” Pawlenty said on the program. “And I’m proud and excited to endorse him for president of the United States.” Pawlenty said he will be serving as the national co-chairman of Romney’s campaign. He also said he didn’t want to be considered as Romney’s running mate. Pawlenty will be appearing with Romney Monday at a campaign event in Charleston, South Carolina. Pawlenty’s endorsement comes as the Republican establishment still has questions about Texas Gov. Rick Perry’s electability in a general election. Pawlenty dropped out of the race last month after the Ames Straw poll just as Perry launched his candidacy. Asked in the interview about Perry’s writings equating Social Security to a Ponzi scheme, Pawlenty noted the contrast on the issue between the two presidential candidates. “I know this. Governor Romney wants to fix Social Security. He doesn’t believe it should be thrown out. He believes it should be reformed and fixed and I think that’s the right approach. I think most Americans; most republicans understand that we’re going to need Social Security in a reformed and improved fashion going forward. That’s what Mitt Romney supports and that’s what I support as well.” Pawlenty went on to draw a clear contrast between the two: “Gov. Romney wants to fix Social Security. He doesn’t want to abolish it or end it…Gov. Perry has said in the past that he thought it was ‘failed’.'”

CONTINUED..

*Written by Rob Rimes.

Here we go again, another critique if you will on another primary debate for the GOP candidates who want to go head-to-head with Obama in 2012. This debate was the first to include, now front-runner, Texas Governor Rick Perry. He is a vile douchebag that I wrote about in ”American Psycho: The Ballad of Rick Perry“. This was also the first debate to not include Tim Pawlenty, as he dropped out of the race like a defeated little bitch even though he was voted third place after the last debate. As with all the other debates besides the first, Gary Johnson was nowhere to be found, which is fucking sacrilege. Thaddeus McCotter, another GOP candidate was also left out. He’s a guy I’d like to hear more from, even though his record is somewhat questionable. Then again, it’s nowhere near as bad as the records of the mainstream media’s handpicked golden boys.

The lineup this round consisted of my favorite candidate Ron Paul, the only one that matters; there were others as well however. The media’s new chosen golden boy Rick Perry was ready to duke it out with their original golden boy Mitt Romney. Awesome business man and non-politician Herman Cain was on stage, as was the lord of fire Newt Gingrich and supermom Michele Bachmann. Oh yeah, some how Rick Santorum and Jon Huntsman were invited too.

This debate was the first one to air on MSNBC as it was hosted by NBC and Politico. While those two organizations try to pass of as impartial and non-partisan, they are very liberal organizations. This is not a bad thing at all however. The contrast between the philosophies of the panel of moderators and the candidates should make for some entertaining television and give us a fresh perspective in this long drawn-out election cycle or so one would think.

Now I haven’t seen the tally of who had the most time but as a viewer, it felt that Perry and Romney got about half of the total debate time allotted to them and their banter against each other. I asked several other people and they also felt that this was the Perry-Romney Supershow Variety Hour. Because of this, most of the debate was lame. However, let me sum the shit up for you.

The night of course started with Emperor Rick Perry bragging about his record and how awesome he is as Texas’ dictator. Most of what he said about himself was bullshit but nobody cares because nobody checks facts anymore (here is a link for you though). Note to self: if I ever run for president I have to tell everyone I used to be a T-Rex; they’ll never know and I’ll be a fucking shoe in! Anyway, Perry lies and Romney stares at him like he wants a lick of the Perry Tootsie Pop. There’s too much good hair on the screen at one time. Mitt’s hair looks better on this night though.

So immediately the debate swings over to Mitt Romney, as the golden boys have to get the jump on the competition. He says a bunch of unimportant unmemorable shit which causes Perry to snap back and diss Mittens. It’s a golden boy shit show right off the bat! Perry disses on Mitt for his bad public sector record compared to his “great” private sector record. Mitt throws a low blow.. ba-jing! Perry and Romney go into a zing war! Shit! It’s like watching the douches smack each other with their wangs! With the country falling apart, these guys are giving us a bad reality show style squabble instead of giving us mind-blowing solutions to our peril. Whatever, the public loves them and they’re so handsome!

After the fight between the two middle school girls, our attention is directed towards Rick Santorum. How is this shitcock maroon still in this goddamned race? I think he’s only on the stage because he got lost on his way to the racquetball courts. Santorum is synonymous for slapping around blue balls. I didn’t really hear what he had to say, I’m assuming it had something to do with Jesus, war and water sports.

Herman Cain then gets the spotlight and introduces us to his 999 Plan (read about it here). I like the overall idea of the plan and it is light-years ahead of what most of these douches on the stage are peddling. I’ll critique it in-depth at a later date. Cain, who is always ready to give us a solution, attacks taxes and outshines Santorum, Perry and Romney right out the gate.

The panelists then cut over to Jon Huntsman for the first time and he goes on to tell us that we need to fix the weak broken core. I’m not sure if he is referring to America or his campaign. He also states that Utah was the number one job creator, not Texas or Massachusetts. Huntsman makes it known that Perry and Romney are both high on their own fumes and not as effective as they and the media think they are. Then again, Huntsman is about as effective as a tampon in a gunshot wound. Well, at least Huntsman gave a big shout out to free markets, not that I believe he will fight for true capitalism, he’ll most likely take a massive dump on it. However, being the ambassador to China may have taught him how capitalism works because that country has got their shit together like Legos and Gorilla Glue.

Michele gets the mic and instead of spitting a dope freestyle, she just rambles off her Tea Party talking points about Obamacare eating children and killing jobs or something like that. I’m not sure why this Canadian lady is up there. She then proceeds to remind us, for the umpteenth time in only her third debate, that she has had more children in her home than all the primary schools in Saskatchewan. She came off as bat-shit crazy in her first debate, came off really well in her second debate where she battled it out with Tim Pawlenty, but in this debate she is already back to living up to that creepy image of her from that infamous Newsweek cover. I don’t want to be a dickhole and call her a dingbat but she makes it really fucking hard.

Ron Paul finally gets the attention of Brian Williams and his cronies on the panel. Unlike Huntsman, Dr. Paul drops some knowledge on free markets and truly means what he says. He defends his stance on deregulation and doesn’t falter when Brian Williams presses him on his stance regarding the privatization of everything. Ron Paul with elegance and prose educates the panelists and other presidential candidates but of course his expertise and insight fall on deaf ears.

The moderators then point out that Newt Gingrich wrote the introduction to Rick Perry’s book. Of course the MSNBC stooges are trying to start fires and stir the pot for some Republican Party infighting. Newt takes a shot at Perry but doesn’t jab too hard as he uses his time to point out Obama’s blatant use of class warfare.

They return to Golden Boy 2 and ask Romney a question. Luckily for us viewers, there are technical difficulties. The gist of this exchange is an attempt by the moderators on the panel to drag the Romneycare skeletons out of the closet. To dodge this bullet and divert the attention off of himself, Romney promises to offer waivers for any state that wants to opt out of Obamacare. Um.. dude.. why don’t you just murder that bill instead? Repeal the fuck out of it, that’s what you said you would do before. Is he flip-flopping or stumbling through his thoughts?

The health care debate rolls over towards Golden Boy 1 Rick Perry but he dodges bullets like the Ghost Twins from the second ‘Matrix’ movie. Question: Why are so many people in Texas without health care. A: I had to buy some suits and hair gel. Huntsman jumps in the mix, says some unimportant shit and is obviously wearing John Boehner’s skin as he is orange as fuck under those hot stage lights. Bachmann jumps in to pat herself on the back and surprisingly doesn’t mention one of her 1,274 kids.

The debate continues and continues and not a lot of important shit happens or is said. Overall, this is the least memorable of all the debates thus far, even with it being Perry’s debut. So what’s that say about Perry? Also, being in the den of liberals isn’t as exciting as it should be. Ah well, we’re only halfway here.

The most memorable part of the night besides Ron Paul being the only real people’s candidate up there was Newt Gingrich going off on the moderators for their attempts to divide the candidates and create drama. Everything else is really just filler and redundant rhetoric used to trigger cheap pops from the crowd.

Rick Perry did attack Ron Paul at a point and talked of how Paul was pro-Reagan and then anti-Republican back in the 1980′s. Ron Paul defending himself well and pointed out that he supported Reagan in ’76 and ’80 but by ’88 had grown tired of the “politics as usual” of the spend-crazy Reagan Administration and so he left the party to run for president under the banner of the Libertarian Party. This issue is about the only “dirt” anyone can dig up on Ron Paul and it isn’t even dirt. It certainly isn’t as fucking bad as Rick Perry working on Al Gore’s political campaign in ’88!

After Perry’s pot-stirring bullshit with Ron Paul, he was confronted with the fact that George W. Bush’s minions Karl Rove and Dick Cheney have been bashing him to the media. Perry just looks uncomfortable and can’t really formulate a real defense. Between the long pauses and lack of real answers on most issues, Perry looks incredibly weak in this debate. I severely dislike the guy but if he’s such a great candidate why can’t he present himself better? I was disappointed in his performance but at the same time grateful because he did horrible. Then again, after the debate, the media is still pimping him out!

One of the big subjects of the debate was Social Security. The best solution to the problem was brought up by Herman Cain who said that we should adopt the Chilean model. Essentially, that would involve privatizing it. Read more on the Chilean model here.

Rick Perry is finally confronted with the fact that he tried to force vaccinations on girls going into the sixth grade. Ron Paul throws some shit in Perry’s lap, which was refreshing. Attacking other candidates is not Ron Paul’s style but when Rick Perry is a dirty evil son of a bitch, Dr. Paul did the right thing. Bachmann also jumped on Perry and said that what he did was a violation of parental rights. Then she spun that into education reform and I got confused.

Back on topic, Rick Perry tried to defend his Hitler-esque program. His explanation was lame, pointless and did nothing to assure people that he wasn’t a douchebag.. well, except for the mainstream media who still sip his semen cider. One thing Perry forgot to mention however is that the drug company Merck was a huge contributor to his campaigns.

The next big topic to come up is Homeland Security and the TSA. Newt Gingrich informs us that people want to kill us and that we have to have DHS and the TSA. Ron Paul makes a case for privatizing the TSA, he also used his time to rightfully bash FEMA. Jon Huntsman wants a more efficient Department of Homeland Security.

Rick Perry is then challenged on his ability to manage education in this country, as his state has the worst graduation rates in the country. As with everything he is challenged with, Perry doesn’t have a good solid answer. I’m beginning to wonder if his long dramatic pauses are an attempt to collect his thoughts, an attempt to fashion a lie or a way to waste time in order to not really answer the questions. I bet it’s a combination of the three. Everyone else up there is pretty much in favor of school choice.

MSNBC then dusts off their latino reporter for the segment on immigration. Rick Perry, a guy whose record proves he couldn’t care less about border security, calls for more border agents. He also calls for Predator drones. Dude, their are already fucking Predator drones on YOUR state’s border! Are you that fucking dense? Or do you really not pay that much attention? Why did no one call him out on this blatant fucking oversight?!

Mitt Romney wants a super fence on the border and promises no amnesty whatsoever. Newt educates the audience and the moderators on why Reagan went with amnesty and immigration reform. Rick Santorum wants to lock the border down and after that he’d be willing to have discussions about immigration. So, no discussions until we close off those we would have the discussions with. Michele Bachmann believes this magic fence would save us from drug cartels. Is it tall enough to stop helicopters and catapults? All these people need to watch the immigration episode of ‘Penn & Teller’s Bullshit’. At least Herman Cain believes that immigration issues should be handled at the state level and that the federal government should have no control over state’s decisions to combat the problem.

Ron Paul is the only candidate to drop any real knowledge when he goes on to explain how the fence is stupid and that it could potentially be used to keep us in as opposed to keeping people out. He also breaks down the real problems which are the drug war and the welfare system. I wrote about these issues and how they relate to immigration in “Conservatives & Aliens“.

Hey, where’s the latino guy?! Oh, the immigration segment is over. Well played MSNBC.

Romney goes on to explain how he will prevent us from going into a recession. Apparently he is unaware that we are already in a recession. That’s understandable I guess, we’ve only been in it for 3 years. He then attacks Obama for his lack of leadership in an effort to run out time and avoid answering the Tea Party themed question. Mittens is no constitutional conservative.

When Rick Perry is asked if he thinks that Bush II was too quick to launch military intervention. He then dodges the Bush question to give Obama props on his military prowess! He also gives props to the Navy SEALs. Perry actually says “propes” instead of “props” because he is a backwoods fuck that is trying to be cool and fit in with the kids. Stop trying douche-sandwich! You’re whack as fuck and no one likes your DJ!

Tea Party darling Michele Bachmann claims that the U.S. military has been responsible for maintaining global order. WTF?! Is this dingbat rubbing angeldust on her gums again? She does not represent the Tea Party if she believes this and if the majority of the Tea Party also believes this, then the Tea Party is a bunch of frauds. Bachmann wants to reign in a global police state apparently. “Yay!” for military interventionism! She is against Libya but still cool with being the global police. It’s all interventionism and none of it is any of our business. Well, except what was made our business because of previous interventionism and military meddling.

Oh yeah, more Rick Santorum! Why is he still in this damn race? Once again, where the hell is Gary Johnson?! And why isn’t McCotter here as well?

These conservatives are now on the subject of science, something most of them don’t understand. They just look at it as another “religion” in competition with Christianity. Huntsman says we can’t run from science, we need to embrace it. Um.. no duh! He says we must do what must be done to win voters. Okay, so is he asking to abandon religion? Perry believes that the science on climate change isn’t “settled”. Bachmann points out that an agenda is being put out in front of real science, which is true but it is also not a reason to completely disregard it. It is still based more in facts and reality than any faith-based belief system.

Newt Gingrich then wins a few points from me when he says that if he were president he would immediately fire Ben Bernanke and audit the Federal Reserve. Man, Ron Paul is starting to rub off on some people. As I’ve stated many times over, I have never liked Newt Gingrich and still don’t support most of his policies but he is winning me over (especially over Perry, Romney, Bachmann, Hunstsman and Santorum). Paul and Cain are the only two I put ahead of him right now.. well, and Gary Johnson too but where the fuck is he again? Romney then jumps on the bandwagon and says he’d fire Bernanke too. Whatever dude, stop pandering.

The panel then basically gives the rest of the time to the two golden boys. Perry goes on a tangent about the evils of killing children and how the greatest crime against humanity is “heinous crimes against our citizens”. Yeah dude, what exactly were your attempts at forced inoculation? Are you absolved of the crime because you only had intent and didn’t do the crime? So the Texas legislators that prevented you from implementing your Nazi health program also washed your hands of any wrongdoing? What if they didn’t stop you, would you still be a stand up guy?

Ron Paul gets one more brief moment to speak and he uses his last minute or so to explain that there is nowhere in the Constitution that gives the federal government the power to force us all into a welfare state. He vows to fight it and end the tyranny of the welfare system. Let’s do this! The debate then officially ends at 9:49 PM EST, eleven minutes early.

Overall, this debate pretty much sucked. It was better than that horrible CNN one where John King assaulted us with his throat noises but it was a lot weaker than what I had hoped for. Perry just isn’t a good speaker and I can’t put a finger on why everyone loves him. Well, Hitler got into power somehow so I guess it isn’t too farfetched to believe that this needle stabbing Nazi doesn’t have a real chance. Romney did nothing but he out-shined Perry, Santorum and Huntsman were piss breaks and Bachmann was frantically whittling little race cars for her 2,549 kids between questions. Ron Paul is the only one that had me fist-pumping although Herman Cain and Newt Gingrich also had some very high points.

Without further ado, here’s my letter grade ranking system.

Grading Scale:
Grade A-: Ron Paul
Grade B+: Herman Cain
Grade B: Newt Gingrich
Grade C: Mitt Romney
Grade D: Michele Bachmann
Grade D-: John Hunstsman
Grade D-: Rick Perry
Grade F: Rick Santorum
Grade I: Gary Johnson
Grade I: Thaddeus McCotter

*Written by Rob Rimes.

This last week has been crazy, especially if you are a Ron Paul supporter and believe that he is the greatest choice we have to fill the chair in the Oval Office. Some people claim that he is unelectable, such as the uber-douche billionaire Donald Trump. Others claim that he is crazy. As far as I am concerned, none of these concerns are valid, well unless you consider the Founding Fathers crazy or you think a guy who has been reelected to Congress continually since 1976 (minus a 12 year break) is unelectable. Ron Paul has been bucking the trends of a growing socialist state since the Gerald Ford era! So yeah, let’s sweep the guy under the rug and ignore him; if that doesn’t work we’ll call him names.

The fact of the matter is that Ron Paul scares the everliving shit out of people on the left and on the right. He says things that resonate with people and unfortunately for the two big parties, what resonates with people seemingly isn’t what either party represents at their core, at least anymore. Ron Paul is the antithesis to the modern American political system. He represents a school of thought that contradicts all the bullshit rhetoric and talking points of conservative and liberal pundits. He understands economics, freedom and knows what we have to do, and most importantly sacrifice, to survive and eventually thrive once again. Where all these other conservative candidates on the stage competing to be the one to knock off Barack Obama in 2012 claim to be fiscally responsible constitutional conservatives, Ron Paul truly is the only one that fits that bill. Gary Johnson does too but he hasn’t been invited to the debates lately. Johnson is just another guy that they are trying to ignore and bury. The cold hard reality is that these other candidates are all for the Constitution when it suits their agenda. When it doesn’t they use their platform to justify why they need to violate our constitutional rights. It is a classic example of Orwellian doublespeak and doublethink at its finest. Fuck the establishment cocks.

The problem is, that it doesn’t matter how well Ron Paul sizes up against the competition, it is completely and blatantly fucking ignored. Again and again the media has turned a blind eye to the man’s success and triumphs, especially in what has shaped up to become the biggest presidential election of our lifetime. This past week has been full of several incidents where Paul has been treated unfairly by the mainstream media. In fact, it was the people over at Wake Up 1776 that posted a story immediately after the last debate that no other media outlet except my site TheSwash.com and a handful of others touched. Essentially, Ron Paul was treated unjustly by Fox News and this wasn’t the first time.

The incident I am referring to surrounds their online poll which immediately followed the Iowa debate last thursday night. Before going off the air, debate moderator and host Bret Baier told the audience to make sure that they log onto FoxNews.com and vote for who they thought won the third GOP debate of the 2012 presidential election cycle.

Immediately after the debate, we were subjected to a ‘Hannity’ special with interviews with every candidate at the debate, except Ron Paul. In fact, he was barely mentioned on the show, as Sean Hannity and his chief number fixer and propagandist Frank Luntz used the time to pimp out the establishment candidates like Mitt Romney, Michele Bachmann and others. About the only time Ron Paul was mentioned was when they talked about Rick Santorum taking it to him and challenging his “crazy” ideas. As hard as it was to stomach, I sat through the shit show just so I could see the FoxNews.com poll results. Oddly, the show went off the air with no mention of the poll.

I went online to find the poll, it wasn’t there. So I then signed on to my Facebook account to bitch about it and I noticed a link from Wake Up 1776. According to their story, there was a poll and Ron Paul was significantly in the lead! However, the poll was pulled down. It’s funny because earlier in that day they had a pre-game poll on their site that was asking who was going to win the debate. Ron Paul had a significant lead in that poll too but there was no mention of it on Fox News leading up to the debate. In essence, Fox News was censoring Ron Paul’s support. They denied the average American the opportunity to let their voice be heard because their agenda is not in line with what the average American wants.

Reposting this story brought The Swash a lot of traffic on Friday and truth be told, it was by far the busiest day in the history of my website. In fact, I had a 250 percent increase over my previous busiest day. People were outraged and looking for answers and I was only one of a few sites that apparently had the balls to pass on the truth. This isn’t an attempt to toot my own horn or promote my site; if anything, it is a smackdown against all these media giants who didn’t pick up on it. Truth is, I am sure they caught wind of it, they just didn’t see the point in reporting the news. Why tell the truth when manufacturing the results you want is better for business?

I don’t know if I had anything to do with this or if it was the work of Wake Up 1776 or someone else, but sometime during the next day, the poll magically reappeared on the Fox News website. Granted it was somewhat buried but it was there. At this point, over 12 hours later, Ron Paul still had a significant lead in their poll over everyone else. In fact, Ron Paul was around 48 percent when I looked at it. Keep in mind that there were seven other candidates on that poll! Perusing the Internet, I noticed that he had a significant lead on the Yahoo! poll as well as many others. On Facebook he lead every single poll I came across, except for the one put out by Michele Bachmann’s people.

So later on that day, after a night of drinking and working on another article, I watched the replay of ‘The Five’ on Fox News. They spent nearly the entire show talking about the debate with little to no mention of Ron Paul, even after having their mysteriously disappearing poll exposed. Towards the end of the debate talk, co-host Juan Williams called for the producers to pull up the graphic with the Fox News debate poll results. Oddly, Juan stares at the camera for a second and is told that they don’t have that graphic. Subject changed, poll ignored and they are off talking about something else. Isn’t Fox News the channel that calls themselves “fair and balanced”? Apparently those words have a different meaning at the Fox offices. Apparently they translate to “biased as fuck”.

Watching ‘The Five’ reminded me of an episode of ‘Follow the Money’ I watched on Fox Business after the previous debate months prior. Host Eric Bolling and guest Andrea Tantaros, both co-hosts on ‘The Five’ were spending literally an hour with another panel talking down Ron Paul and his crazy ideas. I specifically remember Tantaros saying that Ron Paul is starting to win people over because he’s not as “crazy” as he was in 2008. Um.. no honey, Dr. Paul is saying the exact same thing he said in 2008. In fact, he is saying the exact same thing he said when he ran for president in 1988. He is the most consistent and unchanging candidate this country has seen in decades. His ideas just seem less “crazy” because of the advent of the Tea Party and the pro-liberty constitutional movement. There are now more people willing to ingest the ideas that Ron Paul has been presenting for years. Ron Paul resonates with people because more and more are waking up and accepting these hard truths. The message is the same and the man isn’t less crazy or even crazy at all. At least Judge Andrew Napolitano’s ‘Freedom Watch’ and John Stossel’s ‘Stossel’ also share and present the same views as Ron Paul. Hopefully they don’t get chin checked by Fox News.

All of this Fox News bullshit reminds me of back in February when they covered the winner of the CPAC straw poll. That winner was Ron Paul for the second year in a row. However, when Fox News’ Bill Hemmer cued up the video of the announcement, there was a game of switcheroo in play. Fox showed us the video from the previous year when Ron Paul was announced and Romney supporters in the crowd booed. This year, when Ron Paul won for the second time, there were cheers and applause. Fox News however “mistakenly” used the wrong footage. Once exposed in the national media, they had to apologize to Ron Paul and then showed the actual footage from the correct CPAC event. I posted a breakdown of this on TheSwash.com here.

Not only did Ron Paul own the competition at CPAC this past year but he also won the straw poll at this year’s Republican Leadership Conference. Fox News did announce him but it was brushed off and treated as just some senseless and meaningless straw poll. Yes, Fox News who bombards us with poll results all goddamned day on every show had to point out how pointless the numbers are when it doesn’t represent their ideal outcome. Cool, well then I’m pointing out that Frank Luntz focus groups are meaningless and pointless too.

So back to this Iowa debate last week, the one thing everyone was waiting for was the results of the Iowa straw poll winner. Well, good thing for Fox News, the winner was their handpicked Tea Party darling Michele Bachmann. However, Ron Paul was in second. He wasn’t just in second however, he was almost the winner. In fact, the straw poll results were so close that if you take the Fox News massive staff out of the mix, as I am sure they voted in this poll over the weekend, Ron Paul may have one. Just kidding, I’m sure Fox News allows their employees to vote however they want. Needless to say, Michele Bachmann won with 4,823 votes against Ron Paul’s 4,671 votes. It was THAT close!

Now Fox News and all the other mainstream media outlets are claiming that Bachmann has “cemented” her top-tier candidate status with no real mention of Paul being right up her ass. I mean, really? Bachmann has cemented her status with 15 months still left before the actual election and with Ron Paul that closely behind? Tim Pawlenty, who was in third, only had 2,293 votes! So then why did Politico just run a story with the headline “Michele Bachman wins Ames straw poll, Tim Pawlenty gets third”? What about 2nd place assfucks? Looks like even the liberal media is trying to ignore Ron Paul. The funny thing is that even with all the props, Tim Pawlenty quit almost immediately after the poll.

Another form of extreme bias that I came across was radio host Mark Levin’s idiotic and anger-laced rant about how “crazy” Ron Paul is. Levin, as always, went on a non-alcoholic drunken rampage without any real explanation as to why he was rubbed the wrong way by Dr. Paul. He just ranted and ranted and ranted like a spoiled brat who didn’t like that his nanny put mayonnaise on his turkey club instead of Miracle Whip. I actually thought of calling in and discussing it with Mr. Levin but as we all know, if he doesn’t like what you have to say he just slams the phone down and insults you for a window of 45 to 90 seconds. Why debate with a guy who is irate and hides behind a switchboard with shaky fingers. Someone needs to give the dude a couple of Xanax and a muffin.

So with mostly everyone in the media working against him, how can Ron Paul persevere and make an impact? Well, he has been doing just fine thus far. The more the media tries to ignore him and the more obstacles they put in front of him, the stronger his support gets. I don’t know if Ron Paul will win the primary but I’m pretty damn sure that he has more of a chance this year than anytime before, despite the mainstream media’s agenda against him.

As voters and American citizens it is up to us to voice our discontent over the unfair treatment of Ron Paul in the media, as well as any other candidate who doesn’t get a fair shake. Ron Paul is my guy but I get equally as mad when other candidates are treated with the same sort of bias, like Gary Johnson. Put the candidates out there, let the people decide and report the fucking truth!

Now I know that this is too much to ask for but this is also why the mainstream media is losing its hold on America. With the Internet and the technology that is available to the world now, ignoring or misrepresenting the truth is quickly backfiring on these archaic media monsters who manufacture dissent and skew reality. Between smartphones, YouTube and alternative media outlets, the truth is instantly and readily available to anyone who wants to siphon through the bullshit and find the truth. Pulling the wool over our eyes isn’t working anymore and all it is going to do is bite you in the fucking ass hard.